I just finished Super Mario Bros FULLY for, I believe the first time. I had it pointed out to me that most people only ever play by beelining to the warp zones, and I realized I was absolutely part of that problem. So, I decided to take the time to do a full 32 level run to see how it would go.
The full 32 is a much more full feeling experience, with a very fulfilling variety of level themes, obstacles, and a legendarily fleshed out learning curve. My only issues came from those maze castles (which can be questionably cryptic to a frustrating degree. Nobody likes dying because the game suddenly became a game of pick your poison) and from… them.
If Satan had a face in the Mario universe, it would be the Mario 1 Blooper. And I know we all hate Hammer Bros., rest assured they’re still the cause of most nonsense deaths due to their hammer having a hitbox before it’s even out of their hands, but the Blooper’s kills are all by design. They’ll be totally pacifist until you enter their domain, in which they’ll sway side to side in a perfect rhythm to trap and kill you. Just like a real oceanic predator! The scariest part of my playthrough was when I went into an alcove around World 3 to get some coins for a one up, only to be grouped up on by two of them who trapped and murked me without Mario having any say in the matter. Plus, negotiating with one at the end of 8-4 is truly diabolical, paired with the hellish Hammer Bro. placed right after as a middle finger to your patience.
The most memorable and my favorite stages in the game are 2-3 and the later 7-3. The long bridge with Cheep Cheeps hopping up from below is one of the most memorable and beautiful images in an older title like this, while also being decently challenging.
All in all, it was a fun playthrough. I’ll have to go back again though, as I took things easy on myself and played using NSO while laying on the couch. To my credit, I’ve spent the whole day dealing with healthcare woes and fighting with vehicle insurance, so I just needed something nice to play for the afternoon, but that doesn’t change that I still played on baby mode thanks to the power of save states. And rewind, which was mainly reserved for castles and their nonsense mazes, but that still bites. The next time I’ll play, it’ll be on the Wii Virtual Console, as I think that’s one of the better ways to play today.
In short, fun game, go play all 32 levels if you’ve never done it, and Bloopers can rot in the same place they spawned from.
RageBurner
