my opinion/take on why women and men, are forgetting how to interact with each other

Jotaro

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what i am going to say, is my own, unfiltered opinion, it aint toxic masculinity or anything, everyone has his own way, of flirting with women, i aint trying to brag, or make anyone, feel offended, just wanted to be clear

i am hearing from friends saying, that either men dont hit on women, like they used to do, or women are to ''prideful'' to make the first move, and dont want to ruin their ego, by giving a chance to a gai, she deep inside, likes, and always awaits from him to make the first move

now, body language hints, exist, they social cues, they hints, that women give, when they want men to approach them, most of the times though, most of the doods, cant get them signs, and they mistake them, if you pay attention to her, from the way she looks, plays with her hair, points at you, even the way, she speaks at you, the tone, and all, you can clearly tell, if she is into you, after all, you need the attraction, the spark, when you desire someone

first its outer appearance, lets not joke ourselves, after that, if you decide to be with each other and get in a relationship, then you learn, his personality, inner character/traits, etc

most of the times, i make the first move, its 2 options, you score, or you get denied, even before being in relationships with chicks, i got denied, several times, so what? and? life goes, i move on, so simple, it needs lot of exercise, but confidence and inner willpower, are real, you need to not be clingy, you need to be strong, for you first, and trust me, women like it too, when a man, even at his worst, can still stay chill/focused

back to the topic, why women are wasting a good chance of finding someone they like, by denying it, and waiting for the dood to approach first, like, each of us, dont own each other, anything, from the first moment, the eyes connect, you will get it, if the attraction exists

just like how chicks, like a normal and proper approach, thats how men like from women as well, not the cringe, not the creepy approach

flirt, like a proper human, day game exists, if you learn how interacting looks like, it aint disturbing to go to somebody, and say hi, or introduce yourself, if u notice, the hints are positive, thats why the saying, learn to read the room, exists

gotta say, the past 5 years after the cvirus, it became downgrade on that part, because, most of the people, find affect on the internet, on a fake reality, and trying to find peace on lies

so yeah, a good flirt, always can make us, feel good, or flattered, for both genders, that goes

i know, life aint easy, its difficult for each of us, but you can find ways to make it easier, internet is just a ''hobby'', we must learn to live, in reality

🤷‍♂️
 
Flirting is much easier when the person you are flirting with finds you attractive, otherwise it's awkward and the person you're flirting with feels awkward and embarrassed. This works for either person flirting, in general mutual attraction makes relationships much easier, at least to start, personality compatibility is another issue and that determines the outcome long term. There's such thing as people being together 20+ years and still finding each other just as attractive as when they met, but it's the remaining ability to be compatible that determined that.

The issue in dating arises when there's no spark and people try it anyway, doesn't work out. Money isn't attractive, some people are surprised when that leads to a hollow relationship with zero intimacy.

Cold approaching doesn't really work, it can but that's very rare, almost all relationships started through a shared circle of some kind in communities, friend of a friend, some sort of activity club etc. This is how most relationships started for a very long time.

Dating apps have flat out ruined human courtship, anyone can look great in a photo but it skips the spark and leads to largely awkward hook ups, and in general dating apps aren't dong too well anymore as people abandon them in favour of being single.

Dating is very simple, two people, mutual attraction, compatible worldview and personality is all that's required, but it's like winning a lottery with how many people there is, and how different we can all be.
 
Honestly this is not a gender but culture thing. For example in my country both men and women are the one who approaches but we don't have flirt BS, instead people go honest with each other. For us friendship is similar too, so we are like "I like you so do you wanna be my friend" and then "sure buddy" or "nah let's stay as non-enemy instead" lol. Usually it happens in a way we have a "moment" and one of us declares "you are my friend now, I'll go to hell with you!!!!" *drama over 9000* lol. How people start dating is very similar to this here. But then relationships are so natural people can assume shit like "I thought we are friends" and "dude I thought we dating for 3 years!!!" lol. I half joke and half serious.

The first and last time I had a "GF" it was in highschool and I had no idea about it. This BS happened in this "random" way:

I was talking with me friend and we were kinda so focused on whatever BS we talking about, but then I noticed a pencil dropped and rolled under me. It was that clear for me by luck. So I automatically grabbed the pencil and I was about to check in with the people sit in front of me but they were absent, and then a person sitting next to me said "oh it's my pencil", I didn't even notice who that was. Me and my friend was talking in so focused way!!! So I gave the pencil and forgot what just happened a few second ago.

