Guilt Over Not Playing Games/Consoles I Own - Not Being Able to Enjoy Gaming

[HTBandicoot]

Sorry for my strange questions, but thanks for making me feel welcome and answering them all so far! In a way, this is similar to a previous post of mine.

I’m more aware recently of how games make me feel and what they do to my mental health. I often find myself aggravated trying to advance on old games that are too hard for me. So I end up quitting and more frustrated sometimes. It’s probably also not good for my self-confidence to constantly fail at most of what I try to play.

I think I have a guilt that I need to play the many old games that I own already. I see the consoles and games often and think that if I’m gonna play, I need to play what I have already. This is a pressure I don’t think I need to put on myself. It’s hard to escape that thinking though.

Then the other day I played a game through emulation that I had wanted to play for a while. And with this it was different. I got into a flow state and it really improved my mood for the rest of the day. This feeling is rare and I hardly ever feel it when playing the games I own anymore.

So I guess typing this out, I already got my answer what I need to do haha. I probably need to flip around how I play games. I should try to play emulated games more with just the purpose of enjoying the game and experience. And maybe I can play from the consoles once a month or just every now and then.
Even as I say that, I know that I’ll still probably feel guilt when playing emulated games, because of the games I’m not playing that I own. So hopefully I can get over that and give myself more grace and freedom to play and enjoy myself again.

Can anyone relate? (Sorry for venting and journaling in a way )

 

[Waffles]

I don't relate purely because I'm fairly certain that the gaming chapter of my life is drawing to a close... I haven't played a single thing to completion all year, and I haven't been able to throw myself into a game since the before times (2019 and earlier), but I understand where you are coming from. Sometimes one just wants to get some gaming in, and to take advantage of the devises they own to do it with. That's the same mindset that would have me power my dear PS1 on daily as a teen.

 

[Skeetos]

Hell yes I relate. I need to get through Kingdom Come Deliverance and Witcher 3 before the new games come out. But I'll tell you what I told my one homie. Don't force yourself, you won't ever enjoy it that way. Make sure you are really in the mood and are motivated to get through that specific game first before you play it or it'll just piss you off more than usual. I'm trying to make it through Crash 4 right now as I haven't beat it since it came out and it's the only one I haven't 100% yet. I can stomach it because it's what I mainly want to play right now. But if I get to that boiling point I'll just set it down for a while. Don't feel too bad about having to do that. You can come back later refreshed and ready for that action.

 

[SegaManFTW]

I think I get what you mean. Gaming is my favorite art form, but these days its such a struggle to get through my backlog. For example, i've finally started playing Chrono Trigger on the DS after owning it for over a decade. I LOVE the game, but its taken me months to even get through it because of a complete lack of motviation and poor time management.

Part of it is that I think we're all too used to things like social media. Its a lot easier to scroll through Tiktok or YouTube shorts versus engaging with video games that require effort. But i've been having such a good time when I do actually play them. I have put over 24 hours into this Morrowind save file i'm doing, and its probably the most immersed i've been in an RPG in years. Its just getting to the part where I actually turn it on that's the issue.

I think your goal of emulating more and just trying to immerse yourself is a good start. Maybe game for at least an hour a day? If you aren't enjoying yourself by the end, then stop. If you are, then keep going until you're ready to take a break. We only have so much time on this earth, so you should spend it doing things that make you happy.

 

[HTBandicoot]

Hell yes I relate. I need to get through Kingdom Come Deliverance and Witcher 3 before the new games come out. But I'll tell you what I told my one homie. Don't force yourself, you won't ever enjoy it that way. Make sure you are really in the mood and are motivated to get through that specific game first before you play it or it'll just piss you off more than usual. I'm trying to make it through Crash 4 right now as I haven't beat it since it came out and it's the only one I haven't 100% yet. I can stomach it because it's what I mainly want to play right now. But if I get to that boiling point I'll just set it down for a while. Don't feel too bad about having to do that. You can come back later refreshed and ready for that action.

