How do you solve the "communication stalemate"?

[Waffles's iconWaffles]

Much as we would rather not to, my friends and I have all settled in deeply exclusive routines: we work a lot, come home to our loving families, oversee our personal, one-plot empires and then try to squeeze in enough entertainment not to kill ourselves on the spot (usually in the form of watching something mindless on Netflix or YouTube).

But if there's something that we are definitely not doing is reaching out to each other, even though tools like Facebook, Discord or Whatsapp make it a breeze in a way that nothing before ever managed to accomplish... It really does seem that no-one wants to be the "annoying" one that messages at the wrong moment and forces everyone else to reply when they'd much rather sit motionless for hours on-end -- therein lies the problem.

What's y'all's approach to this? Is there any of you who always braves breaking the silence? Is it random? Do you "save" all your communication for IRL encounters instead? Is it even a problem for you? It may not be.

Anyway... Please, discuss.

 

[bjork]

If I have their number, I shoot them a text. If I only know them online, DMs get it done. I figure no one is forced to reply, because everyone has their own lives, but it takes two seconds to break the ice and show interest. Worst they can say is like 'fuck off I hate you' and then you don't have to worry about breaking the ice again.

 

[DinoRexMax]

What a question,.

But don't mind me, I'm just chiming in, hoping that someone finds the answer...

 

[LiberoVulpesLiberoVulpes's icon]

We just send memes on group chat, sometimes its me, other times is one of my friends, sometimes we end up chatting for a bit about what we are doing/working on, or about something we are playing/watching/reading, other times, we just laugh to each other's memes, and that's that.

Its ridiculous to overthink something that simple.

 

[Kamako]

One of my best friends lives less than a 5 min walk from me, and I haven't seen or spoken to them in about 3 months now. And that's absolutely fine. I know they're trying to make a life for themselves. My love for them hasn't diminished one bit.

 

[medisinn]

One person gives in, I guess. A friendly war of attrition. Or...neither one does, and rot sets in. A lot of my friendships have decayed not through the bridge being burned, but rather through the mildew of inactivity. I'm not a person that thinks to share a meme or joke, but that could be a good way to break the ice and show that person you're thinking of them.

 

[PacGuy]

Every few years I'll get incredibly drunk and hop on facebook, tell people I love em, and then disappear for another few years. I keep to myself by design. The only friends I respect live in different states than me and are from my time in the army, we keep in touch still but not as much as before, people move on and have families and try to put all that bullshit behind them.
The people I hung out with in high school are all shady as hell, because that's who I was as a person at the time, and they never really changed (Not that I have changed much either, but at least I know I'm not going to rip myself off).

 

[kbcinharoxa kbcinharoxa]

Well, at the moment my friends and I are pretty “active” when it comes to staying in touch. They’re either in college or working, and the same goes for me — I work and go to the gym, and when I get home I just start playing games until it’s time to sleep, then repeat the cycle.
And whether I like it or not, I’m slowly becoming the kind of friend who “doesn’t text first.” It’s not because I don’t want to, you know? I realized recently — damn — a lot of people actually like me. I have many friends, like, so many that it feels like I have to split my time between all of them.

One friend invites me to play Hytale, another calls me to Roblox, another one invites me to Minecraft. And the issue isn’t really the games themselves, it’s… all of this. Dividing time. Time is really tight these days, especially when you’re a tired “adult.” And I say tired in quotes because my job is “easy,” you know? Office work.

I get home after the gym and all I want is to isolate myself from the world, but I put that aside to play with some friends. “Why not bring everyone together?” Well… I’ve already tried, and they don’t really get along :,v

And I’ve also always been kind of a loner, you know? Especially at the beginning of my childhood. I was always fine playing by myself, or even preferred being alone — no one to play video games with or anything like that. But of course, sometimes having one or two friends around is just too good :)

So yeah… I don’t think I actually answered the main question of the post, but this is how my situation is right now. And sometimes I feel like Scott Pilgrim, my god.

EDIT:
Maybe there’s some kind of help or advice for people like this. Just… go for it. Follow your heart. If you don’t do anything, who will? Time? Them? Who can guarantee that? In the end, it all depends on you :)
If they’re truly your friends, they won’t mind. They might laugh, they might vent, you know? Sometimes you can genuinely make someone’s day better just by saying “hi.” And that’s what’s incredible about human beings — or better yet… about life itself.


You know? :D Simple things.
Well… that’s it.

 

[Merchant]

Much as we would rather not to, my friends and I have all settled in deeply exclusive routines: we work a lot, come home to our loving families, oversee our personal, one-plot empires and then try to squeeze in enough entertainment not to kill ourselves on the spot (usually in the form of watching something mindless on Netflix or YouTube).

But if there's something that we are definitely not doing is reaching out to each other, even though tools like Facebook, Discord or Whatsapp make it a breeze in a way that nothing before ever managed to accomplish... It really does seem that no-one wants to be the "annoying" one that messages at the wrong moment and forces everyone else to reply when they'd much rather sit motionless for hours on-end -- therein lies the problem.

What's y'all's approach to this? Is there any of you who always braves breaking the silence? Is it random? Do you "save" all your communication for IRL encounters instead? Is it even a problem for you? It may not be.

Anyway... Please, discuss.

If people ignore Ur on socials or phone number, it's easy to just assume they don't like you. But from experience, it's a lot more likely they just have stuff going on. There's gonna be times where people actually are of course, but it's important not to stress over people who aren't interested in being friends. There's people who I would want to question as to their lack of contact, but being like that makes it less likely they going to have a good time if U met in person. Just send a message and see if the get back, don't send lots of messages or anything or assume until you actually hangout.

 

[Clippy]

Talking to people? In this economy?

 

[Merchant]

Talking to people? In this economy?
View attachment 148002

Yeah screw talking to people, that's for loners! *Proceeds to use a forum, used for speaking to people; for hours.

 

[yourdemise]

Just be honest and say that you'd like to hang out more but you don't know how busy they are or what they'd like. Then they can tell you what they're thinking and you haven't put any more demand on them than just replying saying what they'd like.