This radical episode is going to be in two parts, with the first 4 titles being in this first article, then another 4 in the second and the final 3 being in the finale. I maybe could have cut back on some ranting to squeeze another game in here, but these games are so good I need to go off about X-Men and The Punisher.
These games are the crème de la crème of the licensed market. While the home consoles suffered major quality whiplash as we’ve seen so far in this series, the arcade games ate. We have the fighting games, the beat ‘em ups, the…that’s really it, but that’s okay. Maybe it’s indicative of 6 of these 11 games all being Capcom projects back when they were dominating and on the top of their game.
Speaking of Capcom fighting games, I was originally torn on including the legendary Vs. series here. Sure, they feature Marvel characters, but they crossover with the companies own characters. Is it still a Marvel game if it’s only half Marvel characters? Ultimately, I decided to include them; I had already previously included the very catchily titled crossover Iron Man and X.O Manowar in Heavy Metal, so they should still be in there. Plus, if I didn’t include them, there’d be like 6 games. My next decision was how hard to go on the reviews for the fighting games here.
I’m a pretty heavy Capcom fighting game player- one of my earliest gaming memories was trying to figure out how to do the Honda handslaps in the SNES version of Street Fighter 2. My longest total play time of a video game that I’m aware of is around 3200+ hours of Street Fighter 4 across its many iterations on my original Xbox 360 account; I spent more time in the Marvel vs Capcom 3 training mode then I think I’ve spent playing entire other games. But, for the purpose of this more general retrospective series, I think I won’t go so deep into the actual fighting game mechanics of MvC1 or Children of the Atom. Maybe that could come another time, in a more dedicated article- this is instead a score based review series after all of the games as a whole, and not based on the depth of specifically its fighting game mechanics. Also, I would only be fighting against computer opponents for this article and there isn’t much to learn from or explain about the frankly complete bull**** enemy AI in old Capcom fighting games.
With that out of the way, let’s get into the first game; the forgotten Spider-Man arcade beat ‘em up, and weirdly enough the only one.
Spider-Man: The Video Game
Year: 1991Publisher: Sega
Developer: Sega
Platform: Sega System 32
It's actively vexed me for longer than it should why there wasn't another Spider-Man centric arcade beat ‘em up like this. I suppose it's likely due to the dwindling arcade scene at this point and the rise of home consoles, as there are of course a metric ton of Spider-Man console games; we both know this, I've played a bunch and you've read about it. It's a shame, but at least we have the decent Spider-Man: The Video Game.
The game is simple but effective, seeing you fight mooks and various villains across it's maybe slightly too long playtime. You can play as the webhead himself as well as Black Cat, Namor and Hawkeye; weirdly two characters who I think Spider-Man has interacted with the least which is saying a lot as Spider-Man got around when it came to team ups and crossovers.
You have an attack button, a jump button, and have a super move by hitting both your buttons together- the holy trinity of beat ‘em up controls. There's some cool stuff you can do, such as hitting the attack button at the height of your jump to do a diving attack, but it's as simple as it gets here. It controls well as and feels responsive so it gets a passing grade- that's already better than 80% of the previous Spider-Man games we've seen.
This was also back when a good number of beat ‘em ups had numerical health values as opposed to a bar, and also where the ‘give us your quarters’ energy comes into play here. You lose health every couple of seconds like your health is a timer or something, and health pickups are fairly infrequent. This means, very clearly spelled out to the players, that they want your quarters. This is nothing new of course, but just seeing your health visibly drain because you haven’t put a quarter in is maybe a little too overt.
Remember to always remind the supervillains of their place in life; getting slammed into the ground like the nerds they are.
Spider-Man: The Video Game’s real issue is just how slow it is to play. You move slowly, you attack slowly, enemies get up from the ground slowly- it’s slowness personified. Even some of the lowliest mooks you fight, from typical looking ruffians to mask-wearing ninjas looking like they’re trying to cosplay as Shy Guys, can require upwards of 5 or 6 attacks sometimes to defeat. This means you’re going to spend a lot of time watching them slowly get up, then slowly walking over to them, then slowly attacking them. If the game had more going on gameplay wise, it wouldn’t be so bad. It’s not unplayable bad, just slow.
