Husband wants to become a real hitman after 100%ing Hitman 3 on PS4 recently. Need good counter arguments.

[CaptainToad]

He keeps pwning me in debate when I tell him it's a bad idea. After getting home from work today he had hidden himself in the front coat closet and said he could have killed me 12 different ways before I even took off my shoes. I'm having trouble disproving this. He's not employed right now and has few other skills other than gaming, so saying he should do another job didn't work.

Need help. I can see him taping a little laser pointer to a GunCon 2 in the living room.

 

[RanmyakuIchi's icon RanmyakuIchi RanmyakuIchi]

Make him play the Ace Attorney games, put him on a more constructive path.

 

[ATenderLad]

Actions speak louder than words; beat his ass every time he steps into a dark room, with a sock full of quarters. Remember to holler "Target spotted!" or "The shadows betray you!" between each swing. He'll grow out of that shit in a week, promise.

 

[MasterEn]

one up him by playing metal gear solid 1-5.
cqc his ass before he even speaks and then wax philosophically about love blossoming on the battlefield before he can get up.

 

[bjork]

Yeah, the answer is definitely beat him at his own game. When he nods off, ziptie his hands together and tape his mouth and say, "even hitmen have to sleep eventually"

 

[CaptainToad]

He said he

Make him play the Ace Attorney games, put him on a more constructive path.

He said could kill Phoenix Wright and make it look like a suicide involving some kind of convoluted exploding camera contraption or something.

Actions speak louder than words; beat his ass every time he steps into a dark room, with a sock full of quarters. Remember to holler "Target spotted!" or "The shadows betray you!" between each swing. He'll grow out of that shit in a week, promise.

He said he'll carry a sock full of heavier Canadian $1 loonies and do the same back to me. He already has gotten shirts printed that look like our wallpaper and carpets and blends in really well. I fear he will out-sneak me.

 

[fake-chan]

At this point, you should just divorce his ass.

 

[Yousef Yousef]

I’m sorry, I can only provide arguments that supports your spouse. However, do let him know not to try anything funny with me. Several hitmen were sent after me, all have failed.

 

[Noir_Angel]

Tell him: you gotta go bald for it. Are ready to make that sacrifice?

 

[ATenderLad]

He said he'll carry a sock full of heavier Canadian $1 loonies and do the same back to me. He already has gotten shirts printed that look like our wallpaper and carpets and blends in really well. I fear he will out-sneak me.

It's already advanced this far...

Leave a dummy made of pillows and a mop in your bed, along with plastique and a pressure trigger set to blow when he tries to garrotte the decoy spouse.

Watch the flaming rubble for movement. If he still pops up behind you and whispers in your ear, he's ready to go pro. If he whispers a quip - like "Home is where the Dart is" before he tranq's you - then honey, you can quit your job.

 

[Karnik]

I fully support him! He will earn good money, and he already has someone there to practice with... ???‍

 

[IDMTINP]

and then wax philosophically about love blossoming on the battlefield before he can get up.

You mean love blooming on the battlefield.

 

[CaptainToad]

Tell him: you gotta go bald for it. Are ready to make that sacrifice?

He said he was already considering shaving his hair to make wearing various wig disguises easier.

 

[Noir_Angel]

He said he was already considering shaving his hair to make wearing various wig disguises easier.

damn, with all this prepare he might just become Batman already

 

[Cu-Neo]

Tell him, that he is going to run a lot ?

 

[CaptainToad]

And he will not have time to play games at all.

This is what convinced him. Thanks.

 

[RageBurner]

Tell him that real life doesn't have autosave.

 

[Egg (McMuffin) Man]

You should keep a spray bottle nearby and squirt him with it when he talks about wanting to become a hitman

 

[MasterEn]

You mean love blooming on the battlefield.

been awhile since i played the game; couldn't remember the quote right off the top of my head.
thanks.

 

[IDMTINP]

been awhile since i played the game; couldn't remember the quote right off the top of my head.
thanks.

No worries I’m mostly trolling!

 

[PrismRed]

This is a perfect opportunity, what are you doing? Just direct him toward mundane activities and you gonna have an obedient husband for life.

Good morning my husband, your destination today is a local Target few blocks from our current rendezvous point, one of many supermarket chains. Your objective is to get a frozen turkey from the meat section, an essential part of thanksgiving dinner, however you are not the only one looking to get their hands on it, this might seem like an impossible challenge considering the amount of adversaries you have to face but then again I know you love a challenge. Quickly secure the package and leave the premise silently.
I will leave you to prepare.
Good luck, husband.

There, now go bug him to play more Hitman, I suggest him to try World of Assassinations.

 

[Tbest25]

Let the man be what he must become. Those higher-ups not going to "disappear" by themselves.

 

[Yukyon]

Tell him not to bother, he won't ever get to 100% real-life hitman