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You know what I mean.
...No? Dammit. Here's your precious *context.*
(Arguably, his movies and others like New Jack City (1991) illustrate that wealth, no matter how it's attained, is the equivalent of success in America, and a crime lord and a CEO enjoy the American Dream equally as long as they don't get busted. Thaaaaat's a whole other topic though.)
Those are awfully grim examples, but you can see how an *observably good time* translates to "Infectious Excitement!" on the pull quotes of a half-busted cardboard standee in a theater hallway. James Bond, for instance, enjoys exotic vacations on the governments dime, and can barely walk without tripping into gorgeous women, crotch-first. If he gets into a cool gunfight or car chase that ends in the grisly death of some idiots, he has a card in his wallet that says "To Whom it may Concern: I do what I want, take it up with the Queen."
Whereas, any time you see a (unique) video game in a movie, you’re being *told* it’s a fun time. Free Guy (2021) is a recent example, the most popular game in the world is a visually boring Grand Theft Auto Online rip-off? It looks like something I’ll watch my nephew play for five minutes before I throw him outside on principle. The Last Starfighter (1984) is a favorite, where a kid playing a Star Wars: The Arcade Game knockoff is the hottest thing his community has *ever* seen. They come running like he’s pulling the Sword from the fuckin' Stone, ‘ere Britannia’s King be Crowned.
The worst offender though? Virtual Reality. Years of clunky headsets keep illustrating that controlling a VR game is never more effective than the controllers and touchscreens that have been refined for decades. (It’s also part of why all the Web3.0 stuff failed, by trying to replace pressing one button on our phone with wearing an apparatus and slowly navigating a fake storefront.) In movies though, VR gets to be hyper-mature technology, and can be used to navigate the Warner Bros. Gen X Internet in Ready Player One (2018), or boring FPS clones in Gamer (2009).
On the other hand, I’ve watched so many movies that make me think “I’d love to play this game”. Tremors (1990), Police Story (1985), or that 2001 Musketeer picture with the wild ass sword fights. Films that revolve around actual games though? Forget it, it’s like how Smokey and the Bandit (1977) makes me want a racer where I can jump bridges, but Need for Speed (2014) just makes me want to jump off a bridge for real.
As always, there’s exceptions. The end of Doom (2005) is just a cool live-action FPS sequence, a short apology for the movie you just watched. The original Mortal Kombat (1995) had the good sense to just be about a tournament, instead of the 2021 movie trying to re-invent the wheel and coming up with a macaroni picture of a rectangle to put on the fridge. Some kids definitely saw the '95 film and ran to the arcades, and maybe half of them stuck around after they found out the cabinet *doesn’t* play the same theme song.
A few years back, I got suckered into renting Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City (2021) by a few people claiming it was “the first good one.” Bastards. A couple hours later, and I’m composing bitter messages on my phone. “No Molly, I actually *can't* feed your cats this weekend, I spent my gas money on this movie you told me to watch, so now Tommy Lee Jones the Cat can fucking starve.” Raccoon City was slavishly devoted to the games, and was as fun as getting served court summons at a funeral. Matter of fact, Monster Hunter (2020), Mortal Kombat, and Raccoon City were all released within a year of each other, good god.
Lately though, there’s some real turnaround. Animated series have always been better at game adaptations, and the recent Arcane is a new high watermark, but live-action Fallout was a shockingly good time. The multiple characters each feel like separate characters to role play in the games, with protagonist Lucy having a journey not too far off from, say, Fallout 3. She explores, salvages, accepts bizarre quests, learns horrific shit in vaults, and chases after her beloved actor father. (I’ll concede that The Ghoul is basically endgame, and wrapped up in all the lore of the setting unlike a player character, but at the risk of rambling? He’s the closest Fallout has to an Elminster now, a mentor figure of sorts who’s seen it all and done it all, but won’t rob the PC’s of an adventure for themselves. I’m not a big D&D head, so I hope you dorks can tell me if I used that right.)
Better yet, movies made by people who grew up playing games are starting to incorporate some of those elements into *cinema*. Hardcore Henry (2015) was an absolutely insane FPS shooter masquerading as a movie, although it gave me one of the worst headaches of my life in theaters so maybe I won’t talk about that one. Watch five minutes, see if you don’t feel nauseous, fingers crossed. The Princess (2022) and other action movies like the latest John Wick have set-pieces and narratives that feel increasingly like gameplay. Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (2023) is maybe out of bounds since it’s more of a tabletop experience, but everyone I know who enjoys that says it captures the feel like nothing else. ( Why aren’t there thirty sequels lined up already, where’s my D&DCU at?)
2024, however, saw the release of the greatest video game movie to date.
You're goddamn right it was!