Something new the game does have is parts of levels where the camera zooms out and becomes a sort of platforming shoot ‘em up, seeing your now smaller sprite walk and climb across the backgrounds while blasting enemies with your projectiles. It reminds me of the Shinobi games, just with a more zoomed out camera. There’s a good number of these sections, and they’re good fun. There’s even some bosses you encounter in these sections, but there isn’t much to them considering you can just blast them away pretty quickly.
He may be a king, and a sorcerer, and a genius, but Doom is also a nerd- time to throw him to the ground.
Something about the game that deserves some praise is the sense of style and aesthetic. It aims to emulate a comic book look with its sprites, complete with illustration style shading, hard figure outlines and bright colours. It also uses the classic speech bubbles, and I think it pulls it off. It stands out more from other beat ‘em ups with it’s large sprites and has a unique look to it, and captures the energy of a comic book very well.
Dr Doom’s greatest power- conveniently having it always be a Doombot whenever he's defeated. Where's Squirrel Girl when you need her?
Overall, I don’t think the game is bad- just once again merely serviceable. It is a little too long I think for how simplistic the gameplay is, but the art style and energy of it could make up for it. You could play much worse, or much better. But if you’re looking for something new from a comic book arcade beat ‘em up, maybe give it a go.
Score
3 Thwips out of 5.
Captain America and the Avengers
Year: 1991Publisher: Data East
Developer: Data East
Platform: Arcade
The time has finally come. I can’t delay it any longer. The game that has infected every article in this series so far, wasting away the final score through a complete lack of quality control. Now we’re seeing its original form. Is it an ugly thing, repulsive in its horrid visage? Or is it beautiful, resplendent in its fiery purity? The answer reverberates, a thunderous cacophony in an empty hall; ‘eh’.
What? What does that mean, and why is it a question? Why is the Vision posed so sassily?
The original strain is completely playable. It doesn’t have any egregious control or hit detection issues like every other version we’ve encountered so far, and I would even go so far as to say it controls well. You can dash by hitting a direction twice, something sorely missing from Spider-Man: The Video Game, and you can clear the whole screen practically in a single jump. In that way, its captured the feel of super heroes jumping and bounding around.
Once again, you have a jump button and an attack button and when you hit both together you shoot a projectile. Something that is different in this from other contemporaries is that this ‘special move’ projectile isn’t invincible, and it doesn’t drain any health (once again a numerical value) to use. In this way it feels pretty natural to use both your melee attack and your projectile together in a flowing way. Most of the characters also have an aerial projectile they can use, and it comes together to actually be a pretty fun simple combat system of throwing dudes around, jumping through the air and throwing shields and/or laser blasts at enemies. I never expected this- I actually found myself enjoying Captain America and the Avengers.
Grim Reaper, more like ‘Nerd Reaper’. You know what he deserves; throw him onto the ground.
The game breaks up its simplistic brawling with side scrolling shooter sections for some variety, seeing your hero start flying around and blasting enemies and some giant size bosses. I like how everyone but Vision and Iron Man have to get a jetpack and little space helmet for these sections- imagine not being able to fly as part of your powers and/or super suit. My favourite of these side scrolling bosses? ‘Mech. Taco’. I don’t know why he’s called a taco, or if that’s just his actual unfortunate name.
I’m also confused by the period between ‘mech’ and ‘taco’. I have many questions about this game's dialogue and names.
The soundtrack is nothing special, but the sound quality on the bits of spoken dialogue is actually fairly impressive given the year. I wouldn’t have been surprised if hearing an actually intelligible “For Freedom!” or “The Avengers!” coming from the cabinet could have attracted some people to check the game out back in the arcade days. It is only Cap that’s technically speaking as none of the other characters have their own lines, but still- credit for the impressive voice sound quality.
I never thought this would happen. I was dreading coming to this moment, but here I am about to say something that I never would have expected- this was fun. Not amazing or groundbreaking, but competent and fun. Honestly, just the fact that this was competent means it wins realistically, as the other ports of this game were actual garbage. There’s still one version left ahead of us though, still one cancerous tumour to attach itself to the final score of another article: the SNES and Genesis version. Will the 16-bit mega power make a difference? God help me.