The thing is I’ve never been one to complete or beat a game. I sometimes struggle even on easy modes. If you look at my trophy collection, it’s sad and with small percentages.

That’s why it can be all the more harder to play these games when I make little to no progress at them. That’s why Im hoping to find ones I can enjoy more and not play them just because I own them physically.

 

[MasterEn]

The thing is I’ve never been one to complete or beat a game. I sometimes struggle even on easy modes. If you look at my trophy collection, it’s sad and with small percentages.

That’s why it can be all the more harder to play these games when I make little to no progress at them. That’s why Im hoping to find ones I can enjoy more and not play them just because I own them physically.

what kinds of games do you like to play?

 

[IyoTheHelpfulWolf]

I know how it feels to struggle with motivation. I often have a hard time getting my ass in gear to engage in my hobbies after work had me worn out. It's caused me to drag my ass finishing games and working on my channel, but I find that you can paralyze yourself if you go in the opposite direction and you're too hard on yourself. Just try to find what engages and fulfills you and go from there. Have you tried modding any of your consoles? Then you can play any game you want on them and still use your hardware. If you can find a few things besides doom scrolling that you can do even if you're tired, that's progress. I've been playing Palworld lately when I don't have the energy for anything else.

 

[Boog111]

I know how it feels to struggle with motivation. I often have a hard time getting my ass in gear to engage in my hobbies after work had me worn out. It's caused me to drag my ass finishing games and working on my channel, but I find that you can paralyze yourself if you go in the opposite direction and you're too hard on yourself. Just try to find what engages and fulfills you and go from there. Have you tried modding any of your consoles? Then you can play any game you want on them and still use your hardware. If you can find a few things besides doom scrolling that you can do even if you're tired, that's progress. I've been playing Palworld lately when I don't have the energy for anything else.

You're right. Modded consoles are great. I have several older systems modded. Emulation is good but sometimes there's nothing like playing on original hardware.

 

[HTBandicoot]

what kinds of games do you like to play?

Mostly sports games. Well, they are the ones I can win at at least haha. So I usually play FIFA 16 or NCAA Football 14 for the ps3.

Also recently, I’ve enjoyed playing and learning about some old nes games on the handheld I have. With those, they are great to play in short amounts of time and still are fun.

 

[Patches]

I can relate, but if those games were situationally better I'd be playing them instead.

 

[Rorisu]

The thing is I’ve never been one to complete or beat a game. I sometimes struggle even on easy modes. If you look at my trophy collection, it’s sad and with small percentages.

That’s why it can be all the more harder to play these games when I make little to no progress at them. That’s why Im hoping to find ones I can enjoy more and not play them just because I own them physically.

I think you should not care too much about achievements and trophy collections, and as you said, just play the games you find fun to play.
It's not a question of modern gaming or old gaming after all, it's just the fun that you find in it, there are a lot of fun games that get released even today, but if you play them thinking about the trophy and achievements stuff, i think you will never really enjoy them, if you find some game too hard of unfair, just don't play them, even if you bought them take it like a "i got the wrong game, i should be more carefull next time" and maybe you can always try them later on to see if the games still stress you out, or if it's become more enjoyable with time, sometimes even just the mood you are in can affect your gaming experience, so just relax, and play what you find more enjoyable, gaming is not a challenge, even if some level of challenge could be required to enjoy gaming for some, it's first and foremost a way to have fun, and having fun should ALWAYS be the reason you play a game!!
With that said, i think we can all somehow relate to that, after all there almost always are games in some game saga that are more frustrating than others, so you shouldn't trouble yourself too much about it, and just play what you feel like playing in that moment, and remember that not all games that others play are good or enjoyable, there may be lot of games that you will not like to play because they frustrates you for some reason, while there surely are others that you probably enjoy a lot more than other people, so just make your pick based on what you feel like playing to have fun in that moment!!!

