Infomercials!

[SamanthaSamantha's icon]

I love infomercials.

They overhype the most useless shit in history and do it with a smile.

They are so effective at getting you to try the same drugs they apparently use, in fact, that I always leave them on whenever I happen to see one.

I will never forget the day my mom bought an exercise machine off of one — we got rid of it in a hurry, it was so bad xD

Do you have a favorite one? xD

 

[Clippy]

 

[ArchienineZXAdventArchienineZXAdvent's icon]

No, i always ignored them.
Also i left TV pretty early.

 

[SamanthaSamantha's icon]

My boy, Clipz, throwing one so hot, YouTube won't allow it outside its walls xD

 

[Nebulon_Galaxy]

reminds me of this classic

 

[ArchienineZXAdventArchienineZXAdvent's icon]

Spanish classics

 

[SamanthaSamantha's icon]

reminds me of this classic

I don't even know if they are still in business, but...

 

[Zerpina]

Staple of my teenage late night years, to be honest... and they were, for all intents and purposes, their own little self contained world. Stuff like the Slap Chop, Shake Fit... you know, the one that everyone basically called an exercise machine for women to get better at giving handjobs.

I'm too lazy to look the name up..... XD

I actually loved the horrible things. They were unironically funny most the time, with the voice over salesman overhyping it and yelling out "Call now and get a second one at absolutely no charge!" while at the bottom of the screen the asterisk with the +9.95 S&H was sneakily slipped in. And most people broke their necks to call, because, hey... we all need a second pasta draining lid. For sure one won't do.

Now, mind you, sometimes the products looked neat. They never were, but they looked it. Like I remember the Gravity Edge from, I think, 94 or 95. Basically a knockoff NordicFlex. Hell, it might have been made by them, who knows. Point being, I remember Bro walking in around 3 in the morning while I was laughing my very stoned ass off at it and saying "You know, that fucking thing will probably fall apart after Jabba gets it and sits on it the first time, and end up being used to hang laundry in a month"

I almost pissed myself laughing when he said that.

Ah... they were fun, and I almost kind of miss them. Now it's all YouTubers or out of work celebs trying to sell you anti aging cream or hair spray paint or whatever the hell they are getting a paycheck to slap their name on for this week...

just like then.... guess things never really change.

 

[ArchienineZXAdventArchienineZXAdvent's icon]

Staple of my teenage late night years, to be honest... and they were, for all intents and purposes, their own little self contained world. Stuff like the Slap Chop, Shake Fit... you know, the one that everyone basically called an exercise machine for women to get better at giving handjobs.

I'm too lazy to look the name up..... XD

I actually loved the horrible things. They were unironically funny most the time, with the voice over salesman overhyping it and yelling out "Call now and get a second one at absolutely no charge!" while at the bottom of the screen the asterisk with the +9.95 S&H was sneakily slipped in. And most people broke their necks to call, because, hey... we all need a second pasta draining lid. For sure one won't do.

Now, mind you, sometimes the products looked neat. They never were, but they looked it. Like I remember the Gravity Edge from, I think, 94 or 95. Basically a knockoff NordicFlex. Hell, it might have been made by them, who knows. Point being, I remember Bro walking in around 3 in the morning while I was laughing my very stoned ass off at it and saying "You know, that fucking thing will probably fall apart after Jabba gets it and sits on it the first time, and end up being used to hang laundry in a month"

I almost pissed myself laughing when he said that.

Ah... they were fun, and I almost kind of miss them. Now it's all YouTubers or out of work celebs trying to sell you anti aging cream or hair spray paint or whatever the hell they are getting a paycheck to slap their name on for this week...

just like then.... guess things never really change.
View attachment 211351

Interesting thoughts

 

[Zerpina]

*Edit
These aren't as old..... but God damn, if they didn't know what they were doing.

 

[Unassuming_Spook]

 

[SamanthaSamantha's icon]

"Call now and get a second one at absolutely no charge!" while at the bottom of the screen the asterisk with the +9.95 S&H was sneakily slipped in. And most people broke their necks to call, because, hey... we all need a second pasta draining lid. For sure one won't do.

I remember there being a watchdog show on TV focused exclusively on buying, testing and rating such products to prevent grandmas and single mothers from blowing whatever money they had on this junk — I thought it was the neatest, most useful program ever.

