Favorite mistranslations?

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This is a common occurance in classic text-heavy games -- so mainly JRPGs -- but I feel this bears the question. What kinds of mistranslated text, weird interpretations of the original Japanese, and other similar stuff appeals to you in gaming?

Here's my answer: the Edincoat in Final Fantasy 7. When I first played this dieselpunk adventure, I assumed that this "Eden coat" mid-game armor was some kind of protective trench coat or a nice jacket. Y'know, something out of The Matrix or something. After all, the dopey fat ass Palmer* dropped it, so I assumed this was his fancy beige suit. It also helps that in Final Fantasy Tactics there were purses as a female-only joke weapon type, and FFT Advance also included some robes and dresses as designer wear armor.

But no actually, this was a mistranslation of Agincourt, something I'd only find out a decade later due to the Final Fantasy wiki. Interestingly for FFT, Agincourt was a famous battle site that turned the tide in the Hundred Years' War, which FFT used in its backstory to lead into its retelling of the War of the Roses. Albeit, only 50 years in FFT... easy for me to misremember which was real and which was the fantasy version. >_>

And fitting enough, the Protect Vest accessory in FF7 and its remake are bullet vests! Perhaps that's where I got the idea that this bracelet was outerwear?

A former friend of mine once felt the same way, and pointed it out as such, about the weird limitations to in-battle text in Breath of Fire 2. Let alone the infamous Ted Woolsey translations. Such strange translations cause you to use your imagination, just like the item names without imagery in your inventory.

Speaking of Woolsey. Given the orbs of white light for Holy in FF6's SNES version, I accept his forced censoring by Nintendo of America into "Pearl". This is my runner-up favorite mistranslation.

Your turn, folks. ;3

(*I also love that Palmer was a nepo baby manchild in FF7 Machinabridged. He's such a goober in the original too though, and I adore this idiot perhaps more than I should. :p)
 
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The dog in Crusader of Centy that goes, "Bow wow wow yippee yo yippee yay!"

It was so out of nowhere, I definitely wasn't expecting that.
 
This from Samurai Shodown IV, became an inside joke in my FGC circle.
Victoly.png
 
Also from FF VII, the mech boss "Proud Clod" was meant to be "Proud Clad". Clod means someone who's an idiot or a fool, so when I was younger I took it to mean that Scarlet and Heidegger has foolishly misplaced their confidence and pride in their super weapon.
 
Is always funny for me to make fun of Spanish translations (Sorry Spain Bros)
Pokemon is one of the notorious ones, because here on Latam there were sellers for the GBA and DS Spanish Pokemon games as those consoles were Region Free.
The moves were the ones i remember the most.

Slam -> Portazo (Like Slamming a door)
Return -> Retroceso (Technically correct but not in the context of the move)
Water Pledge -> Voto Agua (too literal)
Frost Breath -> Vaho Hielo (dfuk why this really old world that is more like "vapor" instead of "Aliento")
String Shot -> Disparo demora (this one just makes nor gramatical nor semantical sense but at least it kinda right in terms of what it does?)

They vary between "too literal", "just Google Translate" and idk "name it something funny"

Is hilarious i could give a lot of more examples but i could be here all day, at least they fixed a lot of them when the 6th gen came because Spanish was also officially introduced in Latam.
 
city snek.png


The Midgar Zolom is a mistranslation of Midgardsormr, which is a serpent in Norse mythology.
However, I think Midgar Zolom is way cooler because it makes it sound like its own kind of creature, rather than just another borrowed mythological term that FF loves doing.
 

In Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater, they greatly messed up translating what the title means. Metal Gear is the bipedal tank, but it also refers to a gear as in a cog in a machine. Aleksandr Leonovitch Granin is refering to the Metal Gear as a link between infantry and tanks. However, this connection does not bind like a chain or rope, it causes movement, like a cog or gear. The Metal Gear is the future of technology, it is movement forward.

The english translation bungled the reference so badly that it seems like Granin is speaking nonsense. I always find it funny because this is supposed to be a big revelation for the series and instead it is just confusing.
 
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Tactics has some good ones.


The whole intro is filled with unnatural sounding English topped by the "little money" phrase. Little money is not exactly the most eloquent way to communicate the idea of the lack of income of the soldiers returning from the Lion War.

Another one is the "Wiznaibus" ability for the Dancer class. https://finalfantasy.fandom.com/wiki/Mincing_Minuet

Wiznaibus was a total fuckup by the localization team. The Japanese name Uizu Naibusu was supposed to be a phonetical pronounciation of the English phrase "With Knives". Apparently the localization team didn't know that and translated it to gibberish.
 
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The first one that comes to mind is from Grandia 2's German translation, where they translated "miss" as "Fräulein", which is a fairly aged term you'd use when addressing an unmarried woman.

https://images.cgames.de/images/gsgp/290/grandia-fr%C3%A4ulein_6075827.jpg

I get how they ended up with that, but man that's a baffling lack of quality control.
 
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FFVII is also filled with errors. The PS1 Squaresoft era can be mined for awkward translations between FF7, Tactics and Xenogears. They got their translations in a better shape after those 3 games, but it was rough. I think Ted Woosley had quit Squaresoft and they were winging it with an in-house localization team.

ff7 mistranslation.jpg


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There's also just about every game Claude M. Moyse translated into German back in the day.

That man was kind of Germany's Ted Woolsey in a way - very distinctive translations that more often than not tended to... veer a bit farther off-script than strictly necessary, let's say - lots of double entendres ("Gib mir deinen Saft, ich geb dir meinen…"), some anti-war slogans, a quick reminder to use condoms here and there.

His work is actually remembered fairly fondly, in spite of all the jank! Secret of Mana, Terranigma and Link's Awakening being the standouts.
 
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