Score
3 Shields out of 5.
X-Men
Year: 1992Publisher: Konami
Developer: Konami
Platform: Arcade
What is there to say about this absolute classic? It’s bright, high energy, chaotic and filled with memorably bad translations- the perfect arcade game. Every time I play this, I call out to the heavens in undulation like Colossus does whenever he uses his special in the game. Apparently according to Konami, his special mutant power is yelling. If you’ve heard the sound, I hope you hear it in your head every time you read HUEEEEAGH in this article.
HUEAAAAGH! He yells so loud he explodes, as he should.
The game sees you play as one of six X-Men members; you have Cyclops, Wolverine, Storm (wielding a tiny staff for some reason?), Nightcrawler, Colossus, and everyone's favourite character, Dazzler. You remember Dazzler, right?
She was created to try and cash in on the ‘disco’ craze, and to try and have a series of branded records. She was pushed by Marvel for a very long time, despite her never really catching on. Here she is fighting some mechanical birds- Magneto made these, apparently.
The gameplay is as basic of a beat ‘em up as you can get, having an attack button, a jump button, a basic directional throw maneuver and a special button that uses your mutant power. You can also attack enemies on the ground when they’ve been knocked down, and throwing enemies around then stomping on them is a lot of fun. The mutant powers are all universally a big screen clearing move best used when you start getting overwhelmed by the amount of enemies, which you will. Enemies occasionally drop ‘mutant power orbs’ that grant you one use of your mutant power for free…depending on which game region you’re playing. I say ‘occasionally’ about the power orbs as, regardless of which region you’re playing, enemies never drop them in single player for some reason; you do get start with an orb whenever you respawn at least.
If you’re ever ambushed by a red plated mini sentinel, my recommendation is to knock them down then jump repeatedly on their crotch. It never fails.
This leads into an interesting fact about this game, which is the regional differences between the US version and the Japanese version. In the US version, for some reason you use your health first to use your mutant power, even if you have a mutant power orb; then, after going down to your last few bars of health, then you’ll use your mutant power orbs. It’s frankly nonsensical, and sort of defeats the purpose of having a ‘free’ power up in the first place. In the Japanese version, you will use the power up first then your health, which is the way you’d think that would work. The Japanese version is also flat out easier with you dealing more damage and attacking faster, and bosses having less health. That’s right, X-Men the arcade game is the only game I can think of where the Japanese version is easier- perhaps this is owed to the fact that the US version was developed first, and ported to Japan in a strange twist of the formula.
Konami’s international corporate structure at this point was very dense and convoluted, and it’s no surprise that the game turned out the way it did.
The game is also a complete and utter quarter munching machine, with the bosses specifically frequently gaining seemingly random invincibility and counter attacks. You can’t hold that against the game, that’s just the way it was at this point in arcade history.
When the nonsense and completely stacked against you boss rush section happens, just give them the HUEAAAAGH.
Time to clear something up- the game is not based on the 90’s X-Men cartoon which is an easy thing to assume given that they both came out at essentially the same time. It's not even really technically based on the comics; it’s actually based on the failed 1989 TV show pilot Pryde of the X-Men, which was the first attempt to bring the team to the cartoon world. For whatever reason, despite the show failing to land a network, Konami saw that unaired pilot two years later somehow and was like “this is the X-Men, let’s do it”. You can tell by the distinct Kitty Pryde appearance in this game being identical to the one from the pilot, and the fact that Dazzler is in the team line-up and wearing her jacketed costume. It fortunately doesn't include the inexplicable Australian accent that Wolverine had in the pilot (due to him never speaking in the game), which was the second instance of him having an inexplicable Australian accent in a cartoon.
Play X-Men, man. It’s as good as the ol’ simplistic arcade beat ‘em ups can get, and is a hell of time for the maybe half hour it’ll take for you to play through it. This game was cathartic to play. It's like I crawled into a nice bath and washed away all memories of the absolutely horrid X-Men games that came before. I needed this, man.