 

[HTBandicoot]

I know how it feels to struggle with motivation. I often have a hard time getting my ass in gear to engage in my hobbies after work had me worn out. It's caused me to drag my ass finishing games and working on my channel, but I find that you can paralyze yourself if you go in the opposite direction and you're too hard on yourself. Just try to find what engages and fulfills you and go from there. Have you tried modding any of your consoles? Then you can play any game you want on them and still use your hardware. If you can find a few things besides doom scrolling that you can do even if you're tired, that's progress. I've been playing Palworld lately when I don't have the energy for anything else.

I thought it would be cool to do that on my ps3 because I have so much unused memory. However, I’m afraid of jail breaking it and messing something up. All the videos I’ve seen seem complicated and make me feel like I have to be a computer programmer to figure out. So I’ll be okay without it hah.

I have used my ps3 controller with openemu on my laptop, so that has been helpful though.

 

[MasterEn]

Mostly sports games. Well, they are the ones I can win at at least haha. So I usually play FIFA 16 or NCAA Football 14 for the ps3.

Also recently, I’ve enjoyed playing and learning about some old nes games on the handheld I have. With those, they are great to play in short amounts of time and still are fun.

i would say that you like to play games in short bursts. sports games are perfect for that. animal crossing is also a bit similar to that. a few minutes of play and you're good to go. nes games are short and mostly hard, but can be finished if you are persistent. nothing wrong with just enjoying a short gaming session.

 

[HTBandicoot]

I think you should not care too much about achievements and trophy collections, and as you said, just play the games you find fun to play.
It's not a question of modern gaming or old gaming after all, it's just the fun that you find in it, there are a lot of fun games that get released even today, but if you play them thinking about the trophy and achievements stuff, i think you will never really enjoy them, if you find some game too hard of unfair, just don't play them, even if you bought them take it like a "i got the wrong game, i should be more carefull next time" and maybe you can always try them later on to see if the games still stress you out, or if it's become more enjoyable with time, sometimes even just the mood you are in can affect your gaming experience, so just relax, and play what you find more enjoyable, gaming is not a challenge, even if some level of challenge could be required to enjoy gaming for some, it's first and foremost a way to have fun, and having fun should ALWAYS be the reason you play a game!!
With that said, i think we can all somehow relate to that, after all there almost always are games in some game saga that are more frustrating than others, so you shouldn't trouble yourself too much about it, and just play what you feel like playing in that moment, and remember that not all games that others play are good or enjoyable, there may be lot of games that you will not like to play because they frustrates you for some reason, while there surely are others that you probably enjoy a lot more than other people, so just make your pick based on what you feel like playing to have fun in that moment!!!

Thank you for this. This is some really good advice!

 

[DunkeyKong]

I used to like challenging myself with getting most of the achievements from games that are hard af to beat

Nowadays though, I still played it for old games achievements as in retroachievements or just for the entertainment y'know…but hard games? Nah, I'll just play Kirby games or something as easy

 

[RageBurner]

Gaming is a lot like food in many respects. We have the things we prefer, and sometimes we eat based on our moods more than our own needs and wants.

You should never feel ashamed for not finishing games - it's meant to be leisure and that's all there is to it and one on should, can or will judge you for what you play and how. I have an immense backlog myself and this has never damaged my enjoyment.

 

[Cu-Neo]

Games are like trillions in quantity. You should never be ashamed of never completing some. Because it's imposible. I am a maniac of achivements but I always do the ones I know I can. That why I enjoy them. And that one thing you should do: stick to the things you like, enjoy them and never be ashamed of what you are playing at the moment because no one is going to complete all the games ever made .

 

[MistHunter]

Videogames are a lifestyle, within life itself.
don't feel guilty when you play on easy, just enjoy it.

its purpose is only one, its core:
to provide fun. nothing more, nothing less (beyond any possible use).

you choose that way and you have the control to choose what do you want.
and in the same fashion, you shape your identity through it, as you want.

thanks to the videogames, you can find your own path in life.

