Mental health thread

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I would like to note that with the silly PFP yousef has and being the owner of this thread feels a little funny
 
Yeah thats just it, "I hate my life" is like the millennial catchphrase, it should he on a shirt

153o57cnafp81.jpg
 
But I heard I will become smart by the time I become an adult
Some changes will naturally happen due to gaining experiences over time.
However, it's not like we suddenly become all-knowing because we have entered adulthood.

I still make very embarrassing mistakes and lack common knowledge in many areas.
Yet, i have been able to make many friends in this forum and feel happy in my real life too! despite having a lot of one-of-a-kind problems that i struggle with in my life.

Also, even if the world's tough, we still have our own soothing little corner called RGT! at least it feels that way for me. 😊
Let’s all try our best to be kind to one another. ::terriermon-happy
 
When you look at life through the lens of suffering, it's easier to see that we all have our struggles and that it's easier to be kind to others b.c we personally know what it's like. (Not in a mother-theresa way, but in a mr Rogers way.) If you go through life you are probably going to experience some extreme forms of psychological trauma. There is no getting away from it. Mental illnesses are often triggered by close proximity to traumatic events so if you are among the blessed not to have a mental illness, good for you.

I am bi polar, have aspergers, PTSD, depression, anxiety and ADHD. I struggle mightily with all of these things everyday... but with the help of the Good Lord and RFK jr. I am pretty sure I can rid myself of these conditions and become the uber-badass I was meant to be... but even if that were to happen... would you still be you? If I had all of my 'shortcomings' stripped away, could I be 100 percent sure that other beneficial parts of my personality weren't also stripped away in the process? I could not so I have settled with my predicament I guess. It's not all bad. Ups and downs, lefts and rights moments of extreme agitation and elation.
I have achieved grand things, I have experienced incredible moments of happiness, horrible moments of sadness, I have a photographic memory for music and an insatiable desire to improve my life condition. I can also make a pretty mean toasted cheese sandwich.

I guess acceptance is the first part towards learning to live. I accept my conditions as a human for they have allowed me to make a glorious toasted cheese sandwich.

THE END
 
Long venting post, adding spoiler tag to not take up too much space for those just scrolling by.

There was a group of people I admired, though we never spoke to each other. I watched them work in awe, impressed by their commitment to their task and enjoying the product they had created. Earlier I decided to check behind the curtain and found a small monument of their own, names of the contributors scrawled all over it with proclamations of happiness at being done and lamentations at how they'd miss each other now that it was over. And there at the bottom of it all was a ticker, still counting, and it read "340 days since we were here." I just felt so alone.

Tracing my fingers over these names, I feel like nothing I have done will ever lead anyone else to the spot I am in now. No one will look upon my works and yearn to have been there with me, to have collaborated so we could make this impact together and share in the joy of our creations. That ticker holds the memory of a presence I never fully got to touch, only glimpse. Like walking through a museum of someone else's golden age, knowing I arrived just a little too late. I imagine the stories and fill in the blanks with reverence and longing. And seeing the proof that it’s over, that they’ve gone quietly without a goodbye? That hurts. Not because I was one of them, but because I wish I could’ve been. It’s not just ambition, it’s a desire to matter. To know that my work won’t fade when I do. That someone, somewhere, will walk where I walked, and feel a fraction of what I feel now at those forgotten places.

I don't build monuments because my works aren't physical. I assist, guide, and lead people the best I can, and hope that if I did well enough they'll become walking monuments themselves. But that means my legacy will only ever be word of mouth. That ticker is still ticking because something mattered there. And now I'm a witness. A steward of memory, even if it was never mine to begin with. It's just disheartening.
 
Lots of people in my life, family and friends both, ignore me when I invite them out. No “sorry I’m busy” or “I don’t like this sort of thing”, just silence. My siblings, my friends of many years…it’s been like this for ages for a few in particular.

We talk all the time, host events at my house, have TTRPG campaigns, never miss a birthday, they always get me something when they go abroad etc. so….why can nobody just take the two seconds to reply to me??! I know they’re online! And they’re on the phone more than I am!!!!! So why?

My time matters! My interests matter! My opinions matter! I’m not going to allow myself to feel like an insecure teen bc my oldest friends didn’t emotionally develop alongside the rest of us.

I can hear it now “ohh uhhh Deebo sounds like you have a poor grasp on establishing and enforcing boundaries” I CAN ASSURE YOU THATS NOT THE CASE. but I don’t know what to do, after spending years telling the bad ones to piss off and years nurturing my relationships with the right ones—what do I do when the people I’ve grown to love as family end up making me feel like shit too? I can’t just run forever, because then I’ll have no one. No one can run from everyone. But I certainly can’t keep my emotional investment at the same level because they’ve been making me cry for years.

