Random Your Dumbest Joke That's Still Funny?

[lestagio]

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse responds: "My wife has cancer"
Alternatively:
I walk into a bar. Ouch.

 

[SamanthaSamantha's icon]

Yo momma's so fat, she beeps when she backs away.

I hate it, but it still makes people chuckle xD

 

[lestagio]

Yo momma's so fat, she beeps when she backs away.

I hate it, but it still makes people chuckle xD

That's ridiculously stupid. And yet for some reason its kinda funny, LOL

 

[SamanthaSamantha's icon]

That's ridiculously stupid. And yet for some reason its kinda funny, LOL

That describes both me and the joke :D

 

[WallachiaResident98]

This guy got invited to a rooftop party, and while he was walking around and chatting with other party goers, he sees this one man take a shot of vodka and take a running jump off of the building's roof. He was horrified, and he went to look off of the side, only to see that the man was totally fine and was walking back into the building. After a minute or so, the man had returned to the roof, he went back to the bar, took another shot of vodka, and jumped off the side of the building again, returning inside the building and returning to the roof again. The man repeated this SEVERAL times, and then the guy observing this strange behavior decided to try it out himself. He went up to the bar, ordered a shot of vodka like the man did, sank the shot down his gullet, and he took a running jump off the building's roof, only to splat on the ground, dying instantly. The Bartender and the other man, who at this point was drunk as hell, looked down from the roof at the man's corpse. The bartender looked over at the drunk man standing next to him.

"You're a real asshole when you're drunk, Superman."

BONUS: What’s as big as a house, burns 20 liters of fuel every hour, puts out a shit-load of smoke and noise, and cuts an apple into three pieces?

A Soviet machine made to cut apples into four pieces!

 

[Metroid_Hybrid]

I walk into a bar. Ouch.

When I saw the title, I immediately thought...

Two guys walked into a bar, but the third guy ducked..

 

[Clippy]

 

[Metroid_Hybrid]

Here's a favorite of mine in recent years. It requires some set-up, but it fools people because how well it works with my dorky personality..

(Start off by discussing about how many of the myths surrounding Greek warriors seem to overlap with each other)...

Now everyone's heard about Achilles, right? But not too many people have heard about Bothades... He has pretty much the same origin story as Achilles. Who of course, as a baby, was dipped in the River Styx while being held by his ankle. Which, as we all know, made him invincible everywhere but his ankle. Well, instead, Bothades was held by his crotch while being dipped in the River Styx, thus making invulnerable everywhere but his groin. But now, here we are centuries later, and everybody is familiar with the epic story of Achilles, but is blissfully unaware of the all-too-common tragedy of........

Spoiler: ...

Both-a-DEEZ NUTS!!!!

 

[Zerpina]

If you're American when you go into the bathroom and American when you come out, what are you in the bathroom?

Spoiler: :D

European

 

[lestagio]

If you're American when you go into the bathroom and American when you come out, what are you in the bathroom?

Spoiler: :D

European

What are you when you need to you the bathroom really badly?

Spoiler: ?

Russian

 

[Zerpina]

What’s the most terrifying word in nuclear physics?

Spoiler:

Oops!

 

[SamanthaSamantha's icon]

There were these two guys hunting on the forest.

Suddenly, one of them raises his gun and shoots.

The other one gets alarmed and shouts: "What are you doing?! That was a glider!".

To which the other one replies: "Yes, but it at least dropped the poor guy".

 

[DinoRexMax DinoRexMax]

"I was in the park, wondering why a Frisbee always appears larger the close it gets...."

"And then it hit me..."

 

[Metroid_Hybrid]

Two cannibals were eating a clown..

One looked at the other and asked "Does this taste funny to you?"

 

[Aldia Aldia]

The king requested three of his most loyal servants to the throne room. He then made his orders:

"Brand, you shall kiss my hand."
"Pete, you shall kiss my feet."

But when it came time for the third servant and final order, the king said:

"Richard, where do you think you're going?"