 

[King_Fisher]

You may be comparing yourself to try hard players that internet culture push to the forefront which tricks yourself into believing you must play as impressively as them for the activity to be worth your while. I'm sure that's more or less a common feeling as gaming turned into a competitive hobby for better or worse (regarding unnecessary toxicity)

You should remember your time with gaming is for your personal enjoyment alone. You shouldn't waste it with guilt especially when there's no one keeping count of your performance anyway.

Also a a lot of older titles whether to last longer or limitations were unreasonable in what they expected players to do with even worse penalties, even old gamers will tell you that. Have no shame in save scumming to get past those parts sooner, chances are many old gamers at the time would've loved that option.

 

[lvl]

Oh boy, until recently i could relate to that. I already owned a few old consoles and during covid i ended up gathering some more thinking it would be awesome to play master system games on a real master system, ps1 games on a real ps1, etc. I got those consoles, modded them with rgb or optical drive emulator in case of the ps1... And after all those things were done and i started trying to play the games i found myself missing the quality of life stuff we get playing on emulators, like save state, so i dont have to lose progress if i have to stop playing after 30 minutes. So those old consoles and games just sat there and i ended up feeling guilt and even pity for them (i know it sounds silly), but it made me feel kinda sad to seem them there unused...
Recently i found a nice middle ground and started to enjoy using them again. For example, its alot of fun to play Diablo 1 on the ps1, since i can save anywhere, but for example i have been playing gta 1 on a emulator, because i can use save state to keep my progress and unlock the levels. And also i dont feel the need to use them all the time, i just play what i feel like playing in the console thats "talking" to me at that moment, beeing retro console or my PS4, doesnt matter, as long as i enjoy what im playing the way im playing it, does it make sense?

 

[Darthagnon]

I reckon with professional gamers being shoved in our faces by YouTube and the ready availability of games and ROMs, we have more entertainment available to us than we know what to do with. That's what kinda burned me out with gaming. I had the most fun when I just had a PSP and low power laptop and about 10-20 games in my posession. Now I have hundreds if not thousands of ROMs, Steam/Epic/GOG games, pirate releases, etc. and a complicated job IRL, and not much motivation to play games any more. Life moves on. Before I had videogames, I read more books and played with physical toys/board games, now I find myself coming back to those.

 

[prnzo x BOOZE-o ka-BEER-o]

this hits home like crazy. I'm an older gamer who was messin with Texas Instruments (TI99-4a) n Commodore 64 in '83/'84 as the big crash happened (which somehow, I wasn't aware of until reading about it in the 90's) - I sampled Atari 2600 at a couple friends' house... had some enjoyment but the lack of depth n robotically-charming-but-still-toilet-graphx (though also no oft-ridiculous load times was a good thing) kinda left me wantin to go home n throw on a text adventure or RPG... I did hit the arcades like a madman (with a similar fervor as hittin the comic book stores - the 60's/70's comics I developed a lot of vocabulary from)

then NES came along, n since a few friends had it I decided to go with SMS. I regret a lil bit not continuing on with Commodore to its Amiga platform but the 8-bit n 16-bit console fever hit us like a tornado... always grabbed Sega stuff (havin a Sega CD was expensive but felt great to have in this otherworldy-way) first but was lucky enough to grab the Big N's consoles as well. but I grabbed a crap PC with 1200 baud modem (lol had 14.4 soon enough but... wow that thing was lethargic n already archaic). went on multi-com n other BBS' but soon got sick of ppl I couldn't relate to. when I put the Windows 3.11 sp 2 I discovered something that blew my mind - NES emulation (in DOS, courtesy Nesticle)

my reactions to 32-bit n on and the evolution of emus as it pertains to my life n the B&E that took my console collection magic away n then hard-drive crash outta nowhere - is a long n complicated story so I'll save that for another post - n get off this overlong preface n go into the topic.

