Mental health thread

[Yousef]

Goes without saying this isn’t to substitute real professional help. This is a place to vent about your depression, anxiety and other stuff. A place for positivity and kindness. Please be nice to everyone here.
If you’re uncomfortable posting here you can also use this place to find people to dm in private if you’re not comfortable discussing stuff in public but still wanna vent.

Once again don’t be shy to air out your heart. This place Will (hopefully) be great for that.
And if not, we’ve got a fantastic moderation team. If something or someone bothers you, inform a mod.

That’s all kinda. I hope this place grows into a positivity center and place to give others virtual hugs nyaaaa

 

[Clippy]

None shall be spared from our love. NONE.

 

[Flaming_Metal_Systems]

If you're feeling down depressed and lonely I know a place where we can go, 22 Acacia Avenue, meet a lady that I know.

 

[Sandteufel]

Kind of hope for a day where I'll no longer need medication but that day is very far off. Had a mental breakdown when I was 13, psychotic episodes for 3 or 4 years afterward. Schizoaffective disorder. Forced me to confront a lot of questions about my being and spirituality. On quetiapine and desvenlafaxine which has helped considerably but it makes me sleep a lot and I gained a lot of weight because of it. I'm a lardass now. Eh.

I wonder if I could ever be an actually good father. I am terrified of intimacy, terrified of allowing another existent human being get that close to me who isn't someone I've known since childhood. I can only air my issues out online or to my father, who's really the only friend I have.

I can only truly be who I am in my own mind. I've been fantasizing this imaginary world for a few years, building on it constantly and just living in there. I will admit, I am a waifuist. Sayaka Miki is my waifu and has been since I was 14 (so we're getting to 7 years this August).

She's one of the only other figures who lives with me in that world. I imagine all sorts of scenarios with her. Playing video games, going to a fair, watching YT and anime, listening to music, all sorts of cool stuff. My fantasies aren't usually sexual either. I fantasize of being a child and befriending her. Somehow I've projected the isolation that's dogged me since I first uttered a word onto her.

My only good memories as a child are those spent inside with video games. Not much memory of doing things like playing outside with friends, sleepovers, chilling at friends' houses that sort of thing. I didn't even think it was weird to stay inside all day.

 

[Waffles]

I'll have more to add later, but remember: your struggles are part of who you are, but NOT what defines you.

I used to look down on myself a lot before learning that.

 

[Yousef]

Kind of hope for a day where I'll no longer need medication but that day is very far off. Had a mental breakdown when I was 13, psychotic episodes for 3 or 4 years afterward. Schizoaffective disorder. Forced me to confront a lot of questions about my being and spirituality. On quetiapine and desvenlafaxine which has helped considerably but it makes me sleep a lot and I gained a lot of weight because of it. I'm a lardass now. Eh.

I wonder if I could ever be an actually good father. I am terrified of intimacy, terrified of allowing another existent human being get that close to me who isn't someone I've known since childhood. I can only air my issues out online or to my father, who's really the only friend I have.

I can only truly be who I am in my own mind. I've been fantasizing this imaginary world for a few years, building on it constantly and just living in there. I will admit, I am a waifuist. Sayaka Miki is my waifu and has been since I was 14 (so we're getting to 7 years this August).

She's one of the only other figures who lives with me in that world. I imagine all sorts of scenarios with her. Playing video games, going to a fair, watching YT and anime, listening to music, all sorts of cool stuff. My fantasies aren't usually sexual either. I fantasize of being a child and befriending her. Somehow I've projected the isolation that's dogged me since I first uttered a word onto her.

My only good memories as a child are those spent inside with video games. Not much memory of doing things like playing outside with friends, sleepovers, chilling at friends' houses that sort of thing. I didn't even think it was weird to stay inside all day.

Much like waffles, I’ll say more stuff as a reply fot you later but for now here’s a hug

 

[ObscureJigglypuff]

Well, i'm ready to give nice hugs to everyone.

