I'm tired

[kokonatsu17234]

i'm tired.
i'm just tired of everything, every single day i wake up thinking, "why am i still alive? what's the point of it all?".
i made one mistake and i get called selfish.

what makes me so selfish? the fact that i adjust myself to the people around me? or the fact that i sacrificed my own education so that someone else could graduate?
or that i willingly do everyone asks of me?

is it so bad that i had to wear a frown on my face for being asked to do something when someone else could've done it?
i just don't understand, do i have to live my life not being able to reciprocate my feelings? am i not allowed to feel anger, annoyance, frustration and sadness?
do i have to pretend like everything is fine and i should just be happy?

Every hour of my life i think about how i could just end it.
i mean how hard can it be? it should be easy, right?

But how come it's so hard? Does that mean that i have some lingering affection to this wretched hell i'm in or am i not doing it out of obligation?
i don't know anymore, i'm tired.

 

[Nebulon_Galaxy]

i'm tired.
i'm just tired of everything, every single day i wake up thinking, "why am i still alive? what's the point of it all?".
i made one mistake and i get called selfish.

what makes me so selfish? the fact that i adjust myself to the people around me? or the fact that i sacrificed my own education so that someone else could graduate?
or that i willingly do everyone asks of me?

is it so bad that i had to wear a frown on my face for being asked to do something when someone else could've done it?
i just don't understand, do i have to live my life not being able to reciprocate my feelings? am i not allowed to feel anger, annoyance, frustration and sadness?
do i have to pretend like everything is fine and i should just be happy?

Every hour of my life i think about how i could just end it.
i mean how hard can it be? it should be easy, right?

But how come it's so hard? Does that mean that i have some lingering affection to this wretched hell i'm in or am i not doing it out of obligation?
i don't know anymore, i'm tired.

Selfish people like that are the worst, You do matter and you are just as important as anyone else. I feel like you should associate yourself with people like that. Feels as tho they don't appreciate your self sacrifice.

 

[SamanthaSamantha's icon]

*HUGS*!

Ungrateful bastards are a huge drain on your life's batteries, but you don't owe them anything — maybe they can start doing their own damn chores and be thankful for the obvious sacrifices you have made for their sake and well-being.

I'm not one for confrontations, but if this has gotten to the point where you are considering the unthinkable, I think they need to hear it.

Spare no words — they certainly aren't.

 

[Dr.Kisaragi Dr.Kisaragi]

Well I can't say what is your situation but I think you rather let out of this feeling and be yourself I mean tell them because end of the day if someone gonna take ourselves is none other ourselves

(Sorry man I hope you find your happiness one of this days.)

 

[Vexicrypt]

Not gonna go into details but I feel pretty much the same. I go to bed hoping for a better day tomorrow (idk how there's still hope in me) just for it to be exactly the same, if not worse. Not to mention the air raid sirens going off 24/7 and whole lot of other stuff related to that.

I'd say something like "at least you have a somewhat normal life", but life struggles are individual to every person, so comparing is pointless and didn't help anyone ever. I guess we can only live one day at a time and just see what happens. The end will always be there, so no need to haste. At least that's what I tell myself.

Though this post might be a bait or something (idk internet anymore), if so, scratch that.

 

[Lod 10]

I don't know your situation, but it's similar to mine. At one point, I gave up doing the things I loved most, which was participating here, recording videos, and doing my projects.And to do my hobbies. I hope you can solve it. A big hug to you. ::coração

 

[MDGeistsfavMC5song]

i'm tired.
i'm just tired of everything, every single day i wake up thinking, "why am i still alive? what's the point of it all?".
i made one mistake and i get called selfish.

what makes me so selfish? the fact that i adjust myself to the people around me? or the fact that i sacrificed my own education so that someone else could graduate?
or that i willingly do everyone asks of me?

is it so bad that i had to wear a frown on my face for being asked to do something when someone else could've done it?
i just don't understand, do i have to live my life not being able to reciprocate my feelings? am i not allowed to feel anger, annoyance, frustration and sadness?
do i have to pretend like everything is fine and i should just be happy?

Every hour of my life i think about how i could just end it.
i mean how hard can it be? it should be easy, right?

But how come it's so hard? Does that mean that i have some lingering affection to this wretched hell i'm in or am i not doing it out of obligation?
i don't know anymore, i'm tired.

for real.. I need to sleep.. hey thats chaika!

 

[TruthandConsequence]

Dude, that's rough. I can't imagine how you feel right now. But it isn't your fault, even if some people around you feel it is.

I had a buddy that I stopped talking to a while back. His inability to grow up, and bring himself down to other people's level instead of thinking himself to be above everyone around him became too much for me to handle. And wouldn't you know it, he still thinks I'm the one in the wrong, and to this day still pesters people close to me about it. I have half a mind to clean his clock, especially for a certain situation I won't get into out of respect, but I gotta be the bigger man. I've ignored his childish ass this long, won't change that ever.

