WHO THE HELL IS MIKE!?

[RanmyakuIchi's icon RanmyakuIchi RanmyakuIchi]

RIP Mike, he never got to show Leon that good bar

 

[Samatonic Samatonic]

Someone called.

 

[Octopus]

Mike ruined my life. You may think this is a joke, but I am dead serious. Years ago, I was going through hard times. I was addicted to eating coral, I had no underwater job and no underwater house. I was living in a run down plastic bottle under a couple of rocks, fighting off sea anemones every night just for a spot to sleep. It was brutal. Do you know who put me there? Mike. He conned me with a scam investment, tricked me into dumping all my underwater money into sham companies he ran. My octopus wife left me, she took our clutch of like a hundred eggs. When I found out, I confronted him. Guess who was there? My octopus wife. He couldn't even breathe underwater, I don't even know what he was doing there. He beat me up then, repeatedly telling me "you can't tussle with my muscle", and "you're done like calamari, Octopus" despite me not being a fucking squid. Lost the use of 7 of my 8 tentacles that night, they still ache when the wind blows. They never healed right. Found out later that none of the clutch even hatched, which to be fair is really common. I turned to drink first, then in days I was snorting coral alongside some untrustworthy seals. All because of Mike. Do you know what Mike did after? I don't know, I was too frightened of him to follow up. I hate Mike, he ruined my life.

 

[Poppet]

Ask Togore

 

[qw90700]

Okay okay I'll get serious and honestly explain who "Mike" is:

Mike is me but also not me. Mike is you but also not you. Mike is everyone but also not everyone. There is actually a movie about it called "Being John Mikeovich" and it explains everything so ready your popcorn and geronimo to an adventure whoooooooop!!!!:

lolol

 

[J.B’s rabbit den]

There’s a lot of Mikes in the world so…

 

[secreto7]

Where in the world is Mike Sandiego?
Where's Mikeldo?

 

[Clippy]

 

[VampireLord1024VampireLord1024's icon]

Mike as in Michelangelo the turtle from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles or Mike Wazowski from Monsters, Inc.?

 

[Ikagura Ikagura]

The guy behind the couch in AVGN?