Score
4 X-Genes out of 5.
The Punisher
Year: 1993Publisher: Capcom
Developer: Capcom
Platform: CP System I 'Dash'
Does the Punisher have a bad game? He only has 3, technically 4 if you count the GB version of the NES game as its own thing, but each one is an absolute banger. This has to be a record amongst other Marvel characters. Frank’s just that good, man.
The Punisher is a classic Capcom beat ‘em up, one that I feel has been lost a little bit amongst the company's other games but one that deserves to be talked about up there with the giants. This game is just sheer fun, letting you indiscriminately annihilate never ending hordes of goons and mooks; just like Frank would have wanted.
The game sees you play as either the Punisher himself, or Nick Fury wearing a very comfy looking turtleneck sweater if you're the second player. The storyline is nothing new, taking elements from the character’s various stories up until that point. You’re trying to take down the Kingpin, you fight some other of the anti-heroes' rogues gallery such as Bushwacker and a giant robot; you know, that robot he famously fights.
You don’t remember ‘Guardroid’? Are you even a comic fan?
The gameplay follows the same tried and true formula of the Capcom beat ‘em up. You have an attack button, and a jump button, and hitting them together lets you perform a special invincible move at the expense of some of your health. You can pick up temporary weapons to deal some damage ala Final Fight, and can grab opponents to throw them around. If you double tap a direction, you do a wicked tactical roll and can finish with a sweet side kick. Frank's got some moves.
Punisher War Journal, Entry #37; fought more humanoid grabby robots in an elevator, don't know what that's about or who's makin' them, and don't rightly care. Found some ground pudding after the fight, food's just lying everywhere lately. Sometimes this city is generous.
There are some unique additions to this game, however. The greatest? At certain points of each stage, you automatically pull out a semi automatic pistol with infinite ammo and just start blasting. It’s never for very long, but it definitely captures the spirit of the character and breaks up the standard fighting and is just plain ol’ fun. Who doesn’t want to just start blastin’ criminals as the Punisher?
Depending on what you’re currently doing, performing a special move will do a variety of different things. If you hit it when grabbing someone, for example, you’ll spin them around to hit other enemies and then throw them away like the garbage criminal they are. If you hit it in the air, you’ll toss a grenade; the Frank special, the aerial grenade drop maneuver. The game is of course a quarter muncher, but it’s so fun that you won’t even notice. The graphics? I mean, it's a 90’s Capcom arcade game so they’re expertly done, and full of small little touches and animations. I love how Frank’s idle stance is him clenching his fists like he just cannot wait to punch the next gratuitously evil criminal.
You’re the Punisher- you don’t just slam supervillains into the ground, you blow them up with frag grenades instead.
The game is a masterclass of beat ‘em up action, and more than that I think a perfect example of how to make a licensed game. It perfectly captures the spirit of the character while still delivering an incredible game alongside it. How accurate is it? After beating the first stage boss, Punisher grabs him then just shoots him in the face once he says some info; it was actually a fairly controversial scene and one they ended up censoring from the Genesis port, but that’s the Punisher.
The guy had to have been new to town or something for thinking Frank was actually going to let him go if he talked.
Absolutely play this one. It's the most amount of fun you can have pretending you're a violent psychopath with obvious mental instability issues.
Score
5 Uzis out of 5.
And there we go, the first four cracked out. I had more fun with this article then the rest of the earlier ones combined, and that was just largely because of X-Men and The Punisher. What's next on the arcade list? Why, just some of the most influential and popular 2D fighting games, so it's going to be another sanity restoring cruise through some great games. Maybe the third article will be too- maybe the lowest scored game among the arcade games will be a 3. Can you imagine? After suffering Mutant Wars and Mutant Academy and Uncanny X-Men and two other versions of Captain America and the Avengers and Return of the Sinister Six and- sorry, right, my insanity was cured in this article. Yup, glad there's nothing ahead that's going to be terrible and ruin the vibes.
First up next time? X-Men: Children of the Atom. The launching point for the whole Capcom Vs. series and their licensed Marvel fighting games. Hell. Yeah.
Until next time, true believers.
, love that kind of running gag