What I'm trying to say is, people will take you for granted for as long as they know you, and will lash out when you finally decide to do what's best for you, because they cannot let go of that comfort, and their disposition to feel that they are entitled to your time, and love. Use that love for yourself, and the ones you know have your back, not on grifters that steal the life from you.

I'm really sorry you're going through what you are man, you deserve better.

 

[CheesyExplosive]

i'm tired.
i'm just tired of everything, every single day i wake up thinking, "why am i still alive? what's the point of it all?".
i made one mistake and i get called selfish.

what makes me so selfish? the fact that i adjust myself to the people around me? or the fact that i sacrificed my own education so that someone else could graduate?
or that i willingly do everyone asks of me?

is it so bad that i had to wear a frown on my face for being asked to do something when someone else could've done it?
i just don't understand, do i have to live my life not being able to reciprocate my feelings? am i not allowed to feel anger, annoyance, frustration and sadness?
do i have to pretend like everything is fine and i should just be happy?

Every hour of my life i think about how i could just end it.
i mean how hard can it be? it should be easy, right?

But how come it's so hard? Does that mean that i have some lingering affection to this wretched hell i'm in or am i not doing it out of obligation?
i don't know anymore, i'm tired.

I have no clue about your situation, however your issues are less worse than mine. everyone who is alive in the past 37 years will go into a meltdown or transform into something unholy against me and not to anyone else. I know im not stupid nor a moron whatever i say or do that is wrong is a accident but it don't matter cause everyone want to turn into:

Because everyone has been searching for my life enturnaly only to murder me... most of the time i have fear of ignoring random strangers and passing by them because they are going to retaliate and assault me in a terrifying way and what make it so creepy is that he/she has allowed many other folks to pass them by every time he/she ask, But not me.

Now in your case the only thing have to say is say far apart from anyone who don't respect,not afraid and not moral to your life especially if they are sinful wrath that has a monster living inside them.

 

[Sciminoc]

Remember three days rule. If you have suicidal thoughts, wait three days before acting on them. Death is not going to run away from you.
If you are getting picked on at home, which I feel like you are, consider going to the library. I am dead serious. They have wi fi and electricity, if you got a phone, tablet, or a laptop you can spend there the whole day the same way you could spend it at home, especially if you take some food with you. Probably take an id in case you want to rent books there too and bring them home. Being literally away from people helps.
In my opinion, there are only two types of people. Those who drag you down or up. There are no between. Most of the time people can't tell if they get dragged down slowly until they are at the very bottom and every inch counts. I am talking as a person who doesn't get lonely, but still - if somebody brings you down - get away from them. Or at least keep away from them as much as you can.
Hope you will find some of this useful.

 

[Mileena]

This is easy for me to say as opposed to others doing it but….from someone who used to care A LOT what others said/thought…..I’ve come a long way and decided a long time ago to just say “fuck it, who cares what they think?” Everyone has an opinion and they’re free to do so but the best thing you can do with negative shit is shrug your shoulders and know that you did what you felt was the right thing to do and if other people don’t like it, that’s on them, not you.

I can’t even tell you how great it is to turn your thinking around and program yourself to not let the negative opinions of others impact your life. Huge weight off my shoulders.

Ending yourself legit solves NOTHING. It’s not worth losing your life over opinions, I don’t know why people go that route but it doesn’t change anything except you’re gone. Those same people are still going to have the same opinion. Life is worth living and words coming out of other people’s mouths are nothing more than that. Opinions are like assholes, everybody’s got one….


Don’t let it get to you, their bitching will pass someday, life is great and there are many things to look forward to, fuck negative people, let them drown in their own misery while you shut that shit out of your life and live happily.

 

[TruthandConsequence]

i'm tired.
i'm just tired of everything, every single day i wake up thinking, "why am i still alive? what's the point of it all?".
i made one mistake and i get called selfish.

what makes me so selfish? the fact that i adjust myself to the people around me? or the fact that i sacrificed my own education so that someone else could graduate?
or that i willingly do everyone asks of me?

is it so bad that i had to wear a frown on my face for being asked to do something when someone else could've done it?
i just don't understand, do i have to live my life not being able to reciprocate my feelings? am i not allowed to feel anger, annoyance, frustration and sadness?
do i have to pretend like everything is fine and i should just be happy?

Every hour of my life i think about how i could just end it.
i mean how hard can it be? it should be easy, right?

But how come it's so hard? Does that mean that i have some lingering affection to this wretched hell i'm in or am i not doing it out of obligation?
i don't know anymore, i'm tired.

You know, I feel like an asshole for not realizing. I've been skimming and leaving thoughts on the forum for a couple hours now, but I realized what you said.

I know you don't know me, and probably don't value the opinion of a stranger, especially one that doesn't fully understand your situation. But you are not alone dude, please think before you do something so drastic.

