Many many symptoms in daily life recently makes me suspect that I have autism. I didn't think much of it until my wife with adhd brought up the possibility. My morning routines are about the most important part of my day, and I feel like I need them. I also live where plans change all the time and people can show up unexpectedly. So that brings a lot of anxiety and a feeling like I can't handle it in the moment. It also makes me feel like I can't relax or settle. All of that with a strong sensory sensitivity, plus fixations in my hobbies makes me wonder.
There could also be a mix of ocd in there some where. I always find myself asking similar questions at the end of the day. Or if I have a stressful event, I'll keep bringing it up.
None of this is diagnosed, but at the very least it involves a lot of anxiety. It also has made it hard to enjoy games. I quickly turn them and other hobbies into obligations. Or like, I try a game and figure out how to get past the first boss, and my brain is like, now you have to commit to this game and nothing else. Or I will want to play a game slowly, but my brain keeps reminding me where I left off and feel the need to advance or play more. Even super chill games, if they have some sort of task, I start to think on that instead of enjoying it.
Or with the fixations...I started a retro gaming website recently, learned basic coding, and added to it every day for the first week. I enjoyed it, but it also turned into something I must continue. It was something open-ended like another newly started game.