Kind of hope for a day where I'll no longer need medication but that day is very far off. Had a mental breakdown when I was 13, psychotic episodes for 3 or 4 years afterward. Schizoaffective disorder. Forced me to confront a lot of questions about my being and spirituality. On quetiapine and desvenlafaxine which has helped considerably but it makes me sleep a lot and I gained a lot of weight because of it. I'm a lardass now. Eh.

I wonder if I could ever be an actually good father. I am terrified of intimacy, terrified of allowing another existent human being get that close to me who isn't someone I've known since childhood. I can only air my issues out online or to my father, who's really the only friend I have.

I can only truly be who I am in my own mind. I've been fantasizing this imaginary world for a few years, building on it constantly and just living in there. I will admit, I am a waifuist. Sayaka Miki is my waifu and has been since I was 14 (so we're getting to 7 years this August).

She's one of the only other figures who lives with me in that world. I imagine all sorts of scenarios with her. Playing video games, going to a fair, watching YT and anime, listening to music, all sorts of cool stuff. My fantasies aren't usually sexual either. I fantasize of being a child and befriending her. Somehow I've projected the isolation that's dogged me since I first uttered a word onto her.

My only good memories as a child are those spent inside with video games. Not much memory of doing things like playing outside with friends, sleepovers, chilling at friends' houses that sort of thing. I didn't even think it was weird to stay inside all day.

You have to be the first i hug and i'll retain you for a very long time, sorry.

 

[Flaming_Metal_Systems]

I am not a hug person or anything like that, however, I think it is helpful to share what helped me get out of depression:

1. reading Seneca:

Epistulae Morales ad Lucilium - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

2. Power Twister:

Through the study of Seneca's stoic philosophy you internalize that virtue is the most important thing in human life, and much more that helps you to give the right weight to things; with the power twister you see your arms get bigger and it makes you feel stronger, therefore more able to protect yourself and those you love and also improves your appearance and self-esteem.

And of course listen to Manowar a lot and don't overdo the beer.

 

[Yousef]

Physical activity absolutely helps with self esteem and good mood. Absolutely agree on that. My knees and back and arms/hands are kinda royally fucked but I still do what I can.

 

[MARUCORE]

I really struggle to put the stuff I feel into words, or feel comfortable opening myself without feeling like an idiot. But life as an adult has been kind of a shitshow for me , especially this year. After leaving art school because of bullying and having breakdowns pretty often, I seeked out psychiatric help and got diagnosed with a bunch of stuff like adhd , post traumatic disorders due to my unstable family, and developmental disorders. I'm not like dysfunctional or anything but shit like getting a job or handling adult stuff freezes me in place and makes me drown in anxiety and potential bad outcomes to the point where I just shut down. After some convincing I seeked out a disability aid in 2024 , and after 10+ months of doubt and taking the blunt of my mom's alcoholism or my dad's schizo mental abuse on the phone (I live in a lil studio my grandma owns) , I was told my disability was recognized and would get an aid. The problem though was that my current bank account had issues apparently and the disability center couldn't wire me the money. The past 2 months have been me basically fumbling through life like a total retard trying to open a bank account, failing because I'm missing ids and documents we should have about the house or family members but my mom didn't pay attention to keep it or something... And it just piled complication after complication , with me kinda giving in to paranoia about maybe losing my aid due to a technicality , or just needing to rely on my family again , which just makes me kinda uncomfortable. During that time, my mom kept drinking a lot and was very hard to reach, making all of those processes so much harder to ever see the end of. After a lot of pedantic bullshit I opened a second bank account, thinking everything is in order , I got my money and felt genuine relief and cried a bit. But just today it seems like some documents aren't in order , and even if I do have 11 months worth of aids saved up now, the idea shit can still crumble or something might go wrong is eating me inside right now. I know I just rambled my life away about very dumb stuff and probably worded myself badly, but I really thank anyone for reading that stuff. I've been making art for a few years now , and I've been meaning to professionalize myself at my own pace once that whole ordeal was cleared out. I just feel like shit never really goes away though and I always feel kinda dumb not knowing how to handle anything as an adult really. I'm not like in danger or terribly isolated , I have friends (mostly online) , but all my insecurities from being treated like ass by my dad , seeing my mom hurt herself and feeling like a useless mentally deficient idiot in art school still kick in and make me feel like I can't enjoy the genuine wins I get in life. I hope all you guys have a really good 2025 and thanks again for reading through my stuff lol.