My siblings and a few friends in particular are emotionally stunted, not very thoughtful of others, and so risk-avoidant you can hardly get them to do ANYTHING, even old hat. I understand they may be going through their own shit that I have no idea about, but they’re hurting me. that’s the consequence of their behaviour. It’s okay to say they’re doing a poor job maintaining connections with others. And I’ve been bitching about the same stuff for years with them. It seems a part of who they are.

But I spent years just trying to keep myself alive, and I’m ready to live now. I dont want to die, I want to skate. Wanting the people who tell you they love you to live it with you is reasonable, and I’m done allowing them to let me down again and again. I need to say something. Even when my husband ruins the best chance I had…even if there’s never “a good time”. I need to.
 
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Lots of people in my life, family and friends both, ignore me when I invite them out. No “sorry I’m busy” or “I don’t like this sort of thing”, just silence. My siblings, my friends of many years…it’s been like this for ages for a few in particular.

We talk all the time, host events at my house, have TTRPG campaigns, never miss a birthday, they always get me something when they go abroad etc. so….why can nobody just take the two seconds to reply to me??! I know they’re online! And they’re on the phone more than I am!!!!! So why?

My time matters! My interests matter! My opinions matter! I’m not going to allow myself to feel like an insecure teen bc my oldest friends didn’t emotionally develop alongside the rest of us.

I can hear it now “ohh uhhh Deebo sounds like you have a poor grasp on establishing and enforcing boundaries” I CAN ASSURE YOU THATS NOT THE CASE. but I don’t know what to do, after spending years telling the bad ones to piss off and years nurturing my relationships with the right ones—what do I do when the people I’ve grown to love as family end up making me feel like shit too? I can’t just run forever, because then I’ll have no one. No one can run from everyone. But I certainly can’t keep my emotional investment at the same level because they’ve been making me cry for years.

My siblings and a few friends in particular are emotionally stunted, not very thoughtful of others, and so risk-avoidant you can hardly get them to do ANYTHING, even old hat. I understand they may be going through their own shit that I have no idea about, but they’re hurting me. that’s the consequence of their behaviour. It’s okay to say they’re doing a poor job maintaining connections with others. And I’ve been bitching about the same stuff for years with them. It seems a part of who they are.

But I spent years just trying to keep myself alive, and I’m ready to live now. I dont want to die, I want to skate. Wanting the people who tell you they love you to live it with you is reasonable, and I’m done allowing them to let me down again and again. I need to say something. Even when my husband ruins the best chance I had…even if there’s never “a good time”. I need to. And I also will not allow my husband’s family and friends that, let’s be honest he’s way closer with, continue to hurt me while he stands around like a rock. I’m done.
If i can give you hug i would ❤️🫂

U are amazing deebo! Your feelings are valid and you are doing the right thing to set your boundaries the way you are doing it <3
 
If i can give you hug i would ❤️🫂

U are amazing deebo! Your feelings are valid and you are doing the right thing to set your boundaries the way you are doing it <3
Thank you cheela, you’re always the sweetest.
I actually just messaged my kid siblings about it, just told them I love them and it hurts my feelings. And that I know I’m older and it’s not their job to cater to my feelings, but that if they make a habit of ignoring people they’re going to have a hard time maintaining relationships with others.
 
oh and btw @Pandaprewmaster325 , being smart means for me that you can do anything well and you don't have to depend on the others, that you dont forget stuff, that you don't say stupidities, and that you are competent in life and arent oblivious to anything
 
oh and btw @Pandaprewmaster325 , being smart means for me that you can do anything well and you don't have to depend on the others, that you dont forget stuff, that you don't say stupidities, and that you are competent in life and arent oblivious to anything
Everyone has to depend on other people to some extent, it’s the human condition. And everyone slips up and says silly things sometimes. I still think you are far too hard on yourself CJ. I’d imagine you’re not as hard on other people as you are on yourself, so try to give yourself some of that kindness ❤️
 
I think i'm a lost cause, I don't seem to be able to change as a person and for some reason I almost never follow people's advice
 
Don't forget to eat a fruit or some veggies today!
 
also dont be harsh on yourself! <3
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@Pandaprewmaster325 I forgot to mention that I also heard that my depression will be healed when I become an adult
sadly they are lying, adulthood is not the cure of depression! But worry not, the cure is being kinder to yourself and being proud of who you are. I know is cliche, hard, blablablabla but is the only true!!!! And the nice part is you dont need any age requirements to start treating yourself better <3
 
@Pandaprewmaster325 I forgot to mention that I also heard that my depression will be healed when I become an adult
Depression isn't a state that is permanent, irrespective of age, it has levels, types, phases, severities. It's not something you shed off, it is something you manage, like the amount of sunlight you take or your daily intake of water.
 
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