During my last year in middle school my sister got hit by a car, well crossing the street in front of her school. It wasn’t until last year my family found out from a third party that the man that hit her wasn’t even supposed to be driving and that he died (I think it was of old). He got off basically Scott-free, only a slight tick on his insurance.
She didn’t die, she didn’t break any bones, but she got a concussion and permanent scarring + nerve damage. She wasn’t the same after, she’s very clearly angrier with the world, with people, with everything than she ever was before.
The time it happened is mostly very vague except some moments I remember clearly. Year or so after it happened it felt like everything was back to normal, that life hadn’t changed, that it was just a thing that happened. I felt I shouldn’t carry too much trauma from it, since I wasn’t the one that got hit, I didn’t see the accident, I didn’t even get to see her till over 7 hours afterwards (it happened in the morning, I wasn’t allowed to leave school without an adult).
Part of me still feels I shouldn’t feel so hurt by it, that time should have healed it. Like somehow my feelings devalues her’s, since it was her who was really hurt, who will carry literal scars for the rest of her life.
Ironically as times passed I’ve only felt more angry and upset about what happened, more helpless, sometimes like right now I can’t stop running it over.
Yeah my anxiety never ends either and my sleep constantly effs itself when u least expect it
