Is saying "whom" pretentious?

[Ikagura Ikagura]

Sometimes I feel that even if it's grammatically correct to employ that instead of "who" it may sound pompous to others.

Assuming you're using it correctly:

From touro.edu:

Below are two tricks for how to figure out whether

The commonly repeated advice for remembering whether to use who or whom is this: If you can replace the word with he or she or another subject pronoun, use who. If you can replace it with him or her (or another object pronoun), use whom. One way to remember this trick is that both him and whom end with the letter m.

For example:
[Who/Whom] do you love? Do you love him? You would not say, “Do you love he?” So, whom is correct.
[Who/Whom] writes the songs? He writes the songs. You would not say, “Him writes the songs.”
Therefore, who is correct.

 

[Stingy Perry Stingy Perry]

I barely use that one. I mostly use who, who’s or whose whenever the time needs for it.

 

[Ikagura Ikagura]

I barely use that one. I mostly use who, who’s or whose whenever the time needs for it.

I remember my English teacher telling me to put "whom" because I've answered to a question with "who" at the end. I took the habit to employ it only at the end of a sentence (yet I didn't know about the other contexts).

 

[fake-kun]

Even if it is, who gives a shit? Speak whatever way you want, with an obvious exception for saying slurs.

 

[TamagotchiTamaHero24's icon TamagotchiTamaHero24 TamagotchiTamaHero24]

To give an actual answer, no? It’s really not UNLESS YOU’RE MEAN ABOUT IT. Tone is a major component of communication, regardless of the language or medium. This is a major component of internet communication devolving into flame wars so often, and it’s been studied for decades: it’s hard to tell through text alone what the tone is.

I think there’s also a time and a place. To me, whom implies a sophistication. If the conversation is casual to any degree, it’ll come off as out of place. So, I’d recommend using it mainly during more formal conversation. Probably refrain from using it on good ol’ RGT, since the tone here is always casual to some extent.

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Even if it is, who gives a shit? Speak whatever way you want, with an obvious exception for saying slurs.

I also agree with this. I’d act cautious during text conversations, people not being able to tell the tone and all, but in person the only thing you have to worry about is harming the other person. Hopefully, if you have any good standing with them, they’ll tell you. And I really don’t expect using “whom” to harm anybody.