Random Wife is opening my sealed games to get "high" off the new game smell. This is costing me 1000s in market value. How do I get her a replacement fix?

[Antilocal123]

Channel your inner OJ Simpson, you know what to do.

 

[Don Patch]

uhh... at this point chew toys?

And actual answer:
I mean, if the plan is to sell these things (market value and whatnot) I say just go ahead and sell them already, jah?
Retro this-and-that's are at their peak price-wise.

Elsewise, if the goal is to simply keep them, what does the alleged "value" mean, anyways?

 

[HawkR]

"Things you can say about your wife, but not your St. Bernard."

 

[CaptainToad]

The bitewound is *still* not healing, or at least not as usual. And it's all weird.

I awoke from last night with chunks missing out of my sealed copy of Cubivore. And it couldn't have been the wife because the bedroom door was still locked with her on the other side. No idea what this will do to the resale value.

View attachment v94pxe4rcc0d1.webp
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And everything in my house *except* my games smells bad now.

I don't know what to do.

 

[DunkeyKong]

The bitewound is *still* not healing, or at least not as usual. And it's all weird.
View attachment 36671

I awoke from last night with chunks missing out of my sealed copy of Cubivore. And it couldn't have been the wife because the bedroom door was still locked with her on the other side. No idea what this will do to the resale value.
View attachment 36673
View attachment 36674
View attachment 36675
And everything in my house *except* my games smells bad now.

I don't know what to do.

That bite mark looks MASSIVE bro

 

[trickybus]

The bitewound is *still* not healing, or at least not as usual. And it's all weird.
View attachment 36671

I awoke from last night with chunks missing out of my sealed copy of Cubivore. And it couldn't have been the wife because the bedroom door was still locked with her on the other side. No idea what this will do to the resale value.
View attachment 36673
View attachment 36674
View attachment 36675
And everything in my house *except* my games smells bad now.

I don't know what to do.

• Gather some stationary and start composing cryptic notes regarding resale value, ROI spreadsheets and eBay.
• Check if your houseplants are medicinal. Chew on a leaf for a few minutes, then apply the green goo to your wound. If your throat hasn't closed up after 20 minutes, it's not poisonous.
• You got doors in your house? Got keys to those doors? Scatter your surviving collection into these makeshift vaults and hide the keys. Get creative: behind a grandfather clock; inside a locked jewelry box; under a beehive. Can your wife play Moonlight Sonata?
• Take any spare ammo you have and scatter them randomly about the house. No reason, just seems like a good idea.

 

[Antihero]

Man! Those bite marks are scary, Have you been feeding a T-rex! , this ain't funny anymore, hope you find a peaceful solution!

 

[Gold]

I'm not sure this is a healthy marriage.

 

[BunnyLain]

Buy her a steam deck, the fumes that come off that are way better than any new car smell.

 

[Aisf]

Get her a sealed copy of the worst game you can think of and give it to her (bonus points if the game is actually worth a lot)

 

[RanmyakuIchi's iconRanmyakuIchi]

Sick your hitman husband on her.