fast-fwd a bit - for years I didn't have a lot of money to play with having rent, food, utilities n self-medicating party stuff (as I didn't have health-care n had/have increasingly severe disorders) draining me financially so I stuck with emulation, M.U.G.E.N. (informally learned programming in C from it), and the very few PC games I had. I would basically stick with a similar routine everyday gaming-wise when not composing/arranging music. then hit the bottle n baggies - hung with the longtime 'real' friends but got stuck with fairweather 'drug friends' more often than the semi-stable circle of true friends that I am close buddies with to this very day. got health-care, then went to rehab n started on adderall, buproprion, risperdal, klonopin (later replaced by pregabalin). I had used ritalin from age 7 until age 12 where I just didn't want it anymore (for some reason I can't quite recall clearly)

ok, sorry bout that n if you're skimreading then you should probably skip to here. I got on legal/SSI disability n luckily I was even given the backpay dating back to 2011 when I first attempted to get it n got turned down... gfs in Vegas were draining a chunk of money then I moved to Albuquerque n had a gf right away here but soon... my MS n tardive dyskinesia started discouraging the social elements n so I now had tons of free time n extra money to amass a much more robust collection of games on Steam n had a huge inventory of ROMs n ISOs. an issue started creeping in - a powerful, virtual wall of indecision. even medicated I had a problem where I would sample games n then save & quit or just quit or wutevR. as if the games were a mere novelty - bells n whistles of catchin up with the consoles I missed or indulging nostalgia firing up games from back in the day. this began to bother me n yes a growing guilt was definitely a part of this plaguing self-imposed-but-uncontrollable nightmare. it started to depress n piss me off in tandem n tried to remind myself this shit is just leisure n to chill on the autistic perfectionism. after comin back from the hospital after a dystonia episode less than a year ago - I started experiencing a seizing anxiety - partly over the under-utilization of gaming experiences n a horrible proclivity towards cold objectivity. even backing off from games to embrace my other passions (such as obv, music) wouldn't take away this everpresent pressure to play games instead of letting them 'collect dust' I suppose in a digital sense equivalent.

sorry bout the long read, but I am the eye of this weird storm even as I type this. I often invent stuff to narrow choices n have a fun goal n limit the scope of gaming choices such as 'franchise attack!' or 'game genre binge!' n even got a new spiffy set of tabletop-RPG dice to help get past indecision. no matter how much I try to remind myself that these games are meant to create or enhance a good time, n you can only do so much blah blah etc. but gaming is a passion that won't die off so easily...

...and so I'm still fighting with my own mind (over not just gaming, to be clear) n somedays everything just flows n I play stuff on PC and/or SteamDeck n have an inspired, eclectic semi-binge. these days are far more the exception than the rule, however. some days I feel like I'm headin for a nervous breakdown over this shit. close friends are having similar issues on a much smaller scale, but enough to finally understand my ridiculous-sounding dilemma. sometimes I just pace the floor hoping to go sit down n lock into something but it can be like... tryin to put 2 magnets against each other. or facing 2 mirrors against each other as a way to explain the paradoxical brain-twisting confusion...

all I can say is hang in there n fight. doctors have provided me with 3 types of painpills to deal with my body from my neck to the bottom of my spine tryin to crush itself n the involuntary movements... such as my right hand being erroneous n unresponsive or accidentally headbutting things (one time I broke the glass of a painting on the wall from it hehe)- n it's still barely enough but I am more grateful, in some ways, than ever - giving me that extra drive to tough it out. the mental fight is arguably worse though, n too opaque to find a way through half of any given week - n that's only if it's a good week. I'm always comin up with stuff to try to lead me into gaming n accomplish fun goals that can potentially fulfill on a few lvls but somedays I just have to accept an arduous, nigh-torturous lost day n keep a dwindling reservoir of hope for the next day. you win some, you lose some - as with pretty much anything. rationalization won't stop this impenetrable obstacle n I'm hyperactive n my mother told me even as a small toddler I had to be doin something stimulating all day n night or I went nuts - lost in some mental limbo. that's who I am today - an overgrown, babyfaced child who needs to be productive with things related to inner passions n artistic ambitions - or I feel lost suddenly in this almost-unbearable cosmic loneliness of fucked n broken epinephrine activity. ok gotta stop here

the moral of this ABC Afterschool Special is changing it up, gettin some fresh air, comin up with 'fun' ways to jump into games, capitalization on any feeling of serendipity, or just pure willpower/stubbornness if all else fails. sorry for the TL;DR of this post (typical Prnzo faux pas) but even if my limited advice can't help you - I want you to understand that you are far from alone in your kind of struggle. too much of anything, even shit like love - is a double-edged sword n sometimes you need to be ready to be impaled in attempts to reach even a minor reward.

