Whatever the game defaults to, then try a higher one on the second playthrough. It's usually the most polished out of all of them so you'll often get a better experience.
Also, games that default to easy are usually not easy, it's just that the higher ones are even more messed up.
I want to play a games the way the developer intended, so unless the game specifically states:
"Hard mode is the intended experience" (Which I do appreciate) I just stick with Normal.
If it's from a franchise I'm already accustomed too, maybe hard.
Play a few (but most of the time, just one) stage(s) to work out how the game plays (configuration, mechanics, etc.) then reset and start over in hard difficulty
Depends on the game. With genres I'm a bit used to, I'd go for higher difficulties. In game where I'm new to or not good at I'd go lower. Plus my skills and reflexes aren't that good.
I always try normal the first playthrough, but after that i always try the hell mode, and yes i said try because sometimes (or should i say most of the time) i drop the game on that dificulty
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