Twinkle Tale!...the hell didn’t they call it Lustrous Legend or Brilliant Gemstone Witch?
I’d never heard of this before hitting the random game button the other day, is this what the old guys at the beach with the metal detectors feel like? This was made by ZAP, who before this mostly handled ports of other games, like Will Wright’s Raid on Bungeling Bay for the MSX. It’s a top down, scrolling shooter that reminds me of nothing so much as Legend of Valkyrie.
Also, this thing is
expensive.
It’s fine, I didn’t want a flashy wedding anyways.
The intro sets the tone as a kind of fairy tale, and it’s pretty straightforward. Wizards for every color, each has an infinity gem to match, a little mage named Saria needs to visit them all and mollywop the one stealing the magic rocks, lest he unleash the
Kaiser Demon! (Dope name, actually.)
Here’s an odd note. I went looking for old magazines hoping to get some background on the game, and found a review from Sega Pro no. 12, 1992. It starts:
Twinkle was at home with her granny, and being a good little witch was hard at work practicing her spell casting.
“Now then young Twinkle, what goes Into the cauldron after the hogs’ warts, eh?” demanded the old hag.
“Could it be the banyan root, Granny?” she guessed.
“No, no, no, you foolish young witch. If you do that, you’ll have a disappearing potion instead of your favourite hogs’ warts soup. Here let me continue with the recipe!” And with that, she brushed Twinkle aside. Fortunate indeed tor the young novice witch, as a whirlwind appeared right there and then, just where she’d been standing, and sucked the wizened old crone away!
Twinkle was just able to hear her Grandmother’s voice as she was dizzily carried away. “Find me in the Castle of the Dark Oneee.!”
And then all was silent..
The reviewer, going by “Macbeth” (!) didn't know Japanese, and came up with that charming story instead. Even better, he references the grandma and calls the protagonist Twinkle multiple times in the review, and never clarifies that it’s his invention! The closest they come is this line near the end:
Twinkle isn’t the most original of games, but its a competent fusion of several that have gone before. I really enjoyed playing it, frustrating as it was. Satisfying is the word that automatically springs to mind when a game’s in progress, and the whole package is only marginally flawed by the Japanese text, which isn’t necessary to the game anyway. If you haven’t yet purchased Undeadline, then why not try Twinkle Tale instead? Its on a par with the former, and mighty pleasant it is too!
Emphasis mine, marginally flawed was a wild way to say “I can’t read this.”
I assume this shot of an ominous sky is where Macbeth got the whirlwind idea from. Amazing!
You can Shoot, Bomb, and Switch Spells. Movement works in 8 directions, Namco 3D fighter-style, and you should stay moving. You get three different spells to shoot with:
They each have three levels of strength, but the game is very generous with power-ups. You lose a level in your equipped spell when you take a hit, so get used to changing it up on the fly. The scattershot stars do more damage, but the homing orbs let you deal damage while focusing on dodging, you don’t have to risk damage to deal it. Big enemies should be whacked with your laser when you have opportunities for big damage, like slow monsters or using a bomb for cover.
You can hold up to three bombs, also found regularly. One is a full screen blast of fire, the other is a pulsing light orb that swirls around dealing multiple concentrated hits. The latter is your highest damage in the game, and speeds up boss fights. There's a slight delay to use it, but the safest bet is always to beat bosses as fast as possible.
Speaking of, here’s the first one. I believe Shinji Mikami invented these “chimera” creatures for a puzzle in Resident Evil 4? I read it about in a book. Like a nerd!
Interesting bit about the bosses, Saria stays locked facing the top of the screen, so you can strafe and shoot freely. Very helpful, like the reverse of The Guardian Legend on the NES, where you started top down shooter, then transitioned to free movement.
After the first forest, you transition to a castle, slightly tougher enemies, and a much more impressive looking boss.
“They wanted double for the moat, I told ‘em do pigs fly? They do when I tell them to, because I’m a wizard with magic *and* accounting. No deal.”
The guys a chump, waste him.
Really, just stick to the bottom of the screen and get away from him when he goes still, he's gonna try to grab you.
This might just be me, but do these sprites kinda look like the ones from 7th Saga?
Get used to hearing this, everyone's fine, but they kept handing over their magic jewels. Apparently the fighting is left to gullible apprentices.
The next stage steps up the difficulty with the first stage hazard: SKYBRIDGE bay-BEE
Ordinarily you’d just hug the edges as you traverse something like this in a game. Not here, Saria trusts the player too damn much, and will walk her happy ass into certain death at your urging. Step carefully then, you capricious god you, and let’s see what the guardian of this land looks li-
oh fuck me WHY DOES IT LOOK LIKE THAT
This terror is a touch tougher as a boss, as you have to across the center of the screen to bait out his HYPER BEAM and expose his weak point, but just stick to the strafing back and forth and be mindful of a second phase where he starts telegraphing underground vine attacks.
I won’t lie, from here on out it gets tougher. The next stage starts throwing much faster projectiles at you, fast enough that you can’t expect to easily avoid them. Your best bet will be slowing down, and taking out enemies meticulously as they appear. You do get an extra bar of health for every level you clear though, which helps.
I didn't take a picture of the fourth boss, because it’s big ass spider. I’m happy its dead. He’s actually easy to kill though, a step back from the previous tree. Just stay at the bottom and he can barely hit you.
The Donut Ghost House was in our budget, but the HOA was a nightmare.
Another jump in difficulty, stage five is a pitch black maze with narrow passages and annoying ghosts. I found myself starting to use the scattershot stars here, the homing orbs weren’t clearing enemies fast enough. Start saving bombs for bosses only, and probably the light orb bomb to maximize damage. This level also has two very different phases. The first boss looks like this:
Just keep moving, he jumps off screen and lands directly where you’re standing. It splits in two, use a bomb to kill one quickly and keep things manageable.
The level transitions to a bright fire cave/temple, where you need to walk very carefully. The floor is *literally* lava. Again, take your time, let the homing orbs clear your path.
A Gleeok? In this economy?!
Each head attacks, and the head on the right is dangerous. The heads die fast to a bomb, but they regrow after a beat. Pace out your bomb uses and you keep from getting overwhelmed.
Stage six takes us to yet another castle, this time along the parapets before descending into the dungeons.
Pictured here: Dumbasses.
These Hammer Bros attack crazy fast if you move below them. Hilariously though, near as I can tell, they can’t attack horizontally at all. Walk up next to them and shoot, and go about your day.
There's a wizard mini-boss of sorts in the dungeon, he shoots a near instant lightning bolt straight down when you pass under him. Angle him out with the homing shot, then break out the holy water.
Thanks for ensuring this game didn’t get localized, Big Bad Baphomet
This asshole is tough. The pentagrams block shots, and his homing mirror shots are tough to dodge cleanly. Again, your best bet is big light orb bombs covering you while you hammer him. Kill it fast, get aggressive.
...annnnd oh shit character limits!
.
.