Mental health thread

Hang In There Frenz!
bloom and gloom frens.jpg
 
I'm often hit with an intrusive thought to delete every trace of myself from the internet and disappear without a trace. I doubt I would ever go through with it, but sometimes I feel like I desperately need a clean break.
I think this is perfectly normal :))
I tend to consider doing this if I’m tired or feel I don’t want to associate with a community anymore. But you are beloved member of this community so even if you take a break, I’m sure many people will be awaiting your return.
 
I thought hitting myself in the head would solve my issues but instead I just got pain for a few moments
 
Often I feel like such an oxymoron (or an alien). I crave to be able to connect with others around me. I hate myself for not being able to understand why I can’t just get it like everyone else (I doubt they even know ::cirnoshrug) , but at the same time I don’t want to conform because idk what I’d be then, it wouldn’t be me, I know that- plus I’m too lazy and attached to my interests to attempt to become a ‘normal person’.

I really wish I knew how the fuck others my age could just jump into relationships, friendships or dating. I feel like such a fuckin moron for never even having kissed someone. Hell I’ve only had one semi romantic relationship and that was a complete shit show.

I can’t help but feel like I’m doing something wrong, but I can’t seem to figure it out.

I know it’s best to wait, I’m just feeling moody and lonely right now and wanted to ramble.
 
Oh I hope you're all right :(
if i survive the first night of sleeping after all that i will be fine which i was
i tend to wake up once in the night choking on nothing with my heart feeling like it will burst out of my chest but if that passes then i am fine in the short term
 
another binge was awake for only 50 hours this time but still very damaging to my health
oh well
Oof, I feel you in the way that when I'm pulling an all-nighter while drinking, the longer I'm awake the harder it seems going to sleep even if I'm totally cooked, but I don't think I could last for 50 hours, don't want to imagine the kind of panic attacks I'd be getting
 
For me, one of the worst things about having anxiety is that when I have a panic attack, people just tell me to "stop worrying", as if it's something I can control at will.
I know right????? It’s literally NOT something you just turn on and off. You just have it. You can do something about it, yes, but you can’t just shut it off and people need to realize that >:((
 
My mother sees my panic attacks (provocked by her) as an opportunity to kick me while I am down.
Deep down in my heart of hearts I know she tried for years for me to attack her so she could justify institutionalizing me and despoiling me of my inheritance and possessions. She pushed my buttons hard in public during my anxiety attacks (provoked by her bullying) so I would act/up and she would be justified in treating my like shit, but I never gave her that pleasure. People know she is a shitty bully and mother. Other people know to leave me alone to gather my shit and I am back in no time, mellow and gathered, but she just keeps bullying me like having Panic Attacks is a moral weakness... she is the literal definition of Schizophrenogenic Mother.
 
Ngl I kinda hate that i'm one day happy, the next day neutral and the next day depressed
 
I think I'm going to look into going back into therapy or going back on medication. I've been putting on a brave face, but my mental state's been rather wretched these last few weeks. It's reaching the point now where even the simplest, stupidest things are giving me anxiety episodes, and I'm struggling to interact with friends without being hit with that "They'd be happier if I left them alone" feeling. I'm struggling more and more with sleep lately too.

Sorry about venting a lot here lately. Truth is, I don't have many outlets to do it in.
 
I think I'm going to look into going back into therapy or going back on medication. I've been putting on a brave face, but my mental state's been rather wretched these last few weeks. It's reaching the point now where even the simplest, stupidest things are giving me anxiety episodes, and I'm struggling to interact with friends without being hit with that "They'd be happier if I left them alone" feeling. I'm struggling more and more with sleep lately too.

Sorry about venting a lot here lately. Truth is, I don't have many outlets to do it in.
Life is annoying with how easy it is to fall off the wagon yet extremely difficult to get back on.

Wish you the best of luck, and hope you’re able to find healthy resources to help with your anxiety.
 
I think I'm going to look into going back into therapy or going back on medication. I've been putting on a brave face, but my mental state's been rather wretched these last few weeks. It's reaching the point now where even the simplest, stupidest things are giving me anxiety episodes, and I'm struggling to interact with friends without being hit with that "They'd be happier if I left them alone" feeling. I'm struggling more and more with sleep lately too.
Ranmy! I'm telling this with my heart.
Every time i see you are online, i become happy!
Reading your comments is always interesting for me!
Do our thoughts or interests always align? surely not... but so what? i have learned many things from you, and generally have good times when reading your comments.
Your presence here is making lots of people happy!
And i believe you know it too deep down. 😊

Sorry about venting a lot here lately. Truth is, I don't have many outlets to do it in.
Hey... this thread is good for doing this!
if we don't vent here, then what's it good for?

If anything, i'm ashamed for not venting here enough...
You can say this is what my anxiety do with me... it seals my lips...
There are things that i like to share about myself... but i just can't bring myself to do so...
I feel jealous to everyone here who can do it...
Even now, i'm not sure if what i'm writing here will make things better or worse... if it's not good, please forgive me!

The only thing that i can say is... Wishing you the best! ::heart
 
Ranmy! I'm telling this with my heart.
Every time i see you are online, i become happy!
Reading your comments is always interesting for me!
Do our thoughts or interests always align? surely not... but so what? i have learned many things from you, and generally have good times when reading your comments.
Your presence here is making lots of people happy!
And i believe you know it too deep down. 😊


Hey... this thread is good for doing this!
if we don't vent here, then what's it good for?

If anything, i'm ashamed for not venting here enough...
You can say this is what my anxiety do with me... it seals my lips...
There are things that i like to share about myself... but i just can't bring myself to do so...
I feel jealous to everyone here who can do it...
Even now, i'm not sure if what i'm writing here will make things better or worse... if it's not good, please forgive me!

The only thing that i can say is... Wishing you the best! ::heart
I... think I needed this right now.

I'm constantly doubting and second guessing myself, despite my usual demeanor, never quite feeling like enough. It's nice to hear this from someone else, and it really helps, so thank you truly.

I think I'm gonna have a quick cry now.
 
I know that I just joined and I mostly lurk, but I second what JustLooking123 said.
I enjoy reading, and so far I've enjoyed reading your takes and quietly nodding from my corner. You do seem to be fun to have around, and I'm looking forward to interacting with you directly or indirectly more often.
If you think either therapy or medicine or both would help you, I believe you should go for it if you have the means. Sometimes our brains like to play mad scientist and be a dick to make us feel that way and when it teams up with the impostor syndrome? It can get rough.
And it is ok to vent. We are humans after all. Be kinder to yourself.
 
Reading this has broken my heart...
I can only say that people here won't think bad about you, and certainly no one here would wish you bad things.

I neither encourage you to vent here, nor discourage you.
This is something that you should decide...
But if you decide to share your sorrows, this place is always open to you, and i will be more than happy to listen to them.
 

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