General is back! And I want to give my two cents on this thread:
I sometimes find peace by challenging myself to express empathy even when it’s really hard. Sometimes I can. I try to tone down my inherent reactiveness by reminding myself the hardest thing I’ll ever have to do is stay kind to a world I continue to want the best from. And that everyone is full of hope and love and hurt and pain just like me. Imagine someone you hate eating an ice cream cone alone. It kind of makes my chest hurt, makes it harder to be angry.
When I can’t do that, I reject peace. Sometimes rejecting peace and being the person to say “NO”, “STOP” or “I won’t allow you to get away with that” is the best way to maintain the peace and dignity of others and yourself. Luckily, that’s infrequent. For example, I’m estranged from my family—I had to protect my peace by leaving. I’ll quietly allow them to remain the people they are without further challenge, and show myself compassion by having no part in it. I’d say everybody wins but….sometimes people don’t get to win. Sometimes losing is peaceful. I also play a lot of Tetris, punch and yell into pillows so I don’t break things again, dissociate on the stairclimber, or lift.
I’m still trying to figure peace out. I think for me, it helps to acknowledge life will never be consistently peaceful, and remaining at peace is not only a lifelong effort, but deeply personal and varies. I think to truly be at peace, you can’t suppress or neglect your anger. Your anger is a part of you that reacts to injustices and compels you to act, ignoring this will breed resentment toward the world and yourself. I listen to my Anger as a divine compass, but I have to use my head and my very deliberate and practiced patience to address the situation. And sometimes I just crash out. Alone, usually, preferably.
Peace is something I want badly and have been through hell and back trying to find. But it always gets away from us I think because it’s like an angel that can’t be held.