Bonding through gaming

[Waffles's iconWaffles]

My dad and I weren't very close at all.

Part of it was a personality clash... he was a tough, no-nonsense military dude whilst I was the wildest of things. And while I'm not going to apologize for being six, I understand how my unrepentant attitude could have widen the gap that already existed between us.

The other problem was that the guy's job was so demanding that I barely got to see him. He'd leave the house before dawn and not return home til dinner time, usually arriving to a myriad of complains about me from the school, the babysitter and my own family. At some point we both seemed to decide that it was far easier to not engage outside of some pleasantries.

But then there were moments where to unsurmountable gap seemed conquerable, and those usually involved gaming.

Unprompted, he'd sit beside me on the living room and grab the second Genesis controller just to challenge me to a race on Road Rash 3. Or he would come home with a CD case on hand and show me the latest PC game he had gotten on the way home. At one point we were out at night, doing some late grocery shopping when we came across a newstand carrying all three Alone In The Dark games. Dad bought the first one and we took it home, playing it on a sort of "co-op" mode for weeks. I SO looked forward to those playing sessions.

Unsurprisingly, Alone In The Dark 1 was the first game I ever beat.

On what remains one of my happiest earliest memories, one day I woke up to something really strange pressing against my hands and I found myself holding a still-unopened copy of Alone In The Dark 2. He was grinning like I had never seen him before.

These happy times wouldn't last, but I treasure those moments of unspoken understanding that were made possible by staring at a bunch of pixels or some barely human-looking polygons on a wooden screen.

What about you? Has gaming help you bond with someone like that?

 

[Cu-Neo]

I bonded a lot with my big brother thanks to gaming I remember when we played a lot of smash 4 on the Wii U and when Ultimate came out. I went to my home after a long day of school and we played smash all night. Also gaming introduced me to this place. So yeah gaming helps a lot to connect with people ?

 

[ObscureJigglypuff]

Nope.
I don't share my experiences with anybody., i love lonely tasks.

Playing is a private matter to me, but i'am happy for your situation.

 

[Chezlyn]

Nah. First thing I ever played was Tennis on NES, which was my sister's. Never bonded over video games but we're cool otherwise. My parents are just old fashioned. The few friends I had also weren't keen on video games. Years later, I can't stand multiplayer games be it party games or team-based online. Heck, I can't even tolerate video games with AI controlled teammates. Given that video games are looked down upon where I'm from, I don't bother seeking like-minded peers and is also my reason for not including a Location in my profile.

 

[Waffles's iconWaffles]

Given that video games are looked down upon where I'm from, I don't bother seeking like-minded peers and is also my reason for not including a Location in my profile.

That's VERY surprising, but thank you for being a part of our community, then.

 

[Orpheous]

Oh, "bonding with our dads through gaming" club is open I see! I played everything with my dad when I was little, gotten my first console when I was 2, sega megadrive lol, then we switched to PS1 few years later, and for the longest time I was scared to actually hold a controller, didnt want to kill a little dude and have that shit on my conscience, so Id just make my dad play everything. Nowdays, our thing is to play horror games together, just finished SH2 remake, that was a blast. Hes a very liberal hippie dude, chillest guy ever, let me watch horror movies and games when I was like, 5, taught me about lesbians through Fear Effect 2 lol. (Speaking of lesbians though, I have to say that some of the most awkward experiences of my life involved playing Last of Us 2 with him and sitting through like, 11 lesbian make out sessions, I liked the game a lot, though they did it tastefully, but watching that shit in complete silence with your genX dad changes you as a person.) He really likes RE4, the remake, and Tormented Souls, our household is hyped for the sequel.

I also play lenghty JRPGs with my best friend, thats our main bonding activity, she ll come over once or twice a week and we play shit for about 5 hours. Just finished Final Fantasy XII, she usually plays these games for the first time so I like experiencing them through her, makes the experience fresh! We also fight constantly about character builds and classes, its part of the process!

 

[Yousef]

I really missed out on the whole gaming with dad thing. My dad is actually quite old, and I mean that in a comparative sense because when the Atari came out, he was already in his 20s and going through college. So I believe the entire concept of gaming as a whole always sounded like a fad to him and even by the time he realized it wasn’t and accepted it as is, gaming as already grown into an enthusiast hobby that you were likely only into if you played as a kid.

 

[freakinrad]

Man, I'm glad you have those memories despite whatever other stuff went on.

My dad was similar - not military disciplined or anything like that, just very much a no-nonsense type of guy who worked, came home and either frowned at everyone or spent his time in the garage.

We never really bonded quite like what you described, but some of my fondest memories are of the few times that he relented to spend some time with my brother and I playing some Genesis. It didn't happen too much, but we did get in some time playing TMNT: The Hyperstone Heist and Sonic 2 and 3. One of the few times I remember receiving a compliment from him was when I beat Sonic 3 the second day we had it (not a huge triumph, but a decent accomplishment for 6-year old).

While I wish I had more memories of this sort (because gaming was such a huge part of my childhood) it has at the very least reinforced the need to try to gain and maintain an interest in my own kids' hobbies. It may not seem "important" but when you're that age, it means the world.

 

[Waffles's iconWaffles]

it has at the very least reinforced the need to try to gain and maintain an interest in my own kids' hobbies. It may not seem "important" but when you're that age, it means the world.

YES! A million times yes!

Man, I'm so glad I decided to make this thread... reading input like yours was nothing short of amazing, and I thank you for sharing your own experience.

 

[RageBurner]

My father is very much a non gaming person. He loves soccer (and was a great player in his youth) so in retrospect, soccer video games would be the only venue for us to bond this way... but I hate the sport (because it's absolutely hyper saturated here).

I'm a baseball person despite it having no professional league here, so my father and I couldn't possibly be more different in this regard.

 

[Waffles's iconWaffles]

I'm a baseball person despite it having no professional league here,

Aye. Me too. I used to be a HUGE Montreal Expos fan. Now I divide my fandom between the Red Sox and the Blue Jays.

 

[RageBurner]

Aye. Me too. I used to be a HUGE Montreal Expos fan. Now I divide my fandom between the Red Sox and the Blue Jays.

I'm a Cubs person, or should I say, sufferer.

 

[goznog]

my mum really liked the classic resident evil games when they were coming out, so often I'll bring over whatever console when visiting her and she'll watch me speed through one of them. she's impressed every time lol
not long ago i played through like nearly every ganbare goemon game in coop with my dad, highly recommended. he's a big fan of goemon impact

 

[RageBurner]

my mum really liked the classic resident evil games when they were coming out, so often I'll bring over whatever console when visiting her and she'll watch me speed through one of them. she's impressed every time lol
not long ago i played through like nearly every ganbare goemon game in coop with my dad, highly recommended. he's a big fan of goemon impact

That's incredibly wholesome, thanks for sharing.

 

[ATenderLad]

Definitely the case with friends, came a point I was concerned video games were too much a requirement of mine, I needed to branch out.

Nope.
I don't share my experiences with anybody., i love lonely tasks.

Playing is a private matter to me, but i'am happy for your situation.

Off-topic, but I've enjoyed all of these posts, the commitment!

 

[Dyne]

This is the most wholesome thread
I really cherish my memories of playing with my dad. I think the first time we ever played co-op was Jackal on the NES. It was probably just a Tuesday for him but for me it meant so much. My little brother also plays a lot of video games, although our tastes vary a bit. Its always a fun time when I can rope him into some co-op though.