It’s made on the cheap, black and white, and damn near a silent film, and Hundreds of Beavers (2024) is my favorite movie of 2024 by a hot country mile. After the intro cinematic, our protagonist, Jean Kayak, wakes up in the frigid wilderness with nothing but pajamas. Like any survival game in the vein of Minecraft or Rust, Kayak has to learn how to get by with his bare hands, crafting crude traps out of sticks and snow to catch food. He trips down rabbit holes and reappears miles away, essentially shortcuts between areas. Eventually, he catches a raccoon to take to the local trading post, where he can exchange skins for tools that let him progress further. All of the items he purchases are accompanied by video game sound effects, of course.
As Kayak gets more savvy, he starts to record his progress on bark using...don’t worry about it. Anyways he steadily maps out key points in the area, and as Kayak starts to plot a route to take, hitting his trapping spots and collecting loot, the movie speeds things up by referring to the map. He’s unlocked the fast travel system! This all leads up to a boss level platforming challenge that I won't spoil, but feel okay saying it ends with a smooch from the “princess”.The structure of a video game is present throughout the entire movie, communicated non-verbally and without any existing iconography.
It’s also so absurdly funny. The first half-hour is nonstop gags by lead actor, Ryland Brickson Cole Tews, with an amazing knack for physical comedy. Most people get hit in the face or burned by a pan, we feel concern. Some beautiful souls, though, we can’t help laughing at their pain. It’s a wondrous gift.
I look to 2025 with hope, that more movies like Hundreds of Beavers descend on theaters like ravenous packs of joyous wolves. It’s inevitable that we get more movies based on video games, here’s hoping more of them actually understand what makes a game worth playing.
...No? Dammit. Here's your precious *context.*
Okay, Talk About It
There's a quality to a lot of Martin Scorsese movies that makes them challenging, at least to general audiences. When he shows crooks and hoodlums in classics like Goodfellas (1990), Casino (1995), or The Wolf of Wall Street (2013), he doesn't shy away from them having *fun*. They pal around, they get rich, these assholes enjoy their lives. They all have inevitable downturns as the criminal element catches up with them, sure, but Scorsese shows you *why* his protagonists choose this life. To audiences, I think, that makes the characters and their decisions more "real", or at least more relatable.(Arguably, his movies and others like New Jack City (1991) illustrate that wealth, no matter how it's attained, is the equivalent of success in America, and a crime lord and a CEO enjoy the American Dream equally as long as they don't get busted. Thaaaaat's a whole other topic though.)
Those are awfully grim examples, but you can see how an *observably good time* translates to "Infectious Excitement!" on the pull quotes of a half-busted cardboard standee in a theater hallway. James Bond, for instance, enjoys exotic vacations on the governments dime, and can barely walk without tripping into gorgeous women, crotch-first. If he gets into a cool gunfight or car chase that ends in the grisly death of some idiots, he has a card in his wallet that says "To Whom it may Concern: I do what I want, take it up with the Queen."
Whereas, any time you see a (unique) video game in a movie, you’re being *told* it’s a fun time. Free Guy (2021) is a recent example, the most popular game in the world is a visually boring Grand Theft Auto Online rip-off? It looks like something I’ll watch my nephew play for five minutes before I throw him outside on principle. The Last Starfighter (1984) is a favorite, where a kid playing a Star Wars: The Arcade Game knockoff is the hottest thing his community has *ever* seen. They come running like he’s pulling the Sword from the fuckin' Stone, ‘ere Britannia’s King be Crowned.
The worst offender though? Virtual Reality. Years of clunky headsets keep illustrating that controlling a VR game is never more effective than the controllers and touchscreens that have been refined for decades. (It’s also part of why all the Web3.0 stuff failed, by trying to replace pressing one button on our phone with wearing an apparatus and slowly navigating a fake storefront.) In movies though, VR gets to be hyper-mature technology, and can be used to navigate the Warner Bros. Gen X Internet in Ready Player One (2018), or boring FPS clones in Gamer (2009).
The Running Man (1987) walked so Gamer could waddle like it shit its pants
Remember Gamer? Gerry Butz and other felons are controlled by Twitch streamers to play a first person shooter? The big twist was Butler convincing his “pilot” to just let him move normally, like a version of Real Steel (2011) where it turns out the stupid human was just weighing down the robot the whole time. The problem though is the fictional games in these movies are a huge step down from the creativity games can already provide. I wouldn’t play...whatever the shooter in Gamer is called over Titanfall 2! Where’s my wall-running, grappling hooks, and giant mecha?What About Adaptations?
