Often it happens that you have “that” game from your childhood that you remember fondly as the best thing ever. You’re an adult now, and your tastes and mentality are different. Nonetheless, you cling to the idea that “that” game from your childhood is still good and that you’re not being trolled by memory. You download an emulator and a ROM, because technology is faulty and deteriorates over time. Also, you happen to have lost your cartridge, or CD, or DVD, whatever. Classic. You boot up the game. You bask in the nostalgia. You immerse yourself in that music that you remember so much, that sometimes pops into your mind and makes you happy for a few minutes. You play for 10 minutes. All is good. You play for 1 hour. You get bored. Turns out, the game was mid as hell. Even worse, it was bad, really bad. You delete the ROM and move on with your life. You tell your wife that memory is a fickle thing and that things were better before. You get sad, because you no longer experience childlike wonder. Tomorrow is a new day, and you have to get ready to work. Unless you’re a NEET.
Well, too bad, because that doesn’t apply to Hamtaro: Ham-Ham Heartbreak! It kicked ass back then and it still kicks ass now. Join me on this journey and discover the purity and charm of this group of rodents.
FIRST OF ALL, WHAT IS HAMTARO?
No two hamsters are alike, both in personality and design.
Hamtaro is a manga series by Ritsuko Kawai which didn’t have a long run. According to Wikipedia, there are three different manga. I didn’t read them so I couldn’t tell you if they are related or not. What’s important is the anime adaptation, which had a bigger run with several seasons and even came out of Japan. Hamtaro stars the eponymous Hamtaro. He is a hamster, and a cute one! And he has cute hamster friends! All of the hamsters in Hamtaro are normal hamsters: they have owners, don’t speak, run on wheels, eat seeds and sleep. However, things change when their owners aren’t present, as they all gather together in the Ham-Ham Club (led by the hamster Boss) and go on adventures to save the hamster day. And, let me tell you, these hamsters can communicate and use tools, just like humans! But only when said humans aren’t present. For the most part, the episodes involve a problem that Hamtaro and the gang have to solve. The stakes are usually very low, because the series are targeted for children, although sometimes there’s the danger of a looming cat. There are tons of hamsters, but the most important ones are the following:
- Hamtaro, the protagonist. He is brave, kind and caring.
- Bijou, the love interest of Hamtaro. In Spain we call her Lacitos (Little Ribbons). Her most noticeable trait is that she is extremely cute, even by hamster standards, and sports two little, blue ribbons on her head.
- Boss, a rugged hamster who acts as the leader of the Ham-Ham Club. He is tough and brave and has a one-sided crush on Bijou. He is also one of the few hamsters without an owner.
BREAKING HEARTS LEFT AND RIGHT
Whenever two hamsters who love each other are fighting, what do we do? That's right, we intervene without their consent!
And then Hamtaro wakes up, drenched in cold sweat. Boss is there and reassures him that it was only a nightmare and that it’s all fine. After composing himself, Hamtaro heads downstairs and Boss tells him to go find Bijou, who is missing in Sunny Peak. Before going, though, Hamtaro messes up by accidentally dropping water in the Official Ham-Ham Dictionary, which holds all of the important hamster words. Only the most basic ones are saved, somehow. No matter, though, since Boss immediately teaches Hamtaro four basic words which will be vital in this adventure: Hamha, to greet other hamsters, Hif-hif, to smell stuff, Dig-dig, to dig holes and Tack-Q, to tackle stuff. With these four important words, Hamtaro is ready to look for Bijou. Upon reaching the Sunny Peak, all is chaos: couples are arguing, Bijou is trapped between rocks and… wait, is that the devil hamster for the dream? Is he real?!
A POCKET ADVENTURE FOR EVERYONE OF ALL AGES
Learning words is paramount for progress, although not all words are used for the puzzles.
One thing I really enjoy about this game is how it tackles difficulty. The game is very much designed for kids, so there’s no health bar and, therefore, you can’t really lose. You can get stuck, which will happen because of the puzzly nature of the game. Fortunately, it’s not that difficult to find out how to proceed, because of two factors:
- A hamster named Snoozer, who is always at the Ham-Ham Club, will give you very easy to understand clues about what you should do at each stage.
- Each stage is usually small and doesn’t have many things to interact with, so you can brute force your way out of every problem.
CUTE, CUTE, CUTE!
YOUR HONOR, NOTHING MORE TO SAY.
The music is on the same boat: every song is cute, catchy and fits the theme of the stage. The happy-go-lucky tune of Sunny Peaks, the coolness of Sandy Bay, the wild, mysterious beats of the Wild Woods and the evil but not-so-evil theme of Spat, the main antagonist. All songs are memorable and very well composed, sounding extremely well in spite of the sound chip of the GBA.
AN IDEAL WORLD
The sprite work is beautiful, but not as beautiful as the girl reading this.
However, what I’m most impressed with is the fact that they are fun to explore. All of the stages are very compact, but there’s always something of relevance in each screen, whether it’s an item to interact with or a hamster to talk to. I think my favorite is Fun Land because of the rides (you can actually ride on them and, while it doesn’t give you anything, they still bothered doing cutscenes for them), while my least favorite is probably Wild Woods because it’s the most “convoluted” (or at least as convoluted as Ham-Ham Heartbreak can get). The best part is that since they are very compact, it’s not hard to find out what’s the next thing you have to do. Sometimes, however, you’ll have to backtrack to some of these stages, and I don’t mean “come back much later when you have the proper word”. Rather, sometimes you’ll have to trigger certain flags to progress in a stage, and usually those flags are in other places (mostly related to fixing a couple’s problems). This is probably the only thing I really don’t like about this game. Notwithstanding, this is something minor in comparison to everything the game does right.
FINAL SQUEAKS
This is how they learn to swim, I think.
Hamtaro: Ham-Ham Heartbreak is pure joy and happiness, no matter if you’re a whimsy child or a grumpy adult. The cozy and cute adventures of the rodents are genetically engineered to make you have a good time, whether it’s just for a few minutes or from start to finish. In comparison to its predecessor, Ham-Hams Unite!, Heartbreak is much more polished and barely has any flaws, and the few that it has are a bunch of nothing that don’t matter in the end.
Pros
- + Impossible levels of cute.
- + Good difficulty for both children and adults alike.
- + Good sprite-based graphics.
- + Good chiptune music.
- + Not too long, not too short.
- + Very fun in spite of its simplicity.
Cons
- - Some minor, albeit annoying backtracking.
10
Gameplay
In spite of its simplicity, the gameplay loop of Hamtaro works wonderfully, and is very easy to get hooked.
10
Graphics
Animations are expressive, backgrounds are well designed, art style is cute and remarkable.
8
Story
Far from being a literary masterpiece, Hamtaro: Ham-Ham Heartbreak has a fun story that stands out for its cuteness and keeps you hooked.
8
Sound
The songs are very good, but are unfortunately held back by the sound chip of the GBA. I bet this would sound amazing on the DS.
6
Replayability
Definitely Heartbreak's weaker field, as there's not much reason to revisit after beating it other than nostalgia. A lack of a meaningful post game content doesn't help, either.
8.4
out of 10
Overall
Hamtaro: Ham-Ham Heartbreak is just what you need when you want to chill after a horrible day. Screw Stardew Valley and Animal Crossing, this is where it's at. A real game for real men. Children can go play their God of Wars or whatever.