Mental health thread

[Xdqwerty Xdqwerty]

This is going to sound flippant (mean and dismissive) so I’m sorry, but it’s anything but that: you’re still just a kid CJ. Your pain is as real as anyone else’s, possibly MORE real in some ways, but your criticism of yourself is pretty unfounded because of this factor. You haven’t even had enough time to fuck up, and don’t even correct me bc my mind is set on this. You make so many character assessments about yourself, but they’re all kind of bullshit if you’re just going to be down on yourself. I say this as someone who gets really down on themselves, and when I start self-hating, none of that shit makes any sense. Keep your head up! And maybe do like 10 jumping jacks, it may distract you.

Then how can I make my brain stfu without physically harming it?

 

[bjork]

I don't know if this is the right place for it since it's more of a confusion/figuring things out kind of thing, but here goes: my dad died about three weeks ago, so I've been dealing with the things you have to take care of when that happens. Some people have said, "it's sad, but now this is a chance for you to live for yourself now," because since 2020 I've taken multiple year-plus stints off of work to go back home and help him while he went through cancer treatments and stuff, always making appointments with his doctors, and so on. But I don't know how to 'live for yourself' because... what does that even mean? Every time we would get him through his treatments or his surgeries or whatever and he would go, "You should go live your life now," I saw me being there as part of my life, you know?

So what I'm currently doing is that I've returned to Seattle (he lived in Southern California, as did I for most of my life) to finish up at work long enough to cover my lease at this apartment, then I'm going back home. He had put me on the deed to the house, so it's mine now and that's weird to say. But it's a house full of his stuff as well as my mom's stuff, and she's been gone for almost 20 years, so is going through that stuff considered living for myself? I guess I'm just getting hung up on the statement because it wasn't anything I was forced into doing, idk

 

[Deleted member 13897]

Then how can I make my brain stfu without physically harming it?

I’m still trying to find the answer to this. I don’t think it ever completely shuts up (if anyone has reached complete nirvana DM me plz LMAO), but for me personally, I think about my toolbox. My toolbox has all the tools I’ve gained: emotional regulation skills, a toy that can distract me when I’m ruminating unproductively and hurting my own damn feelings lol, earplugs for when I can’t handle outside stimuli, a hug from someone I trust, etc. When I’m angry, or sad, there are things I can pull out of my toolbox that help.

We’re all always on a journey to accept ourselves, everyone is to some extent, I believe.

Post automatically merged: Jun 5, 2025

He had put me on the deed to the house, so it's mine now and that's weird to say. But it's a house full of his stuff as well as my mom's stuff, and she's been gone for almost 20 years, so is going through that stuff considered living for myself?

Im sorry to hear about your difficult loss. I see what you mean here, it’s like people tell you to live for yourself but then part of that living for yourself is inevitably dealing with what others have left behind. That’s a tough situation. I wish you the best with the house

 

[Xdqwerty Xdqwerty]

I’m still trying to find the answer to this. I don’t think it ever completely shuts up (if anyone has reached complete nirvana DM me plz LMAO), but for me personally, I think about my toolbox. My toolbox has all the tools I’ve gained: emotional regulation skills, a toy that can distract me when I’m ruminating unproductively and hurting my own damn feelings lol, earplugs for when I can’t handle outside stimuli, a hug from someone I trust, etc. When I’m angry, or sad, there are things I can pull out of my toolbox that help.

I wish I had one of those toolboxes

 

[Deleted member 13897]

I wish I had one of those toolboxes

You make it over the years! You’ll acquire tools with time and some practice

 

[Yousef]

I don't know if this is the right place for it since it's more of a confusion/figuring things out kind of thing, but here goes: my dad died about three weeks ago, so I've been dealing with the things you have to take care of when that happens. Some people have said, "it's sad, but now this is a chance for you to live for yourself now," because since 2020 I've taken multiple year-plus stints off of work to go back home and help him while he went through cancer treatments and stuff, always making appointments with his doctors, and so on. But I don't know how to 'live for yourself' because... what does that even mean? Every time we would get him through his treatments or his surgeries or whatever and he would go, "You should go live your life now," I saw me being there as part of my life, you know?

