I think that difficulty is always going to be contentious for this reason.
Difficulty options should always be a feature. If Nioh had an easy mode, I'd probably play it again.
Perception of joy from difficulty varies.
Video Games did get way more popular during the ps2 era, and with that difficulty actually decreased in most games across the board, so much so a hard game would bomb in sales, this is the reason why Sony declined to distribute Demons souls in the west, as historically hard games typically bombed in sales from the SNES/Genesis era onwards. There's always exceptions but this was generally true.
Dark souls changed all that
I platinumed Nioh and finished all the souls games bar dark souls 3, bloodborne and it's dlc, played the ps1 release of Mega man x3 when it released(Very, very cheap difficulty compared to all but mega man X6 and that only has crap level design causing it to feel cheap)
That all said, growing up with extreme difficultly being the norm for most games till the PS2 era, I always chose easy and I still do as I can play through, experience and finish games faster than struggling for days against a boss
The most disappointing example of overdoing it with difficulty was getting megaman zero as a christmas gift when I was 12 and experiencing very little of the game, and those are hands down still the hardest games I ever played, zero one and two, pretty sure I have Stockholm syndrome for those games