 

[DunkeyKong]

this hits home like crazy. I'm an older gamer who was messin with Texas Instruments (TI99-4a) n Commodore 64 in '83/'84 as the big crash happened (which somehow, I wasn't aware of until reading about it in the 90's) - I sampled Atari 2600 at a couple friends' house... had some enjoyment but the lack of depth n robotically-charming-but-still-toilet-graphx (though also no oft-ridiculous load times was a good thing) kinda left me wantin to go home n throw on a text adventure or RPG... I did hit the arcades like a madman (with a similar fervor as hittin the comic book stores - the 60's/70's comics I developed a lot of vocabulary from)

then NES came along, n since a few friends had it I decided to go with SMS. I regret a lil bit not continuing on with Commodore to its Amiga platform but the 8-bit n 16-bit console fever hit us like a tornado... always grabbed Sega stuff (havin a Sega CD was expensive but felt great to have in this otherworldy-way) first but was lucky enough to grab the Big N's consoles as well. but I grabbed a crap PC with 1200 baud modem (lol had 14.4 soon enough but... wow that thing was lethargic n already archaic). went on multi-com n other BBS' but soon got sick of ppl I couldn't relate to. when I put the Windows 3.11 sp 2 I discovered something that blew my mind - NES emulation (in DOS, courtesy Nesticle)

my reactions to 32-bit n on and the evolution of emus as it pertains to my life n the B&E that took my console collection magic away n then hard-drive crash outta nowhere - is a long n complicated story so I'll save that for another post - n get off this overlong preface n go into the topic.

fast-fwd a bit - for years I didn't have a lot of money to play with having rent, food, utilities n self-medicating party stuff (as I didn't have health-care n had/have increasingly severe disorders) draining me financially so I stuck with emulation, M.U.G.E.N. (informally learned programming in C from it), and the very few PC games I had. I would basically stick with a similar routine everyday gaming-wise when not composing/arranging music. then hit the bottle n baggies - hung with the longtime 'real' friends but got stuck with fairweather 'drug friends' more often than the semi-stable circle of true friends that I am close buddies with to this very day. got health-care, then went to rehab n started on adderall, buproprion, risperdal, klonopin (later replaced by pregabalin). I had used ritalin from age 7 until age 12 where I just didn't want it anymore (for some reason I can't quite recall clearly)

ok, sorry bout that n if you're skimreading then you should probably skip to here. I got on legal/SSI disability n luckily I was even given the backpay dating back to 2011 when I first attempted to get it n got turned down... gfs in Vegas were draining a chunk of money then I moved to Albuquerque n had a gf right away here but soon... my MS n tardive dyskinesia started discouraging the social elements n so I now had tons of free time n extra money to amass a much more robust collection of games on Steam n had a huge inventory of ROMs n ISOs. an issue started creeping in - a powerful, virtual wall of indecision. even medicated I had a problem where I would sample games n then save & quit or just quit or wutevR. as if the games were a mere novelty - bells n whistles of catchin up with the consoles I missed or indulging nostalgia firing up games from back in the day. this began to bother me n yes a growing guilt was definitely a part of this plaguing self-imposed-but-uncontrollable nightmare. it started to depress n piss me off in tandem n tried to remind myself this shit is just leisure n to chill on the autistic perfectionism. after comin back from the hospital after a dystonia episode less than a year ago - I started experiencing a seizing anxiety - partly over the under-utilization of gaming experiences n a horrible proclivity towards cold objectivity. even backing off from games to embrace my other passions (such as obv, music) wouldn't take away this everpresent pressure to play games instead of letting them 'collect dust' I suppose in a digital sense equivalent.

sorry bout the long read, but I am the eye of this weird storm even as I type this. I often invent stuff to narrow choices n have a fun goal n limit the scope of gaming choices such as 'franchise attack!' or 'game genre binge!' n even got a new spiffy set of tabletop-RPG dice to help get past indecision. no matter how much I try to remind myself that these games are meant to create or enhance a good time, n you can only do so much blah blah etc. but gaming is a passion that won't die off so easily...

