The importance of a nice, firm handshake

[Waffles's iconWaffles]

A few years ago, I took to interviewing some nice Polish people while in the process of writing a research paper. Needless to say, the interviews happened almost entirely in English, despite my attempts at speaking their language and their encouragement whenever I got something right (which wasn't all that often, but I did leave those chats learning how to have some basic conversations, do my groceries, tell my phone number and, ironically enough, ask locals if they spoke English).

These people were all extremely helpful, and we grew quite close while the process lasted... which inevitably led to messing about instead of working, a tale as old and time.

And messing about, we did.

They eventually taught me how to swear and become an Honorary Polish Smartass with amusing phrases and idioms.

However, the one that caught my attention was one that roughly translated to: "like holding a dead fish" and was used when someone didn't return a strong handshake.

At first, I was ready to dismiss it as "colorful old world lingo"... But the more I thought about it, the more sense it made. And I started paying a lot of attention to how people shake hands.

A surprising number of people did exactly what I feared: returned a lukewarm, barely touching one that came across as dismissive across the board. I have since begun to associate those with being insincere (or at least uninterested on the other person). Now, everyone else returned a nice, firm, thundering one that I love and makes me want to keep doing business with them.

What do you think? Do you pay attention to handshakes and how they are returned? I didn't before, but now it's something I pay attention to.

Seeking knowledge got me knowledge -- who would have thought!

 

[ThirteeTooBeets]

I don't have much of a chance to exchange handshakes on my daily life (we both know that's not our usual way to greet eachother here ), but whenever I can I like when it feels firm and with agood grasp. Now that you mention it, not putting in the effort whould be like not returning a hug, feels a bit disrespectful

 

[TheReal_TomokoKuroki]

I can't say I pay attention to every handshake I receive, but I make it a point to give as firm a handshake as I can give at every opportunity. I was told it's a sign of respect, and you can make the older generation respect you infinitely more if you do that one simple thing.
I remember once, when I was a teen, I gave my friend's parent's friend a handshake and he started cracking jokes at how firm it was. I won't give the extent of them- I'll just say, they equated my grip on their hand to the grip of.... something else. Very embarrassing!

Ever still. I appreciate a firm handshake when I get one. That, and a bright smile can make my day.

 

[longestseason]

I do pay attention to them, however the kind of handshake I receive does not matter to me. I don't like when people act like it's a big deal when someone doesn't return a strong handshake and start making assumptions, it just feels wrong to me. I gotta admit that I return those kind of disinterested handshakes sometimes, mostly to people I don't like, but I also do it with people I appreciate, although in those cases it's more of a "gentle" handshake. That's pretty much why I refuse to make assumptions about handshakes, because I believe no one will ever guess (correctly) what kind of person every individual is just based on that. I respect your perspective though.

 

[cjl8336 cjl8336]

 

[ObscureJigglypuff]

Now that i'm the vice president of the wiwi cult i got instructions of give firm handshakes to others cult leaders but, i just can't. Mine are Micro/soft since the beginning of times.

 

[ThirteeTooBeets]

was thinking about that too lol

 

[Waffles's iconWaffles]

It does feel very disrespectful coming from someone asking to lead you.

Mike Judge writes the smartest things despite disguising them as idiocy -- I love him so much XD

 

[Tonberry]

I don't think I put much thought into the other person's handshake outside of the very moment they happen, but I am definitely a handshake person.

I try to make it a point to greet every new person I meet with a handshake, as I think it's a very good and clear way to be deliberate about wanting to introduce yourself to someone, and to exchange names. I'd like to believe that my own handshake is decent enough, haha.
Though I feel like I'm usually the one to initiate (I'm the oldest of my siblings, so I hang out alot with younger people), and it's moreso that I think it's important to myself because simply I want to properly greet and introduce myself to people, because I don't like the awkward "oh shit I didn't even get this person's name properly" feeling, even though I'm very casual and mellow generally.

Nowadays I'm usually the friend of someone, or the sibling of someone, when meeting new people, so it's almost always a third person there who is the "catalyst" for the meeting I guess, which kind of just makes the need to personally greet people even more so that I'm not just exclusively the friend/sibling of the mutual person.

 

[bjork]

The move is to use a normal amount of grip and I appreciate when people know this. If they use too little, it's like shaking hands with a stuffed animal or something. If they use too much, it's almost like trying to establish dominance with short dick energy. Just be in the middle, it's ok.

 

[CheesyExplosive]

Handshakes are too blunderous & terrifying in my case, i'll just give a "thumbs up" if they don't do the same then they're not safe on my terms.

 

[Sheepy765]

Firm handshakes are difficult for me, I know I should give a firm handshake but everyone whose hands I shake are significantly stronger than I am.

 

[Retro Doomer]

Can't remember when I shacked someones hand who is not a family member.

(just a funny random gif for some reason)

I am not really that built so I am not sure how I would feel about a Handshake overall
I dislike feeling weak and most conversations I have don't end in any physical contact at all its
often just a small talk and bye I don't even know the names of the pople I am the living
stereotype man can hang out for hours and don't know each others names and if we meet again its
fate as we don't exchange contacts huh.

 

[DinoRexMax]

I'd rather crush all the bones in my bosses hand than give him a limp wristed handshake. I don't care who you are, if I can't feel my metacarpals cracking I don't trust you.

So, repeat after me...

 

[Zerohour2k12]

I usually do first-bump but handshake is great on formal stuff.

Surprised no one put the Arnie-Weathers handshake Gif yet.

 

[Stingy Perry Stingy Perry]

To some cultures a handshake isn’t just a simple gesture but a sign of camaraderie. They can tell how enthusiastic you are just by observing your grip.

 

[PSVitaForever]

A few years ago, I took to interviewing some nice Polish people while in the process of writing a research paper. Needless to say, the interviews happened almost entirely in English, despite my attempts at speaking their language and their encouragement whenever I got something right (which wasn't all that often, but I did leave those chats learning how to have some basic conversations, do my groceries, tell my phone number and, ironically enough, ask locals if they spoke English).

These people were all extremely helpful, and we grew quite close while the process lasted... which inevitably led to messing about instead of working, a tale as old and time.

And messing about, we did.

They eventually taught me how to swear and become an Honorary Polish Smartass with amusing phrases and idioms.

However, the one that caught my attention was one that roughly translated to: "like holding a dead fish" and was used when someone didn't return a strong handshake.

At first, I was ready to dismiss it as "colorful old world lingo"... But the more I thought about it, the more sense it made. And I started paying a lot of attention to how people shake hands.

A surprising number of people did exactly what I feared: returned a lukewarm, barely touching one that came across as dismissive across the board. I have since begun to associate those with being insincere (or at least uninterested on the other person). Now, everyone else returned a nice, firm, thundering one that I love and makes me want to keep doing business with them.

What do you think? Do you pay attention to handshakes and how they are returned? I didn't before, but now it's something I pay attention to.

Seeking knowledge got me knowledge -- who would have thought!

My Mom told me about handshakes when I was little, I'm not sure if the phrase is the same but this one "holding a dead fish" says exactly what she meant :)
I always try to give a strong and good handshake from that moment.

 

[RanmyakuIchi's icon RanmyakuIchi RanmyakuIchi]

While I do appreciate a firm handshake and always try to give one, some people tend to think that firm handshake means "Try to crush the other person's hand to dust" and I find that even more rude/disrespectful then a limp handshake.

A firm handshake is a sign of respect, while a "crushing" handshake feels like an attempt to flaunt power or control over someone, or an early warning that the person might be a little egotistical imo.