Random Wife is opening my sealed games to get "high" off the new game smell. This is costing me 1000s in market value. How do I get her a replacement fix?

[CaptainToad]

Tried giving her the EarthBound strategy guide with the scatch & sniff smells but she wasn't into it. Tried ggiving her sealed copies of Madden but she said it didn't smell premium enough for her.

 

[goregoregoregoregoregore]

Join her, that's what all the gamers are doing these days, it will give you less 1ms of brain input lag.
Well, i say this if you don't count the epidemic of reverse dibbing("dribing" for some), which is way worse tbh

 

[CaptainToad]

Just tried taking from her my sealed copy of Kuon (£1000) and she bit me.

 

[XXX]

Tried giving her the EarthBound strategy guide with the scatch & sniff smells but she wasn't into it. Tried ggiving her sealed copies of Madden but she said it didn't smell premium enough for her.

Didn't smell premium enough? ?

Post automatically merged: Mar 3, 2025

Just tried taking from her my sealed copy of Kuon (£1000) and she bit me.
View attachment 36022

Wtf.
Dude, you got a dog, not wife.

 

[goregoregoregoregoregore]

Just tried taking from her my sealed copy of Kuon (£1000) and she bit me.
View attachment 36022

I think you are in one of those situations that most men have to pass sometime in life in which they need to assert dominance by pissing all over their belongings and barking around the house

 

[for.we.are.many]

Replace wife

 

[Graw]

Just tried taking from her my sealed copy of Kuon (£1000) and she bit me.
View attachment 36022

She's got a big mouth dude.

 

[medisinn]

Um, what? Is this a weird meme or something? If it is in fact legit, I'd be curious if this has happened before, it seems very random. Perhaps point out to the wife that these expensive, sealed games are a retirement account of sorts, and that opening them kills their value? Although, reading it again, the comment about sealed copies of Madden not smelling premium enough does make me confident this is a shitpost. Oh well.

 

[Sir Auriel of Lionel]

Have you tried books? Game manuals and complete guides have a smell like no other thanks to the glossy printing. I just got a sealed Tactics Ogre artbook and man that's high or is is the art? Used ones still have a smell.

 

[TotzOnGaming]

Just tried taking from her my sealed copy of Kuon (£1000) and she bit me.

Great Game! I beat it a few months back. Creepy Atmosphere and Setting.

 

[Zachery2112]

I would just cut your losses and get a new wife. I've heard that some places will give you in-store credit for trade-ins so look for a place like that. Just avoid mentioning the case-smelling thing, that would tank the value and get you less credit. Just say you're looking for something new and don't get specific if the cashier asks any questions. Also, if you buy one that's used, make sure the smell isn't off. That's a tell-tale that you've been ripped off. Real wives smell like vanilla and lavender.

 

[DunkeyKong]

I'm a bit concerned and worried, I hope nothing worse is happening, please be safe

 

[Evaccaneer Doom]

Just tried taking from her my sealed copy of Kuon (£1000) and she bit me.
View attachment 36022

You know at that point, I'd jus let her be

Post automatically merged: Mar 3, 2025

jokes aside, this is very odd and I don't really know what to say

 

[CaptainToad]

I can hear my wife clawing at my Elemental Gearbolt Assassins Case (£3000 value, not sure if it's ever been opened) I have stowed in the closet. Told her to go to bed but she said she couldn't sleep because it was 'that time of the month' for her. I don't believe that causes gamer withdrawls, but OK.

The bite on my hand has started to itch and doesn't appear to be healing. Keeping my sealed copy of Cubivore, my most prized possession, close to my chest. Even the outer vacuum-sealed packaging smells good. Smells really good, actually.

I'm scared.

 

[Sir Auriel of Lionel]

Itchy, tasty?

 

[Pjira]

Have you considered putting her down?

 

[DunkeyKong]

I can hear my wife clawing at my Elemental Gearbolt Assassins Case (£3000 value, not sure if it's ever been opened) I have stowed in the closet. Told her to go to bed but she said she couldn't sleep because it was 'that time of the month' for her. I don't believe that causes gamer withdrawls, but OK.

The bite on my hand has started to itch and doesn't appear to be healing. Keeping my sealed copy of Cubivore, my most prized possession, close to my chest. Even the outer vacuum-sealed packaging smells good. Smells really good, actually.

I'm scared.

Damn bro, I honestly don't know what to say. But now I'm getting more worried

 

[sunofpearl89]

A Steam Deck might keep her at bay, with the fresh vent smell and all.

 

[glokglakglak]

what the fuck am i reading ???

 

[Mr. Daddy]

Have you considered putting her down?

 

[NemissaFotia]

Girls can't have hobbies anymore without being shamed for it smh

 

[Prism_Red]

Get even, undress her and take a whiff.

 

[Stookymalarkey]

Have you considered airplane glue as a substitute?

 

[fake-kun]

I think the OP is making shit up for giggles.

 

[ATenderLad]

Well their last thread was about the husband using the wife as a test case for their assassination side gig, so this is probably ironic comeuppance.

He's fine, there's money in murder. Tear open everything you see honey, we're all rooting for you!