This is an excellent question, btw.
Personally, it depends.
In general:
I don't mind challenge (Souls fan here) so long as it's fair, but I also feel people should have options if they so choose.
But... I also feel that, as a creative, the creator's intent and the environment and experience they want to create and present is equally important.
I like using Elden Ring as an example of non-linear difficulty curbing wherein there isn't a "difficulty selection" but there are ways of playing (items, weapons, etc.) that certainly make the game easier.
And also harder, if one would like.
That type of design doesn't/can't work for all games but it's a great way to go about it (provided the devs are clever enough to design it in a way that works)
As for older/"retro" games a few distinctions needs to be made:
People (adults and children alike) typically had more patience and focus for things like slower grind-yer games. That's a fact.
In general, the average person's attention span and threshold of patience and focus is WAAAAAAAY smaller, even compared to just years ago. It's just how the average person has evolved and adjusted to deal with the bombardment of information and change.
So, it makes sense that slower-paced older games may not appeal to younger peeps. The slowness can make it difficult.
There's also modern conventions to take into account:
Constant iteration and, to an extent, homogenization of ideas, themes, and mechanics have set an expectation with gamers. Up-to and through the PS2 era developers were still experimenting with mechanics and controls and weren't expected to adhere so rigidly to now normalized schemes. Thus, older games that break or, have not met these modern conventions can be "too hard" for both older and younger players.
Games from, and coming off of, the arcade-era and mindset also have the issue of pretty objectively unfair towards the player. This is intentional. Devs and publishers were trying their damnedest to separate kiddos from their quarters. There's "difficult" and then there's "predatory" some of the nastier arcade titles fall into that later category. But, on that same note, it makes it even more badass if one can master a ruthless arcade game.
And then there's the issue of games that were just buggy jank messes but somehow endured. But, sometimes bad games that are "difficult" because they're bad are fun.
So... I dunno if I answered your question.. I just kept typing, lol...
Don't worry i don't make threads to actually answer questions, just to generate discussions and see different points of view lmao.
You are the first person i've seen discussing this kind of stuff in this way here and it's exactly how i think about things.
Many of people opinions about what is considered bad, good, difficult, easy, fast or slow about games is pretty different going from a certain demographic to another, and i also think it's deeper than the way a ton of people simply regard this matter as "zoomers are dumb with low attention span" or "boomers are dumb and slow".
I think people that grew up in different periods think in different ways about games they consume because they essentially lived "different realities" economically, socially, culturally, etc. You see too much people being in this "my generation is better than yours" mindset because they simply didn't take their time to adapt to a different thing and/or have a difficult time to accept new things. This often generates a conflict of interests since the gaming community literally ranges from kids that just learned how to walk to people that are 80+ years old and have been gaming since videogames started existing.
Developers usually need to balance a creative aspect and a profitable aspect when developing their games nowadays, and it's not really easy to get this balance with different demographics, there is always a disconnection that i see more clearly in spaces with the "older gamer" demographics like in this forum compared to places were people are usually very young for example like reddit or other social media.
I'm not a developer but i often put myself in their shoes thinking "so what do i do now? the game must not be too slow and grindy for the younger generation, but also not be too fast and technically demanding for the older generation" and i understand how this can lead someone to make the game "as safe as possible" making it too homogenized and "samey" both in mechanics and pace.
Obviously, i understand that there is plenty of people from the newest generation of gamers that doesn't enjoy fast and difficult games or people from the oldschool that really loves fast-paced challenges.
In the end i kinda realized that the game being difficult or fast or slow or even "janky" is completely acceptable as long as the game manages to be fun.
That's the essence of the whole videogame thing in the end, to have fun. If you manage to implement mechanics on your game that are genuinely fun to play and genuinely engaging, most people won't care about it being difficult, grindy or technically demanding