Then IDK like 2 weeks later I was talking with me friends and then I heard my name (my name being rather rare here, and it was a very old word used long time ago to mean a type of military unit in the old language) I was like "dude either they talking about me or they reading the national anthem aloud!!!" but it turned out it was about me. So I noticed some girls talking about me but one particular girl was like pointing at me and saying "he is my boyfriend" and girls were like "who cares". I was like this:

gokusrs.gif


I approached the girl with question mark eyes and I was like this:

holdup.jpg

I asked her WTF she talking about, she said "BF, I was telling them you are mine so they shouldn't even look at you!!!" so I was like:

nani.jpg


I grabbed the girl and took her out of the classroom to some private place and asked what she mean. It turned out the pencil was hers and she thought me giving her pencil back meant "I care about her so much I'm in love so otherwise I wouldn't even notice the existence of the pencil". I was so angry instead of facepalming normally I hit my head in confusion and it was super effective. So I kindly told her she was dead wrong and me BF of no one and then she cried so hard people were like "dude he beat the girl!!!" and girls in the class was "damn he is a creep" and then next day she didn't come to school and then we learned she changed the school kinda made rumors about me the worst kind of shit and people love rumor here. It went from simple breakup to "r-word" attempt (word is censored due to sensitivity here) but in general no one cared about it long because she was weird so they kinda believed about my side of the story.

But I guess I kinda learned even acting like the opposite sex exists can make people confused, so IDK I started to act minimally normal and not even friendly toward the opposite sex per se. So naturally I did have friends but I did limit my "friendship" with them and didn't even go above of how friends really is.

I can "look good in a certain light" and my spontaneous gags for fun can make people feel like I care about their existence enough to joke with them and "love them" but in reality I'm such a people's person and extrovert AF, so kinda gotta be careful not breaking young girls' heart so gotta do think twice heee heee lolol. So even I don't try to smile at the opposite sex because I don't wanna be joker and making my made-up smiles break their hearts!!!

horse smile.gif

And when it comes to me men friends I take them to nice places to eat like award winning ones and when it comes to women friends I just take them to an honest place like McDonald's!!!! lolol
 
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What a story, mark
 
I just think that the topic of men and women has simply developed apart. Of course everyone wants a perfect relationship but they are not willing to do anything about it. I gave up on this topic a long time ago because there is simply no point in thinking about such things.
 
perfect relationship
That's rather complex topic. For lots of people, people are so expandable because "half of the planet is da opposite sex", but then when you start to meet with new people (not necessarily for dating) you realize everyone have bad aspects then it can make you feel like "wow everyone is like a South Park character!!!" then this is when people can lose their patience and find the most submissive weak ass people they can find to adjust their personality to their liking and this likely fails because people will always find a way to be themselves, then people either give up or gets mature into realization of everyone will have bad and good aspects, what matters is if their bad aspects a big deal or trivial and start to appreciate what positive they have really matters. And then of course being a family person, having common sense and economical concerns are a thing but trying to find "best of the best" is a pointless life waster thing. However it's useful. It's better than getting married to a person you really don't know, and when you realize the person is a red flag in unmanageable way it's nothing wrong to bail out. Loyalty and honor is important but no one should assume to be life coach and therapist of the other person. I see this "partnership" aspect in literally meaning valuable to consider when it comes to love. If a person cannot make me better or she drags me down honestly that love is cursed so I'll call a witcher!!! lol
 
I think it's also the point of a relationship doesn't come from preestablished ones as much anymore, both sides are afraid to lose what friendship they have for a romantic one because they don't want to lose that comfy space of hiding someone that gets you. Not to mention where do you meet someone that wants to be in a relationship? Dating apps, for all the crime and pain they've brought to both sides they do something most are afraid to do, set the stage of wanting a relationship without allowing either side to misunderstand that someone is just nice or wondering someone is interested in you. You both are parties looking for something you can't say your native circles without either jeopardizing your comfort, making you look too forward, show actively looking for someone (that your peers might equate with desperation) or lose a friend. There's also the weird problem of romance requiring you to flirt with the idea of falling in love with a stranger for the mystic before getting to know who they are tears that fantasy apart. The more you know the more you would weigh against the idea of romance/chase fantasy than the idea of trying to build and change the relationship itself.
 
I think the age of dating apps has killed the thrill of the chase -- I remember risking huge embarrassment (or even retaliation) when flirting with girls I liked, but now it's all done over soulless text that's easy to fake until the hook is in.

It's no wonder people no longer know how to flirt... How could they? They can't look each other in the eye anymore.
 
Before this thread could get locked maybe it's because of the amount of guys that are potential predators or something.

