The Nintendo 64 & Me: A Tale Of Unrequited Love

518166700.jpg


The Nintendo 64 was the eternal white whale of my childhood.

Not only was it by far the most hyped up console that I have ever seen, but it was also so incredibly expensive that only a few selected stores carried it. That meant that not only was I hearing endlessly about it, but also that I could never see (let alone touch) one. That put me in a very interesting position, and I ended up dubbing the system as "the coolest thing I never saw".

Now, I did eventually come across a few during my family's trips to the mall, as the console was the centerpiece exhibit on places like El Mundo Del Juguete (a huge toy store not unlike Toys R Us) and Blockbuster (the only retailer I knew to carry its games, and the site of a massive gold rush once the stores were being liquidated and the former patrons went to get heavily-discounted N64 cartridges), but that still didn't mean that I got to play it. They wouldn't even let us touch it, which was really annoying... as even the much more popular PlayStation 1 would have open displays where you could play Gran Turismo or something.

But Nintendo's marketing campaign was so relentless that I would often dream about playing all those awesome games that they'd run constant advertisements for. I knew games like Pilotwings 64 and Banjo-Tooie/Kazooie by heart through the endless repetition of their genius ads. It was almost unfair how invested I was on those graphics that made everything I was playing at the time feel like a complete joke.


It's amazing to me how I can still remember this ad perfectly, even after all these years.

Unlike all the other consoles I had goshed over during my childhood, however, I could never own a Nintendo 64. Why? Because the price never dropped. I even asked for one three Christmases in a row, to no avail... it was that prohibitive for a middle-class family that was nonetheless doing very well.

Once the console had "stepped aside" and made way for the GameCube, so very few units had been sold in my neck of the woods that their owners just held on to them like crazy, making any that did pop up command an outrageous price. And once the "retro wave" hit? The only --sane-- option was to forget about it.

What's hilarious to me (at least looking back) is that not even the age of the internet could really put this thing to rest, as the ROMs (few as they were) were so huge that I couldn't download them with my 56k modem, nor could I play any of the ones I braved holding the phone hostage for due to the rough state of emulation at the time and the incredible strain those early programs would put on my aging system.

Screenshot_20241207-113930.png

Actual screenshot of Mario Tennis. It's amusing to me how much of a wild card N64 emulation still is. You either get a perfectly smooth experience or you get to stare into the void, no in-betweens allowed.

A few years later, a foreign exchange student from Italy came to my school and casually told me that not only did he have an N64, but also that he had brought it along with him. He even invited me over to play it... but guess what? The *** controllers were broken! He had absolutely no clue how that had happened and I honestly didn't care anymore. After all those years, I finally had a Nintendo 64 I could play and the thing just refused to. If previous experiences had broken my heart, this one was wearing it like a festive hat.

Meanwhile, TV shows like Nivel X kept covering the system due to popular demand (they normally stopped all coverage of a console as soon as a new one had replaced it) and teasing me with all those cool games I could never play. It was maddening.

But fast forward a couple of decades, put me in a position where technology has advanced to the point where I can actually emulate the entire thing on my phone, and... it was absolutely bittersweet.

Emulation never tells the whole story, and I feel that that's particularly true when it comes to the N64.

Because so much time has passed, I have completely lost my point of reference and I don't get to be impressed (or underwhelmed) by the console on a technical level. I also don't get to put on my rose-tinted glasses and overlook the many flaws that are now painfully obvious to me, because I'm judging something made decades ago from a place of future privilege and without being able to recall my first impressions of it. I don't even really get to complain about the system's bizarre control scheme because I haven't tried the original, so OF COURSE spreading all those buttons over a touchscreen (or keyboard) feels like torture to me... they were never meant to be used that way. I can complain, but it'd be a pretty low-hanging fruit and it would accomplish nothing. Besides, I don't want this to be an angry retrospective.

sddefault.jpg

I still remember the day that this episode aired. The guy showing off the newest Pokemon game was stuttering all over the place because of his sheer excitement. It was oddly charming (and relatable!).

And I have actually found plenty of stuff to love about the N64.

