Ty. I've thought of speaking to my college lecturer about it. There are 5 months left of the second-term and exams coming up. I'm just gonna tell him I don't feel ready for university. I feel like I have rather than I want to. Continuing like this is going to push me over the edge. I've thought about getting a simple minimum wage job, where there's a routine and I have a balanced amount of work and personal time. I took the WAIS cognitive test and it showed my verbal-related IQ percentile was 90th percentile (about as high as you can get) but my working memory, matrix reasoning and problem-solving capabilities are that of a child in <20th percentile. I think I have reached my academic limit, I am pretty much disabled. I guess it's a mild form of savantism as it runs through my dad's side a lot with my uncles and cousins. I am thankful I have my parents to help look after me otherwise I would have been dead by now if I was living alone.
The part I fear most is growing into adulthood and feeling isolated and lacking any real credentials to get a good income. University would just be a more stressful version of high school. I can't afford to move away from home, I don't drink or smoke and I don't like parties or socialising at all. That ruins the whole point of the "uni experience". My family are on benefits (or welfare as some call it) and money has been tight lately with Christmas. My sister can't work yet, my older brother is moving out soon and my younger brother is severely disabled. There are safety nets in place to help vulnerable people, but under the current government in the UK (Labour suck so bad) I don't expect that to last. Dating as well is tough. I want a boyfriend at some point too but how can I manage a relationship if I can't look after myself? I'm not dumb, I just need help - not in a patronizing way but living on my own is not possible. I avoid alcohol like the plague for a reason.
The way I'm coping with it is just by trying to establish a routine, waking up early, dieting and doing small steps. I make a bullet-point to-do list and try to stick with that. There's just too much to do in so little time.