I won't lie to you, and butter it up to make you feel better. I've thought about it a lot myself. Most of my life to be frank. But there's one thing stopping me. The people I'd leave behind. I couldn't do that to them.

It's really corny, but it's something I think about a lot. It's said that everyone has at least someone in their life, whether they are aware or not, that values even the sight of you. Brightens their day, and you wouldn't even know it because they may never say something to you. I know at least me personally I have people I haven't seen in years that I still think about, and wish well.

Idk, I'm not the best person for these types of things, I'd just hate to see someone give up, just in general. I doubt you'd want to, but I don't have much going on daily, so if you ever want to talk, shoot me a DM, or even just mention me in a post. I value this forum, and everyone in it, as corny as that sounds. This place is different than the current landscape, to a point. And I find myself enjoying most interactions. I'm free is what I'm saying.

 

[shaggi shaggi]

Well, I can't say what your situation is, but I hope you eventually find happines. For now let your feeling go out, because accumulate feelings burns more. Talk to someone or shout it loud. In any case, don't bottle it all up.

 

[LiberoVulpesLiberoVulpes's icon]

I detest the material world, but, it is what it is.

Everything got better when I decided to dedicate myself to the pursue of gnosis, embraced absurdism, and became a daoist.

I have my ways of spiting this world, and I take a lot of joy in doing them.

 

[DjQuick2008]

Tired myself pal didnt have much motivation today till i got off my ass. but what im going to say you will either listen to or you'll hate me for it. Get up rise up never stop believing a better day is round the corner. You have something to live for something to do a purpose that you must fulfill. How do i know this because i was you and speaking the same shit over myself. YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO LIVE FOR!!!!

 

[MDGeistsfavMC5song]

Dude, that's rough. I can't imagine how you feel right now. But it isn't your fault, even if some people around you feel it is.

I had a buddy that I stopped talking to a while back. His inability to grow up, and bring himself down to other people's level instead of thinking himself to be above everyone around him became too much for me to handle. And wouldn't you know it, he still thinks I'm the one in the wrong, and to this day still pesters people close to me about it. I have half a mind to clean his clock, especially for a certain situation I won't get into out of respect, but I gotta be the bigger man. I've ignored his childish ass this long, won't change that ever.

What I'm trying to say is, people will take you for granted for as long as they know you, and will lash out when you finally decide to do what's best for you, because they cannot let go of that comfort, and their disposition to feel that they are entitled to your time, and love. Use that love for yourself, and the ones you know have your back, not on grifters that steal the life from you.

I'm really sorry you're going through what you are man, you deserve better.

whoa.. is that what I did?.. my bad. thanks for telling me.. oh.. nevermind your talking to someone else.. this was right under mine so I assumed it was me.. sorry.. carry on!

 

[Sanarchy]

i'm tired.
i'm just tired of everything, every single day i wake up thinking, "why am i still alive? what's the point of it all?".
i made one mistake and i get called selfish.

is it so bad that i had to wear a frown on my face for being asked to do something when someone else could've done it?
i just don't understand, do i have to live my life not being able to reciprocate my feelings? am i not allowed to feel anger, annoyance, frustration and sadness?
do i have to pretend like everything is fine and i should just be happy?

Every hour of my life i think about how i could just end it.
i mean how hard can it be? it should be easy, right?

But how come it's so hard? Does that mean that i have some lingering affection to this wretched hell i'm in or am i not doing it out of obligation?
i don't know anymore, i'm tired.

I've lived a replica of your exact life. I'm far away from that situation now and enjoying what little I can in peace but that permanent emotional fatigue? It haunts you forever. Not easy living with in the slightest. Not a lot of people understand how good they've got it sometimes, they can actually wake up refreshed and full of smiles.

I tried to end it before, but realized I'm too afraid to ever do so.
The lingering affection despite not knowing its source is what prevented me from doing it also, and likely yourself too if you can read this.

It gets better. Go to your local doctor / hospital and ask for an appointment for someone to listen to this. Voice it out, and they'll sort you out. Trust me, it's what I did at the brink.

 

[4C374552A1CA2638]

It gets better. Go to your local doctor / hospital and ask for an appointment for someone to listen to this. Voice it out, and they'll sort you out. Trust me, it's what I did at the brink.

Apart from this, I'd suggest trying to have a discussion with the people making you feel this way, @kokonatsu17234 . Say in clear terms how their actions are making you feel and tell them this isn't okay. It is entirely possible they're not aware of the effect of their words and actions on you, and this gives them a chance to make amends and to stop being shitheels. If they downplay your concerns or refuse to hear them or to change their behavior, then you aren't able to solve the heart of the problem and should seek help elsewhere.

But also start making plans to leave them behind. This will be difficult, and I admit this is an extreme choice, but look at the options before you now. Staying where you are makes you feel like dying, and if the people responsible aren't going to stop, you need to take actions to better yourself and get out of that environment. You do not benefit having these people in your life.