 

[Yousef]

I really struggle to put the stuff I feel into words, or feel comfortable opening myself without feeling like an idiot. But life as an adult has been kind of a shitshow for me , especially this year. After leaving art school because of bullying and having breakdowns pretty often, I seeked out psychiatric help and got diagnosed with a bunch of stuff like adhd , post traumatic disorders due to my unstable family, and developmental disorders. I'm not like dysfunctional or anything but shit like getting a job or handling adult stuff freezes me in place and makes me drown in anxiety and potential bad outcomes to the point where I just shut down. After some convincing I seeked out a disability aid in 2024 , and after 10+ months of doubt and taking the blunt of my mom's alcoholism or my dad's schizo mental abuse on the phone (I live in a lil studio my grandma owns) , I was told my disability was recognized and would get an aid. The problem though was that my current bank account had issues apparently and the disability center couldn't wire me the money. The past 2 months have been me basically fumbling through life like a total retard trying to open a bank account, failing because I'm missing ids and documents we should have about the house or family members but my mom didn't pay attention to keep it or something... And it just piled complication after complication , with me kinda giving in to paranoia about maybe losing my aid due to a technicality , or just needing to rely on my family again , which just makes me kinda uncomfortable. During that time, my mom kept drinking a lot and was very hard to reach, making all of those processes so much harder to ever see the end of. After a lot of pedantic bullshit I opened a second bank account, thinking everything is in order , I got my money and felt genuine relief and cried a bit. But just today it seems like some documents aren't in order , and even if I do have 11 months worth of aids saved up now, the idea shit can still crumble or something might go wrong is eating me inside right now. I know I just rambled my life away about very dumb stuff and probably worded myself badly, but I really thank anyone for reading that stuff. I've been making art for a few years now , and I've been meaning to professionalize myself at my own pace once that whole ordeal was cleared out. I just feel like shit never really goes away though and I always feel kinda dumb not knowing how to handle anything as an adult really. I'm not like in danger or terribly isolated , I have friends (mostly online) , but all my insecurities from being treated like ass by my dad , seeing my mom hurt herself and feeling like a useless mentally deficient idiot in art school still kick in and make me feel like I can't enjoy the genuine wins I get in life. I hope all you guys have a really good 2025 and thanks again for reading through my stuff lol.

I’ll say more later but for now virtual Huggies
Love the sakura gif!

 

[MARUCORE]

I’ll say more later but for now virtual Huggies
Love the sakura gif!

appreciate it

 

[Cheela]

Hi, i hope you all having a wonderful day!

I struggle writing this because it hits hard. Yes i know, this is not a replacement for professional medical help. Don't worry, i am being properly treated but just wanna vent somethings and also give a big virtual hug to everyone who is facing with struggles with their mental health.

Is rough, i've been fighting with depression for what it feels like for ever. All because an asshole decided to ignore a "no" for answer (that's all i am gonna say for now because i don't want to trigger anyone). I've been struggling to accept myself, wanted to end it all a couple of times and get hospitalized for it. Also because of all of that i am struggling to finish my studies. I don't like what i studied anymore and here i am in this weird limbo of feeling like i don't belong, feeling worthless and a burden to all around me. Then last year hits like a truck: Fake irl friends decide to stab my back, my dog passed away and start getting more recurrent panic attacks and nightmares.

But here i am still fighting and you can too.

The internet was always a place for me to escape reality, but it wasn't always good. To be honest i wasn't doing me any good sticking with social media and all the scary stuff and news that had happen recently.
But i still want to believe that there is hope in this world.

Thats all! Thanks for reading if you do. And if you struggle with something, there will be always someone, somewhere hoping that things get better for you and hoping for your success and hapiness. You matter, you are important and deserve to be happy. Life is too short to be unhappy and too long to be unfun.