...and so I'm still fighting with my own mind (over not just gaming, to be clear) n somedays everything just flows n I play stuff on PC and/or SteamDeck n have an inspired, eclectic semi-binge. these days are far more the exception than the rule, however. some days I feel like I'm headin for a nervous breakdown over this shit. close friends are having similar issues on a much smaller scale, but enough to finally understand my ridiculous-sounding dilemma. sometimes I just pace the floor hoping to go sit down n lock into something but it can be like... tryin to put 2 magnets against each other. or facing 2 mirrors against each other as a way to explain the paradoxical brain-twisting confusion...

all I can say is hang in there n fight. doctors have provided me with 3 types of painpills to deal with my body from my neck to the bottom of my spine tryin to crush itself n the involuntary movements... such as my right hand being erroneous n unresponsive or accidentally headbutting things (one time I broke the glass of a painting on the wall from it hehe)- n it's still barely enough but I am more grateful, in some ways, than ever - giving me that extra drive to tough it out. the mental fight is arguably worse though, n too opaque to find a way through half of any given week - n that's only if it's a good week. I'm always comin up with stuff to try to lead me into gaming n accomplish fun goals that can potentially fulfill on a few lvls but somedays I just have to accept an arduous, nigh-torturous lost day n keep a dwindling reservoir of hope for the next day. you win some, you lose some - as with pretty much anything. rationalization won't stop this impenetrable obstacle n I'm hyperactive n my mother told me even as a small toddler I had to be doin something stimulating all day n night or I went nuts - lost in some mental limbo. that's who I am today - an overgrown, babyfaced child who needs to be productive with things related to inner passions n artistic ambitions - or I feel lost suddenly in this almost-unbearable cosmic loneliness of fucked n broken epinephrine activity. ok gotta stop here

the moral of this ABC Afterschool Special is changing it up, gettin some fresh air, comin up with 'fun' ways to jump into games, capitalization on any feeling of serendipity, or just pure willpower/stubbornness if all else fails. sorry for the TL;DR of this post (typical Prnzo faux pas) but even if my limited advice can't help you - I want you to understand that you are far from alone in your kind of struggle. too much of anything, even shit like love - is a double-edged sword n sometimes you need to be ready to be impaled in attempts to reach even a minor reward.

My god…I'm speechless
That was a rollercoaster of a note, I kinda feel bad for you man

What I could do is hoping that you're doing better than before, stay strong and stay safe

 

[Yousef]

For games I don’t relate because imo you should only play a game if it’s resonating with you. If not, it’s ok to not play it and you’re better off not forcing yourself.

For consoles, yes I absolutely agree. I try to take out my consoles as much as humanly possible. I got around ten systems lying around and it’s absolutely tricky to balance out playing all of them! Even though I really want to!

 

[BunnyLain]

Very relatable post! I struggle with playing games a lot not days while having an adult life! The reaction speeds I once had gone and the drive I had to jump into a game and play it at odds with everything else going on. I'd love to play more games to completion but I know a lot of games now days don't even bother creating a game with a satisfying ending to even talk about.

Really having a library of so much at my hands at all times takes the fun out of games and knowing everything about them before I've even played them due to how derivative games makes games, not so fun to even pick up or engage with. I feel its just the fact that I'm getting old, but I have to many complaints with games as an art form in the modern day.

So yea I have some guilt over not enjoying games and not playing them, but that's life! You can't do it all and sometimes you just need to limit yourself and set a goal, or find a group you can enjoy things with others!