Mental health thread

[Asian girls loverAsian girls lover's icon]

I wish I was an adult already

Being an adult sucks too.

 

[Xdqwerty]

I miss when my parents werent divorced

 

[Xdqwerty]

I feel better today

 

[fake-kun]

I feel better today

That's good to hear.

 

[Viviana Santos]

I've been feeling much better recently, my mental health isn't perfect but I feel healthier.

 

[Yousef]

I've been feeling much better recently, my mental health isn't perfect but I feel healthier.

AWESOME!!!

 

[fake-kun]

I've been feeling much better recently, my mental health isn't perfect but I feel healthier.

That's good!

 

[prnzo x BOOZE-o ka-BEER-o]

If you're feeling down depressed and lonely I know a place where we can go, 22 Acacia Avenue, meet a lady that I know.

Charlotte tbe Harlot reinvented geometry in order to prove that time exists as more than just an imaginary counterpoint to space.

Post automatically merged: Yesterday at 2:41 PM

on a serious note (if I'm even capable of such conventions) - I often share my lifelong struggles with mental disorders in other posts or in chats- atm I just woke up n don't wanna trigger mehself to set a detrimental tone for my day so I won't go far into it for now - but for as much as I don't fear death or physical harm (which are for both positive n negative reasons) n I will throw down with anyone at the drop of a hat 'if aLL but force has failed' (I'd still rather break up a fight or only fight to protect those who are ill-equipped or too gripped with fear to defend themselves sufficiently) - I am a big coward when it comes to prolonged intimacy or sharing myself or my personal space with others - or looking things like rejection right in the eye. I also have puzzling problems that most find automatic n effortless to navigate - probably stemming from autism trappings that touch on the paralyzing combo of illusory 'perfectionism' n striving for 'objectivity' at all costs which turns what should be fun n immersive leisure activities into an utterly paralyzing, anxiety/frustration hell that only leads to more n more negative bad precedents.... long-story-short, I am filled to the brim with thought processes n daily issues to compliment my battles with ridiculous pain that even makes a 'tuff guy' who laughed at pain most of my life to cry 'uncle' n tap out though tapping out doesn't stop any inescapable nightmare scenario I face or even help to cope with it in any way/shape/form... my bizarre configuration of who I shamelessly strive to be irregardless of any 'need to belong' n my obscure health issues make this a lonely n answer-less battle as friends try to support n help but can't fully relate n don't know how to properly help - from lots of hope-crushing/discouraging experience 'professional' avenues of help don't know what to do for me either. this is all OK cuz I am a survivor with a supremely defiant attitude but sometimes even my extreme strengths n talents work against me as empty triumphs or maddening burdens that leave me often with loss of center/perspective or disillusioned n estranged from things I 'normally' love most... I don't wish to go on any further but this covers a bit of it. ADHD n bipolar type 1 also increase in severity n intensity to the point where I am left with no option, even strongly medicated, than to ride the rollercoaster or be the rollercoaster track n get run over by it repeatedly while I drag my feet in indecision or hesitation - unable to get a breather, unable to attain a middle-ground, unable to ever relax as my brain seems to incessantly push itself for a high level of productivity at all times whether I'm up fpr doin it or not.

sorry this is my burden n no one elses. I am strong enough to carry the weight but not always able to determine what direction to carry things towards or even know where to start after taking the curb-beatdown of clinical depression that even ignoring negative thinking or having good self-esteem can fight off. still I avoid any 'easy route' or falling back into self-medicating n I try to stop feeling 'sorry for myself' anytime I catch my disposition headin that way, I am strong enough to find solutions n am more compassioate than I even want to be as I feel strong painful 'gulps' worrying about disadvantaged ppl (even outta-control ones who fucked their life up) or neglected/abused animals. a friend who couldn't reach me where my phone was turned off took his own life n I have to relive that horror n self-blame over n over even in my sleep n a gf OD'd off a 'speedball' a week after I broke her heart n dismissed her calllously the week before... ughh sorry I have to cut this off now n go exercise or something, my bad for my confusing, entitled rant. my blackened heart goes out to everyone in or not in this thread for what it's worth n I'm better at helping others than my goddamned self so if anyone needs help but no one can provide an answer - reach out as my 'cosmic loneliness' of being far more unique than anyone should ever be - at least gives me the capabilities to understand n provide solutions fpr even those ball-n-chained to layers of labyrinthine comolexity or seeming paradoxical contradictions. sorry again if this is a dense/tough read n I perfectly understand if any of my posts are too TL:DR for most. thnx in any case

 

[Tonberry]

I just informed a good friend of mine that I wouldn’t be able to attend his wedding this June, and it made me feel like absolute shit.

I know it’s a huge day for him and everything, and I’m really touched that they thought of me and sent me an invite. I had been thinking about it almost every day since late November (last day to confirm was April 30th).

I’ve never experienced a wedding for someone my own age yet, and it gave me insane social anxiety just thinking about it. I don’t even own a suit.

It’s been troubling me a lot not being able to both decide, and tell him. But now I did. I know he’ll understand though, he’s one of my closest friends even though we don’t see each other very often, but when we do it’s like zero time has passed.

Just wanted to vent a bit.

Post automatically merged: Today at 1:37 PM

While I was typing out that post he responded to my message, and he told me in the kindest way possible that it was totally okay, and that the invitation didn’t bring any kind of assumption or expectation with it.

He totally laid my insecurities to rest, and I know him, and I know he was being sincere. I have a tendency to exaggerate things that make me worried in my head, and I had read a bunch of horror stories online over people who end friendships because they couldn’t attend some colleague’s wedding in some tropical resort location, so I irrationally imagined my close friend would react like that (if course I knew he didn’t).

I’m glad he didn’t, even though I feel selfish for declining.