Post automatically merged: Jan 7, 2025

I really struggle to put the stuff I feel into words, or feel comfortable opening myself without feeling like an idiot. But life as an adult has been kind of a shitshow for me , especially this year. After leaving art school because of bullying and having breakdowns pretty often, I seeked out psychiatric help and got diagnosed with a bunch of stuff like adhd , post traumatic disorders due to my unstable family, and developmental disorders. I'm not like dysfunctional or anything but shit like getting a job or handling adult stuff freezes me in place and makes me drown in anxiety and potential bad outcomes to the point where I just shut down. After some convincing I seeked out a disability aid in 2024 , and after 10+ months of doubt and taking the blunt of my mom's alcoholism or my dad's schizo mental abuse on the phone (I live in a lil studio my grandma owns) , I was told my disability was recognized and would get an aid. The problem though was that my current bank account had issues apparently and the disability center couldn't wire me the money. The past 2 months have been me basically fumbling through life like a total retard trying to open a bank account, failing because I'm missing ids and documents we should have about the house or family members but my mom didn't pay attention to keep it or something... And it just piled complication after complication , with me kinda giving in to paranoia about maybe losing my aid due to a technicality , or just needing to rely on my family again , which just makes me kinda uncomfortable. During that time, my mom kept drinking a lot and was very hard to reach, making all of those processes so much harder to ever see the end of. After a lot of pedantic bullshit I opened a second bank account, thinking everything is in order , I got my money and felt genuine relief and cried a bit. But just today it seems like some documents aren't in order , and even if I do have 11 months worth of aids saved up now, the idea shit can still crumble or something might go wrong is eating me inside right now. I know I just rambled my life away about very dumb stuff and probably worded myself badly, but I really thank anyone for reading that stuff. I've been making art for a few years now , and I've been meaning to professionalize myself at my own pace once that whole ordeal was cleared out. I just feel like shit never really goes away though and I always feel kinda dumb not knowing how to handle anything as an adult really. I'm not like in danger or terribly isolated , I have friends (mostly online) , but all my insecurities from being treated like ass by my dad , seeing my mom hurt herself and feeling like a useless mentally deficient idiot in art school still kick in and make me feel like I can't enjoy the genuine wins I get in life. I hope all you guys have a really good 2025 and thanks again for reading through my stuff lol.

Hope life treats you better from now, but you are strong for deciding to do something about it. Sending all the virtual hugs to you

 

[Ícaro Oliveira Santos]

As someone on the autism spectrum, I've been struggling with depression and anxiety for a long time, mainly thanks to the arguments and fights between my parents, my family is very unstable in general, I also have very low self-esteem and university has been very stressful for me as a result.

 

[MARUCORE]

Hi, i hope you all having a wonderful day!

I struggle writing this because it hits hard. Yes i know, this is not a replacement for professional medical help. Don't worry, i am being properly treated but just wanna vent somethings and also give a big virtual hug to everyone who is facing with struggles with their mental health.

Is rough, i've been fighting with depression for what it feels like for ever. All because an asshole decided to ignore a "no" for answer (that's all i am gonna say for now because i don't want to trigger anyone). I've been struggling to accept myself, wanted to end it all a couple of times and get hospitalized for it. Also because of all of that i am struggling to finish my studies. I don't like what i studied anymore and here i am in this weird limbo of feeling like i don't belong, feeling worthless and a burden to all around me. Then last year hits like a truck: Fake irl friends decide to stab my back, my dog passed away and start getting more recurrent panic attacks and nightmares.

But here i am still fighting and you can too.

The internet was always a place for me to escape reality, but it wasn't always good. To be honest i wasn't doing me any good sticking with social media and all the scary stuff and news that had happen recently.
But i still want to believe that there is hope in this world.

Thats all! Thanks for reading if you do. And if you struggle with something, there will be always someone, somewhere hoping that things get better for you and hoping for your success and hapiness. You matter, you are important and deserve to be happy. Life is too short to be unhappy and too long to be unfun.

