Wild magazine quotes

[ArchienineArchienine's icon]

Just found this and i had the urgence to share it.

From a review of Sonic Heroes by the Xbox UK magazine. Have you another one?

 

[RageBurner]

Well... that's mighty classy isn't it?

 

[SamanthaSamantha's icon]

I remember this one from reading it as a younger lad:

"This game is so insanely complicated that only the most elite and expert players will be able to finish it without asking for hints or consulting strategy guides" ~ A gaming magazine on Indiana Jones and the Fate of Atlantis (1992).

 

[ArchienineArchienine's icon]

I remember this one from reading it as a younger lad:

Not wild for me but ok.

 

[SamanthaSamantha's icon]

Not wild for me but ok.

The implication is that they were low-key calling all players 'stupid' for not being able to figure out a game the editorial staff seemed to be struggling with. I found it AVGN-worthy.

 

[RageBurner]

I'm pretty sure most magazine game reviewers were actually terrible players; their "reports" mostly served as indirect advertisement that game publishers were all too happy to make use of on the cheap. Remember Rise of the Robots? I rest my case.

 

[Heidegger of Shinra]

UK game magazines were awesome in the 90's and 2000's, I used to collect them. They are probably landfill now, but I could have pulled up a few quotes like this.

 

[Evaccaneer Doom]

Just found this and i had the urgence to share it.
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From a review of Sonic Heroes by the Xbox UK magazine. Have you another one?

Most wild thing from this quote is then casually mentioning their thoughts on Cream lmao

 

[DayBreak_Illusion]

Nothing will ever top Command and Conquer ads its so outrageous, I might even add Dead Space 2 ads from TV as well.

 

[Scotty Scotty]

I discovered those magazine pages about a year or two ago. That Cream bit is WILD considering that she's canonically 8 years old.

 

[SamanthaSamantha's icon]

Nothing will ever top Command and Conquer ads its so outrageous, I might even add Dead Space 2 ads from TV as well.


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Those are a great time capsule...

... From when people could actually take a joke.

 

[Deleted member 913503]

This one was always my favorite ad for PSO. It was a 2 page spread.

 

[DayBreak_Illusion]

 

[Frickinfrik]

God that Xbox UK Sonic Heroes article make me want to be unalive. Such diabolical shit.

 

[SamanthaSamantha's icon]

I'm pretty sure most magazine game reviewers were actually terrible players; their "reports" mostly served as indirect advertisement that game publishers were all too happy to make use of on the cheap. Remember Rise of the Robots? I rest my case.

Their job was to get pretty screenshots to hype up the game at-hand and little else — I remember some begging CodeMasters for cheat codes because they couldn't get past the first level in one of their games.

 

[Spyrone]

These insane quotes are one of the best things about gaming magazines back in the Aughts- they were hilarious. I particularly remember EGM being filled with snide gold. Shit like this-

"Why do you feel the need to sexualize a game about half-naked men who shoot rockets out of their crotches and dry-hump each other? It's Japanese, they can be weird."
- EGM Staff Response to Fan Mail confused about why Choaniki: Great Brother exists

"STREET FIGHTER 2010: THE FINAL FIGHT

EARTHDEATH CORPSEDAY: Four years from now

OUR FATE: Awesome cyboplasm enhanced street combat

PROPHETIC ACCURACY: 3 WATERWORLD DRAGONS

By the end of next year, a street fighter named Ken will invent cyboplasm. In small doses, it can give you an edge in a fight. Take too much, and it turns you into a scorpion monster, maybe. The prophecy has some holes in it. Now, you do stand a chance if you teleport to other planets and street fight. Four years isn't a lot of time to prepare, but think about it- by then you'll have survived killer boy robots, lethal reality TV, Aerosmith's freedom rock and one helluva faceballing. If we're not ready by then, screw it- we deserve extinction."
- shitpost reviewer Seanbaby on terrible games (and Smash TV) that predicted future dystopia.

Man, digging through scans of EGM made my eyes wet with nostalgia. I'm gonna go play Chibi-Robo now and pretend I don't live in a cyberpunk dystopia yet...

 

[Haruki]

Well looks like a 15~25 age humor, maybe the editor was a adolescent too?

 

[PSVitaForever]

I used to buy a Nintendo magazine when ds/wii came out, but I honestly don't remember anything remarkable. From these posts here and older threads I've seen about Nintendo advertisings, lots of phrases/pictures from years ago would never be created today: too much "politically incorrect" lol

 

[Spyrone]

Well looks like a 15~25 age humor, maybe the editor was a adolescent too?

Maybe humor is subjective- some people (like me) find things like ATHF, South Park, Monty Python and Twisted Metal funny despite their juvenile nature. Others apparently consistently find stuff like Scrubs, Young Sheldon, Reba, and The Cosby Show to be funny. I have no idea what's wrong with them. :p

 

[Ikagura]

Well... I don't miss everything from that era.

I like unhinged things but this was quite uncalled for especially when it's aimed at kids.

Post automatically merged: Apr 18, 2026

This one was always my favorite ad for PSO. It was a 2 page spread.
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That render of the Dragon is still iconic (and I find it well animated for its time).

I have a small preference towards the Japanese magazine ad but both are good

"There are things you can't do alone".
The Humar is saying: "I shouldn't have come alone" and "bigger than I thought".

 

[X y b e r - S k u ll]

 

[Juiceala]

I discovered those magazine pages about a year or two ago. That Cream bit is WILD considering that she's canonically 8 years old.

 

[Scotty Scotty]

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My point still stands. Them writing "We prefer Cream nowadays" is super weird.

 

[SamanthaSamantha's icon]

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Funny as hell, but I'm glad that particular thing is in the past...

 

[Deleted member 913503]

My point still stands. Them writing "We prefer Cream nowadays" is super weird.

it's making fun of Sonic fans calling them furries/perverts/pedophiles. It was the era of mocking anyone who liked Sonic like with ChrisChan, AKnotholeResident, SammyClassicSonicFan, ect. It doesn't help that Babysitting Cream (a sick perverted light novel game where Sonic and Cream do gross things together) got a lot of attention from trolls. I mean you still have streamers on Twitch mocking the series like everyone on Vinesauce and Game Grumps.