You can never be too cautious nowadays.
 
The concept of hooking up has always been alien to me. Nothing to do with lack of rizz or whatever, trying to flirt with someone you barely have formed any sort of connection to just to get in their pants or whatever just comes off as insanely unromantic and forced. I guess I'm just wired differently.

I do agree though that holding on to these old medieval conventions of courting (only men are supposed to make the first move) are nothing but bad and inhibiting. Men and women and everyone around and inbetween should be able to make the first move, or be proposed to, or propose themselves, or whatever.
 
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I don't know. Dating has always felt a little unnatural to me. I've been on a few in my lifetime where the other person was on their phone the whole time, and it just felt kinda pointless.

I'm a little concerned in general about meeting someone online through dating apps. I just worry about security and, you know, taking blows to my self-esteem from complete strangers::sailor-embarrassed

I don't drink so I can't really go to bars or nightclubs to meet people. I mean, I could but I would feel pretty gross trying to pick up on people when most go there to drink.

I guess the ideal is meeting someone through people you already know and trust, but then you could always make things awkward there if things don't work out...

I don't know. This stuff is complicated::cirnoshrug
 
Its also today's economy. I heard in the past one dude with a grocery store job can get a house a support a family. These days you gotta have $ like Mr Beast or Logan Paul to even be taken seriously. Most guys probably feel like they have 0 chance
 
I don't know. Dating has always felt a little unnatural to me. I've been on a few in my lifetime where the other person was on their phone the whole time, and it just felt kinda pointless.

I'm a little concerned in general about meeting someone online through dating apps. I just worry about security and, you know, taking blows to my self-esteem from complete strangers::sailor-embarrassed

I don't drink so I can't really go to bars or nightclubs to meet people. I mean, I could but I would feel pretty gross trying to pick up on people when most go there to drink.

I guess the ideal is meeting someone through people you already know and trust, but then you could always make things awkward there if things don't work out...

I don't know. This stuff is complicated::cirnoshrug
It's almost as if a forum filled with nerds obsessed with old video games is a weird place for such a discussion! ::happy-harkinian
 
Flirting is much easier when the person you are flirting with finds you attractive, otherwise it's awkward and the person you're flirting with feels awkward and embarrassed. This works for either person flirting, in general mutual attraction makes relationships much easier, at least to start, personality compatibility is another issue and that determines the outcome long term. There's such thing as people being together 20+ years and still finding each other just as attractive as when they met, but it's the remaining ability to be compatible that determined that.

The issue in dating arises when there's no spark and people try it anyway, doesn't work out. Money isn't attractive, some people are surprised when that leads to a hollow relationship with zero intimacy.

Cold approaching doesn't really work, it can but that's very rare, almost all relationships started through a shared circle of some kind in communities, friend of a friend, some sort of activity club etc. This is how most relationships started for a very long time.

Dating apps have flat out ruined human courtship, anyone can look great in a photo but it skips the spark and leads to largely awkward hook ups, and in general dating apps aren't dong too well anymore as people abandon them in favour of being single.

Dating is very simple, two people, mutual attraction, compatible worldview and personality is all that's required, but it's like winning a lottery with how many people there is, and how different we can all be.
I totally agree. Generally, the people I've asked for dating advice have told me the same thing: "Approach her, talk to her, and that's it." But the few, very few opportunities I've had to do it, I felt weird. I mean, like I was forcing an interaction that didn't warrant it. That's why it's better if there's trust, then the spark.

Mega Man Nintendo GIF
 
I totally agree. Generally, the people I've asked for dating advice have told me the same thing: "Approach her, talk to her, and that's it." But the few, very few opportunities I've had to do it, I felt weird. I mean, like I was forcing an interaction that didn't warrant it. That's why it's better if there's trust, then the spark.

Mega Man Nintendo GIF
It's made me feel like a bird every single time.
1759341041438.png
 
My natural dude/brah attitude to gaming and game talk has disarmed many a guy in my general life that I have no feminine charm or desire that would make me worthy of your terrible pick up lines. A shame because I think I would have had fun with returning them with terrible gamer puns and further cement me in the gamer friendzone, which is fine we'll play CK3.
 
this thread aint about, hooks up or just how to get laid

it was a semi rant, on how both men and women, are distancing themselves, more and more, and miss eventually a good chance of knowing each other and be, in a relationship

both sides, have their pros and cons, its just that we reached to a point, where, even basic human stuff/ways to find a partner, are getting alienated

because social aps, dating apps, etc

in other words, the internet, like it or not, has damaged the crowd, a lot
 

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