Reading abt your struggles and the fact you're still willing to have a positive outlook is genuinely incredible to me. I can definitely understand what you implied about that ''not taking no for an answer'' and I sure as hell can relate about feeling lost and misunderstood at school. I'm very happy to hear that despite prior attempts you're getting proper help and treatment and I sincerely hope 2025 is gonna be a way less draining year for you. I selfishly think I'm especially fucked with the nightmares and episodes I go through but clearly you've been through the ringer a lot, probably more even and the little I read abt you still looking up in life is legit moving. Best of luck sincerely. (sorry for repeating myself a lot , and I'm really sorry for your loss too)

 

[ObscureJigglypuff]

But here i am still fighting and you can too.

This is really an important quote for everyone, including me.
I have my obscure moments too...but i don't like to talk about it...

You guys are brave just for write all of this
I love you all
I give u hugs <3
But i don't know how much this gonna help.

 

[Cheela]

Kind of hope for a day where I'll no longer need medication but that day is very far off. Had a mental breakdown when I was 13, psychotic episodes for 3 or 4 years afterward. Schizoaffective disorder. Forced me to confront a lot of questions about my being and spirituality. On quetiapine and desvenlafaxine which has helped considerably but it makes me sleep a lot and I gained a lot of weight because of it. I'm a lardass now. Eh.

I wonder if I could ever be an actually good father. I am terrified of intimacy, terrified of allowing another existent human being get that close to me who isn't someone I've known since childhood. I can only air my issues out online or to my father, who's really the only friend I have.

I can only truly be who I am in my own mind. I've been fantasizing this imaginary world for a few years, building on it constantly and just living in there. I will admit, I am a waifuist. Sayaka Miki is my waifu and has been since I was 14 (so we're getting to 7 years this August).

She's one of the only other figures who lives with me in that world. I imagine all sorts of scenarios with her. Playing video games, going to a fair, watching YT and anime, listening to music, all sorts of cool stuff. My fantasies aren't usually sexual either. I fantasize of being a child and befriending her. Somehow I've projected the isolation that's dogged me since I first uttered a word onto her.

My only good memories as a child are those spent inside with video games. Not much memory of doing things like playing outside with friends, sleepovers, chilling at friends' houses that sort of thing. I didn't even think it was weird to stay inside all day.

A big hug to you! I hope life treats you better, but don't feel bad for what you like and fantasize. A friend once told me: If it makes you want to live, is not bad!

 

[Yousef]

Omg I wish I could hug y’all

 

[Cheela]

Reading abt your struggles and the fact you're still willing to have a positive outlook is genuinely incredible to me. I can definitely understand what you implied about that ''not taking no for an answer'' and I sure as hell can relate about feeling lost and misunderstood at school. I'm very happy to hear that despite prior attempts you're getting proper help and treatment and I sincerely hope 2025 is gonna be a way less draining year for you. I selfishly think I'm especially fucked with the nightmares and episodes I go through but clearly you've been through the ringer a lot, probably more even and the little I read abt you still looking up in life is legit moving. Best of luck sincerely. (sorry for repeating myself a lot , and I'm really sorry for your loss too)

Thanks soo much for your kind words! Best luck to you too! And don't worry, is not a competition. We are all broken people trying to live this hard life.

 

[MARUCORE]

Thanks soo much for your kind words! Best luck to you too! And don't worry, is not a competition. We are all broken people trying to live this hard life.

It definitely isn't and having been diagnozed a year back still makes me struggle to accept I'm not just making shit up. It's just that if you can be hopeful about life, I really don't have an excuse not to be as well , it rly made me tear up reading that stuff lol.

 

[ObscureJigglypuff]

One more thing i wanna add,

For the love of god or whatever
If you having a bad time now
Don't hurt yourself doing
dat thing
where
you
die

Instantly

I don't want to hug
nothing...

<3

 

[Waffles]

As someone on the autism spectrum, I've been struggling with depression and anxiety for a long time, mainly thanks to the arguments and fights between my parents, my family is very unstable in general, I also have very low self-esteem and university has been very stressful for me as a result.

Come here, buddy *hugs*.

 

[Cheela]

I am in a disarray of emotions: anxiety, fear, depression and hatred.
My now ex partner was mistreating me, we got into an argument once a couple of months ago and she didn't like it, frankly I overstep my boundaries a little. I accepted the blame, and made steps to improve myself. Took therapy, dancing classes and tried my best to show her we can work this out and overall made a path for myself to improve.