NordicFlex

Samantha mentioned

you know, the one that everyone basically called an exercise machine for women to get better at giving handjobs.

We called it... "Man, that's funny" xD

I remember Bro walking in around 3 in the morning while I was laughing my very stoned ass off at it and saying "You know, that fucking thing will probably fall apart after Jabba gets it and sits on it the first time, and end up being used to hang laundry in a month"

I did something very similar as a teen — maybe we ARE related after all xD

 

[Jeff]

The classics

 

[Unassuming_Spook]

Billy Mays would be proud of this forum.

 

[Zerpina]

I remember there being a watchdog show on TV focused exclusively on buying, testing and rating such products to prevent grandmas and single mothers from blowing whatever money they had on this junk — I thought it was the neatest, most useful program ever.

For sure, it sounds like something actually useful. Guess that's why it's not around anymore...

Samantha mentioned

You aren't the Dragonborn. >:p

We called it... "Man, that's funny" xD

Ya.... think guys called it "the handjobber" here or something like that..
I don't really remember, to be honest. But I do know it got MAJORLY made fun of here.

I did something very similar as a teen — maybe we ARE related after all xD

Doubt it. The world hasn't imploded yet....

 

[Unassuming_Spook]

For sure, it sounds like something actually useful. Guess that's why it's not around anymore...

You aren't the Dragonborn. >:p

Ya.... think guys called it "the handjobber" here or something like that..
I don't really remember, to be honest. But I do know it got MAJORLY made fun of here.

Doubt it. The world hasn't imploded yet....
View attachment 211356

Are you sure about that? It feels like the world is getting pretty implody, you know, Mother Nature dealing with cramps called the human race and all.

 

[SamanthaSamantha's icon]

Are you sure about that? It feels like the world is getting pretty implody, you know, Mother Nature dealing with cramps called the human race and all.

We are only saved because Z and I aren't on the same time zone — just wait til she wants to see the Northern Lights or something.

It'd be a beautiful apocalypse.

 

[Zerpina]

Are you sure about that? It feels like the world is getting pretty implody, you know, Mother Nature dealing with cramps called the human race and all.

Fair enough....
But in all honesty, I blame Samantha's love of cheesefries and water polo for that. ;D

We are only saved because Z and I aren't on the same time zone — just wait til she wants to see the Northern Lights or something.

It'd be a beautiful apocalypse.

So... end the World around the time Sony stops producing discs, then?

 

[shaggi shaggi]

They make items looks too good to be real. That's why it's nice to watch, but boring after a while.

 

[SamanthaSamantha's icon]

Fair enough....
But in all honesty, I blame Samantha's love of cheesefries and water polo for that. ;D

Wait, what? >:D

So... end the World around the time Sony stops producing discs, then?

"Don't even think about it, Coleman" - Jake Taylor xD

 

[Nebulon_Galaxy]

The classics

the free Tiger Poster is what i NEED!

Staple of my teenage late night years, to be honest... and they were, for all intents and purposes, their own little self contained world. Stuff like the Slap Chop, Shake Fit... you know, the one that everyone basically called an exercise machine for women to get better at giving handjobs.

I'm too lazy to look the name up..... XD

I actually loved the horrible things. They were unironically funny most the time, with the voice over salesman overhyping it and yelling out "Call now and get a second one at absolutely no charge!" while at the bottom of the screen the asterisk with the +9.95 S&H was sneakily slipped in. And most people broke their necks to call, because, hey... we all need a second pasta draining lid. For sure one won't do.

Now, mind you, sometimes the products looked neat. They never were, but they looked it. Like I remember the Gravity Edge from, I think, 94 or 95. Basically a knockoff NordicFlex. Hell, it might have been made by them, who knows. Point being, I remember Bro walking in around 3 in the morning while I was laughing my very stoned ass off at it and saying "You know, that fucking thing will probably fall apart after Jabba gets it and sits on it the first time, and end up being used to hang laundry in a month"

I almost pissed myself laughing when he said that.

Ah... they were fun, and I almost kind of miss them. Now it's all YouTubers or out of work celebs trying to sell you anti aging cream or hair spray paint or whatever the hell they are getting a paycheck to slap their name on for this week...

just like then.... guess things never really change.
View attachment 211351

ironically the shake weight actually works [dont ask me how I know this]