The Joke Thread

[Cardboardtubeknight Cardboardtubeknight]

I eat mop who?

Ewww you eat your poo?

 

[GardeniaSky's icon GardeniaSky GardeniaSky]

What did the mom buffalo say to the baby buffalo when he went to college?

Bison.

 

[Cardboardtubeknight Cardboardtubeknight]

What did the mom buffalo say to the baby buffalo when he went to college?

Bison.

Thats my days favorite kind of meat for that reason

 

[ZEGA ZONIC]

 

[TacoMeister]

They say money talks.

Mine says goodbye...

 

[ZEGA ZONIC]

Who's Chris P Bacon?

A pig that got cooked for breakfast!

 

[Dyne]

A gorilla got loose from a zoo and was found up in a local tree, so they called a special animal wrangler to come capture the gorilla.
When the wrangler got there, get went into his trunk and pulled out a pair of handcuffs, a stick, a shotgun, and a little Chihuahua dog.

The man who called him said "what the heck is all that stuff for?"
The wrangler said, "okay here's the deal: I'm going to climb into the tree and hit the gorilla with this stick, to make him fall out of the tree. This is a very specially trained Chihuahua -- when the gorilla falls out of the tree, the Chihuahua will run up and viciously bite the gorilla on the balls. The gorilla will fall over in pain and grab its balls. When it does that, I'll put the handcuffs on it and take it back to the zoo."

The man looked at him in disbelief and said, "okay... and what's the shotgun for?"

Spoiler

The wrangler said, "in case I fall out of the tree"

 

[Morgana Veil]

Just waiting on the mandatory "Your momma" or "Look in the mirror to see a lame joke" etc..

 

[TacoMeister]

Who's Chris P Bacon?

A pig that got cooked for breakfast!

 

[Clippy]

Wanted to make a chemistry joke

but all the good ones argon.

 

[Samatonic Samatonic]

What coding language do reptiles use ?
Python.

 

[Clippy]

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?

Tentacles.

 

[Cardboardtubeknight Cardboardtubeknight]

Why did the physicist break up with the biologist? There was no chemistry

 

[Clippy]

When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar.

 

[Cardboardtubeknight Cardboardtubeknight]

A baby seal walks into a club

 

[Kamako]

I'd tell you my cheddar joke, but it's too cheesy.

 

[Samatonic Samatonic]

Two beavers went on a walk together but was cut short due to a lake in the middle of the road. One turns to the other and said "Dam it".

 

[Kamako]

A. Knock Knock
B. Who's there?
A. Banana.
B. Banana who?

(-Repeat the above at least 5 times-)

A. Knock Knock
B. .....Who's there?
A. Orange.
B. Orange who?
A. Orange you glad I didn't say banana again?

 

[Samatonic Samatonic]

Knock! Knock!

 

[Cardboardtubeknight Cardboardtubeknight]

Knock! Knock!

Im not coming to the door

 

[Samatonic Samatonic]

Im not coming to the door

Correct Answer!

 

[RETRO-VETRO]

Why did the old console start a podcast?
Because it had too many bits and not enough listeners.

 

[Clippy]

What do you call an alligator in a vest?

An investigator.

 

[Samatonic Samatonic]

Why did Macdonald's faint.
Because he got a whopper.