So what I'm currently doing is that I've returned to Seattle (he lived in Southern California, as did I for most of my life) to finish up at work long enough to cover my lease at this apartment, then I'm going back home. He had put me on the deed to the house, so it's mine now and that's weird to say. But it's a house full of his stuff as well as my mom's stuff, and she's been gone for almost 20 years, so is going through that stuff considered living for myself? I guess I'm just getting hung up on the statement because it wasn't anything I was forced into doing, idk

I fully sympathize with you here. Not only is it absolutely a great tragedy and I’m deeply sorry for what you went through but I too also get confused by that sentence because… it almost feels like you never have time for yourself in a way? Or being with others becomes such a part of you that that is what you live for and when it’s gone, it feels like a piece of you is gone. That’s how I’d feel, just empty. I’ll pray for you and wish you best of luck in your endeavors. I can’t imagine how traumatic a family loss would be for me so my heart goes out to anyone that experiences it.

 

[Xdqwerty Xdqwerty]

Is being emotionally sensitive/fragile a bad thing? I've seen people making fun of that

 

[χKai]

Is being emotionally sensitive/fragile a bad thing? I've seen people making fun of that

Those people are generally insecure and vulnerable themselves, only doing so to hide what they percieve as their own weakness, while their true weakness remains their inability to address these aspects of self and rise above them.

 

[Xdqwerty Xdqwerty]

I want to stab myself into the head, its the most effective way I might change as a person

 

[Pandaprewmaster325]

I want to stab myself into the head, its the most effective way I might change as a person

And go out on me like that? Nah bro that's not gonna solve a thing it will just make things more difficult.

You are just too obsessed about being perfect i get scolded all ze time for doing stupid things , messing up doesn't mean the end of the world.

 

[Samatonic Samatonic]

 

[Pandaprewmaster325]

I hope it doesn't reach a point where he actually starts cutting himself and such messed up activities.

 

[Xdqwerty Xdqwerty]

I hope it doesn't reach a point where he actually starts cutting himself and such messed up activities.

Well I tried hitting myself in the head twice with my fists but I only got pain

 

[Samatonic Samatonic]

Hit a Sandbag, each punch will show your desperation, your tensions, your problems. Been there, done that. It was a small charity event where I'm from. In time, you will find solutions where you found problems. Letting out that anger feels good. Each time your mind forgets and becomes stronger.

 

[Xdqwerty Xdqwerty]

Hit a Sandbag

I dont have one

 

[Pandaprewmaster325]

Well I tried hitting myself in the head twice with my fists but I only got pain

Sigh why would you hit yourself......it won't fix you my guy you aren't a computer screen that when it turns purple you slap it and it returns to normal.

Better vent out anger and frustration in more meaningful ways how about working out? It did wonders for me it might be just what you need (:

 

[Xdqwerty Xdqwerty]

Sigh why would you hit yourself......it won't fix you my guy you aren't a computer screen that when it turns purple you slap it and it returns to normal.

Its called discipline.

Better vent out anger and frustration in more meaningful ways how about working out? It did wonders for me it might be just what you need (:

Theres PE class at school

 

[Samatonic Samatonic]

- Get an old car tire, get it cut, about 35% of it. Nail the ends on a wooden board. Done.
- Grab a large bucket, fill it with sand or dirt, nothing hard. Punch it, grab it as hard as you can. Done.
- Grab a large potato sack, fill it with sand, cover it with a cloth where it can be punched accordingly, Done.

 

[Pandaprewmaster325]

Its called discipline

Damn if that's what you call discipline then call me in to beat your ass everytime you mess up

Not to be mean but no man you cracked me up real good with this one , that's not discipline my friend that's unneeded self inflicted punishment.

Theres PE class at school

What activities are in it?

 

[Xdqwerty Xdqwerty]

What activities are in it?

Flexing, walking, throtling, and exercises that tend to vary from class to class

 

[Pandaprewmaster325]

Flexing, walking, throtling, and exercises that tend to vary from class to class

I see well do you enjoy it? BTW starting to workout isn't all that hard you can start pretty simple way to do push ups and get the proper body form for doing push ups it's the most simple of exercises that can pioneer the road for more advanced ones.

 

[Xdqwerty Xdqwerty]

I see well do you enjoy it?

I always get all sweaty and tired (but its probably bc im one of the few ones on my classroom who still doesnt have a dedicated PE class uniform)

 

[Pandaprewmaster325]

I always get all sweaty and tired (but its probably bc im one of the few ones on my classroom who still doesnt have a dedicated PE class uniform)

Yeah that's normal getting sweaty and tired is the norm , oh you mean a sort of a sports pijama?

 

[Xdqwerty Xdqwerty]

oh you mean a sort of a sports pijama?

Yup

 

[Pandaprewmaster325]

Yup

Yeah it's alright not like a huge massive game changer , so what you think about home workout?