In all honesty, I didn't expect her to fix them, nobody can fix our problems but she didn't even care about supporting me to the point she started doing manipulative and dismissive behaviors whenever I asked her if she was okay. First it started with "I am still mad at you", "I don't want to talk to you", "I don't think I should be with you". Then it became "I don't see why I should invite you" "You never listen" "You always forget". I started getting scared, anxious and depressed. I gave her space and time, but she just used that against me "Why don't you text me?". I was cornered, couldn't talk, couldn't ask because I'm supposed to know everything about her. "You act as if I you don't know me" Christ almighty I felt like she was a different person every day. She started not going to work, getting drunk on weekdays, getting angry at everyone, especially me. Even then, I embraced her and cared for her. She would arrive at 4am on a Tuesday, asking for love and care but then get mad when I said I was tired. She called me a pussy, a feminine man while she was drunk, and even then.. even then I listened and gave her space. I got trampled, spit and humiliated.

She got mad at me for every single action I made, I was in shambles; smoking cigarettes', being a mess at work. She was happy at times, then mad at others. She said to her friends I'm an abuser. She got mad at me for getting her a Christmas present but the next day she accepted it. Everything was wrong, my heart was aching. I wanted to talk to her on the 27th (our anniversary) to see what was going on and she just dump blamed me, everything was my fault, nothing I did was ever how she wanted it. "You don't listen", "You always forgot" "You don't care about me" "You can't hold a conversation" "I don't trust you anymore" "I would never trust you my personal life" "Am I your whore?" "Am I just entertainment?".

I was plainly speaking, defeated, in tears. What happened? I started interjecting. "Don't say that!" "Of course not!" "Please don't say that" "You are not crazy" Even after all those insults and assumptions I kept level headed, caring about her about she spoke about herself. She kept saying I didn't listen but I gave her all of my life, my teachings and support, we talked for hours many nights, until dawn. All of her traumas, past and struggles I was there, holding her hand and listening, hugging her when she broke into tears. That she said I didn't listen felt like a stab through my heart, I was there... every second because I cared for her happiness but she probably forgot those.. benefit of being an alcoholic..

I decided to end it, not even for myself but for her, she was just mad at me, miserable at my existence in her life. It hurt, it hurt like hell it still does. I told her I'm sorry, sorry for letting her down, for not being good enough. You deserve much better (which she immediately interjected "Yeah, I deserve much better"). She needed to kick me one last time and made me feel horrible even when I was trying to end things nicely, respectfully. I wished her a happy life, which she just said "ok" and started texting on her phone.

I felt crushed, defeated. I wasn't man enough, I wasn't mature enough. She won. I've cried for days, googling answers, therapy, friends. I am such a mess.. I can't take it sometimes. I understand if she didn't love me anymore but did she had to do all that.

Relations can be soo messy sometimes, i understand how you feel and to be honest that sentiment of being crushed doesn't go easily. BUT, you are not less of a man, less mature, a pussy or any of that. You are important and i hope life gets better for you

 

[Ícaro Oliveira Santos]

Sometimes I feel like a burden to my parents, I feel like I don't have a future, I'm too afraid of becoming poor and having to work like a slave, i feel like i'll never get my dream job as a professional english translator, instead I'm going to have a dead-end job where I won't be happy.

 

[moonbits]

Relations can be soo messy sometimes, i understand how you feel and to be honest that sentiment of being crushed doesn't go easily. BUT, you are not less of a man, less mature, a pussy or any of that. You are important and i hope life gets better for you

Thank you, it's honestly soul destroying to be pushed to do something you did not want to. I know relationships take effort, work and commitment but she didn't display any of those qualities in her daily life. I didn't see it.. I fooled myself.

Post automatically merged: Jan 7, 2025

Sometimes I feel like a burden to my parents, I feel like I don't have a future, I'm too afraid of becoming poor and having to work like a slave, i feel like i'll never get my dream job as a professional english translator, instead I'm going to have a dead-end job where I won't be happy.

You are not. You can make it. Small steps now, write down a plan. It's never too late.