Speaking of creativity, (none of which was harmed in this text, I *promise*) straightforward adaptations don’t exactly portray the games their based on. Imagine a young face, heartbroken, when you tell them there’s no button to throw a bucket of water at Sub-Zero, the moisture freezing into ninja-slaying projectiles. That you don’t play a superhuman witch with techno-magic in Resident Evil. Or the relief when you say Double Dragon is nothing like the movie and you’ll never let it hurt them. All of the creative solutions and set-pieces tend to revolve around things you can’t do in playing the games themselves. Flicks like Borderlands (2024), and Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Li (2009) aren't just terrible, terrible films, they don't incorporate any of the structure of the games they came from, nor hint at what makes those fun.On the other hand, I’ve watched so many movies that make me think “I’d love to play this game”. Tremors (1990), Police Story (1985), or that 2001 Musketeer picture with the wild ass sword fights. Films that revolve around actual games though? Forget it, it’s like how Smokey and the Bandit (1977) makes me want a racer where I can jump bridges, but Need for Speed (2014) just makes me want to jump off a bridge for real.
As always, there’s exceptions. The end of Doom (2005) is just a cool live-action FPS sequence, a short apology for the movie you just watched. The original Mortal Kombat (1995) had the good sense to just be about a tournament, instead of the 2021 movie trying to re-invent the wheel and coming up with a macaroni picture of a rectangle to put on the fridge. Some kids definitely saw the '95 film and ran to the arcades, and maybe half of them stuck around after they found out the cabinet *doesn’t* play the same theme song.
I'm Getting Nervous, What's The Point
A few years back, I got suckered into renting Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City (2021) by a few people claiming it was “the first good one.” Bastards. A couple hours later, and I’m composing bitter messages on my phone. “No Molly, I actually *can't* feed your cats this weekend, I spent my gas money on this movie you told me to watch, so now Tommy Lee Jones the Cat can fucking starve.” Raccoon City was slavishly devoted to the games, and was as fun as getting served court summons at a funeral. Matter of fact, Monster Hunter (2020), Mortal Kombat, and Raccoon City were all released within a year of each other, good god.
Lately though, there’s some real turnaround. Animated series have always been better at game adaptations, and the recent Arcane is a new high watermark, but live-action Fallout was a shockingly good time. The multiple characters each feel like separate characters to role play in the games, with protagonist Lucy having a journey not too far off from, say, Fallout 3. She explores, salvages, accepts bizarre quests, learns horrific shit in vaults, and chases after her beloved actor father. (I’ll concede that The Ghoul is basically endgame, and wrapped up in all the lore of the setting unlike a player character, but at the risk of rambling? He’s the closest Fallout has to an Elminster now, a mentor figure of sorts who’s seen it all and done it all, but won’t rob the PC’s of an adventure for themselves. I’m not a big D&D head, so I hope you dorks can tell me if I used that right.)
Better yet, movies made by people who grew up playing games are starting to incorporate some of those elements into *cinema*. Hardcore Henry (2015) was an absolutely insane FPS shooter masquerading as a movie, although it gave me one of the worst headaches of my life in theaters so maybe I won’t talk about that one. Watch five minutes, see if you don’t feel nauseous, fingers crossed. The Princess (2022) and other action movies like the latest John Wick have set-pieces and narratives that feel increasingly like gameplay. Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves (2023) is maybe out of bounds since it’s more of a tabletop experience, but everyone I know who enjoys that says it captures the feel like nothing else. ( Why aren’t there thirty sequels lined up already, where’s my D&DCU at?)
2024, however, saw the release of the greatest video game movie to date.
Was this *all* an excuse to talk about Hundreds of Beavers?
You're goddamn right it was!
It’s made on the cheap, black and white, and damn near a silent film, and Hundreds of Beavers (2024) is my favorite movie of 2024 by a hot country mile. After the intro cinematic, our protagonist, Jean Kayak, wakes up in the frigid wilderness with nothing but pajamas. Like any survival game in the vein of Minecraft or Rust, Kayak has to learn how to get by with his bare hands, crafting crude traps out of sticks and snow to catch food. He trips down rabbit holes and reappears miles away, essentially shortcuts between areas. Eventually, he catches a raccoon to take to the local trading post, where he can exchange skins for tools that let him progress further. All of the items he purchases are accompanied by video game sound effects, of course.
As Kayak gets more savvy, he starts to record his progress on bark using...don’t worry about it. Anyways he steadily maps out key points in the area, and as Kayak starts to plot a route to take, hitting his trapping spots and collecting loot, the movie speeds things up by referring to the map. He’s unlocked the fast travel system! This all leads up to a boss level platforming challenge that I won't spoil, but feel okay saying it ends with a smooch from the “princess”.The structure of a video game is present throughout the entire movie, communicated non-verbally and without any existing iconography.
It’s also so absurdly funny. The first half-hour is nonstop gags by lead actor, Ryland Brickson Cole Tews, with an amazing knack for physical comedy. Most people get hit in the face or burned by a pan, we feel concern. Some beautiful souls, though, we can’t help laughing at their pain. It’s a wondrous gift.
I look to 2025 with hope, that more movies like Hundreds of Beavers descend on theaters like ravenous packs of joyous wolves. It’s inevitable that we get more movies based on video games, here’s hoping more of them actually understand what makes a game worth playing.
