Me too, daily
Intrusive or genuine? Just asking.
For about a year, genuine. Now it's intrusive, for roughly a half hour per day, cumulatively. I think about blowing my brains out with a gun. Thankfully they're illegal in my country. I'm too much of a coward to do it any other way. Plus I've got to live for those that came before me, and maybe those who could come after. But since 2023 I've been content with kms.
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*Actually partially content, as opposed to the occasional intrusive thought
That's really rough, I'm sorry to hear it. The only advice I can really give is to hang in there, it can get better.
When I had the daily thoughts I coped with a bottle, but I can't in good faith recommend that.
Drink or drugs aren't powerful enough and they make things worse overall.
Exercise and someone to live for are the only way. And if you have no-one you've got to make that person you. Thankfully I have my brother
You're preaching to the choir here. I'm glad you have someone looking out for you, and I hope everything works out for you too. Take care of yourself.
I just wanted to say that I completely understand; I've had something similar as a kid, and it all started from overthinking and irrational fears, one of them being to off myself after my father died.
I don't find anything wrong with being content with suicide personally; death is natural, and I personally want to go before old age deteriorates everything I have.
If it helps, learning to accept and acknowledge the thought helped me a lot. Learn to treat it as a fleeting speck of dust and don't see it as a distraction; it may not be what you believe, but there’s no harm in thinking it.
I'm glad you’ve learnt to live for any reason at all; there’s nothing selfish in the act, and I wish you the best of luck on your journey. ?
The first step to healing is being able to acknowledge that there’s a problem, and wanting to fix the problem.
I'm sorry for the loss of your Dad. My Mum died in my arms of a sudden stroke and heart attack. Yesterday was her birthday, and for the first time in a about a year I had a dream I could see her face. It was post-stroke, but I had repressed her face entirely up until now since the day she passed
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I want you all to know whoever read this that my Mum was the best person I've ever had the privilege of knowing and she would have loved you too
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A part of me wishes death on everyone. It passes, but it is a strong and true feeling also, just as intrusive as the other stuff, but the antithesis of everything that was/is her way. But I'm not gonna pretend or omit it, seeing as how I'm here now
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I feel so bad; my father’s not dead—I worded it INCREDIBLY wrong, and I'm so sorry for giving that impression. I was trying to say that as a kid, one of my most frequent thoughts was to kill myself when my father died.
But I'm terribly sorry for your loss, my mother died before I could even see the world and I still think on various what if’s involving her, it hurts to know that a beautiful woman was lost to you simply by giving birth to your very being, a sacrifice that sometimes doesn't feel earned.
I didn't know your mom, but I'm sure she’s looking down with pride.
Again, sorry, I'm sure my mother would’ve loved you too. ?
May I ask what causes you to have them? Sounds worrying to me
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Just thoughts? Nothing real like trying it?
I know what it means, I even lost my will to live. I don't have often that kind of thought just becuase I'm apathetic, not for other reasons. But it happens to me to think about trying to die.
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Man just what can cause you to lose the will live?
I just think everyone would be better off without me
What makes you think that way? Believe me people see you way less harshly than you see yourself.
I just think I make everyone's lives harder or something
See YOU think trust me there is someone that cares for you , you are thinking pretty negatively no good for you long term
Hmmmm what makes you happy?
Games, YouTube (and the internet in general I guess), tv shows, cartoons, anime and movies afaik
Sounds ok so far are you interested in drawing? Fitness? Reading? Social activities? Anything other than these?
I used to hate drawing but I don't anymore, fitness gets me tired, I like reading but I don't have any good books, I only like physical books, and I forgot where the library was although I didnt ever know anyways, and i'm too introvert
I too suck at drawing , tried to draw a sword ended up being something questionable.
That's the fun part about fitness when you get tired after a while your whole body becomes more energetic especially when you get used to it at first you will be sore all the time and you might hate getting tired but you start liking it after a hard workout your heart pounding fast to pump blood everywhere if you can get yourself a pull up bar it trains your entire upper body well been a while since I did pull ups maybe we both can start it again together? Be warned though its a good exercise but too much of it results in injury like what happened with my right arm in late 2022 , trust me fitness gives you much needed confidence you will look at yourself in the mirror do all the whacky flexing and compliment yourself on how good you became , start now I regret not doing fitness when I was 15.
I get you I love to have a book in my hand it works well for self defense especially if its a thick one , however you gotta sometimes work with whatever you have now until you get better access to more physical books.
Its ok im something of a introvert and extrovert myself I switch between the 2 depending on what im looking for.
Don't fixate on one mindset or trait be like water change and adapt depending on the situation (no don't sell your values and moral grounds)
I need YOU to be out of this mindset no rush man starting slowly and at your own pace is a good idea.
Just try.
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My mental illness first, then I realized there were other reasons to not want to live.
Some years ago I got that I will never had what I wanted, so I don't have any reason to do something.
Why woud I want to learn other languages, to travel and see other countries or whatever toher thing I could do? There's no use in any of this.
What's your condition if you don't mind me asking?
I know you didnt ask me but I have asperger syndrome
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OCD - obsessive-compulsive disorder.
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