I not only got to try the aforementioned Banjo-Kazooie, but I also beat it several times (which is something only a few other games have managed to make me do). I also found a really impressive assortment of multiplayer games that the kids and I love to play, particularly Super Smash Bros and 007 Goldeneye. This was kinda offset by the fact that most of the games I tried proved to be impossible to run due to a myriad of errors caused by the different emulators, but that wasn't the console's fault. Nor was it its fault that so many of them seemed to be allergic to the Z-Trigger, resulting on a couple of games being rendered completely unplayable due to that... but at this point I'm just willing to chalk it up to the N64's overall weirdness and leave it at that, because I had never encountered another system where half the emulators I tried refused to acknowledge the existence of an entire button for no discernible reason.

32636_66f1466bb26f0b47fc9f253a636f16913d4b2209.png

It's funny to me how some of my favorite games on a console that had so throughly impressed me with its graphics capabilities were among the simpler ones on that department. Mischief Makers has become my go-to N64 game whenever I feel like playing. It's oddly fitting.

However... when a game it's on, it's ON. And on those rare moments of responsive controls and smooth sailing, as I get to briefly see the experience as it was meant to be, I become enchanted by the whole thing with child-like excitement. It suddenly goes from an unattainable goal to reality and draws me right in with remarkable ease.

I doubt that I will ever be able to properly catch my whale, but I'm glad to have been able to take a closer look at it.

What about you? What are your memories and experiences with this console?
 
Last edited:
An interesting article. In my country, Nintendo 64 was never sold during its time (or if it was, I never heard of it). My first experience with the console was a couple years back through emulation. I've played both Mario 64 and Ocarina of Time, but I've never beaten them to the end. I've also tried Star Fox 64, and it still remains one of my favorite games ever.
 
This was a really good piece. Really properly captured the feeling of actually not owning a system and resonated with me as a non-Nintendo kid who, thanks to the internet, had decades worth of exposure to Nintendo games despite never owning a system. Between the time I first laid eyes on Zelda and the time I got to finish one, someone could’ve went through all their school years, college years and probably half their 20s ::lol
 
I didn't cry when Bambi's mother died, but I cried for this. :cry:

At least there's a happy ending.
Lol. Maybe I'm a complete sociopath, but I never cried on Disney movies (except for The Lion King -- that one had the key to the waterworks XD).

Thanks for commenting, dude!
Post automatically merged:

Between the time I first laid eyes on Zelda and the time I got to finish one, someone could’ve went through all their school years, college years and probably half their 20s ::lol
*High fives*.

Couldn't have said it better myself (and I did write the article XD).
 
Man your friend from Italy was such a traitor 😅. In chile the N64 was advertised a lot in Nintendomania by Gus Rodriguez (rest in peace). I wasn't even born on that "era" but I mostly understand the hype for mario 64 thanks to the comercials.
 
Last edited:
(except for The Lion King -- that one had the key to the waterworks XD).

Yeah I mean Simba getting under his dad's paw because his little puppy lion brain refused to process the fact that daddy is dead was pretty sad once you realized they weren't getting no Dragon Ball to resurect him.
 
My first N64 game was Superman when my Grandpa bought me an N64 to keep away from my older brother's PS1. Mom or Grandma was initially pissed.
Thank god he got me Star Fox 64 a week later, probably because he noticed I didn't got too far in Metropolis and that the fact the game wasn't good at all..
 
I adore this!
Such a great story. Really glad you shared

You also make some really great points.
In particular the instance of the 64 and emulation. Thing really did need to be played with it's controller. It's just part of the experience.
 
I had the same experience but for sonic games when I was younger I used to stare at my laptop watching the sonic colors trailer over and over and obsess over it and sonic games released at that time , the only games I could play growing up was on my vista laptop (rip 😭) because I never had any real consoles (except later on with the PS2 that I still currently have , though it's laser is dead 😂😭) and the only sonic games I had played at this point was sonic heroes and sonic robo blast 2 (which wasn't a real sonic game but it was fun and is still fun) I remember the only time I was near being able to play sonic unleashed or colors was on the PS2 I had just gotten the PS2 and went to buy the game only for it to not work after buying it three times (then I discover it was a FUCKING bootleg (original copies were really expensive in my country and rare to find and maybe even more expensive nowadays with the country going to shit lmao lmao lmfao ) and sonic unleashed works normally on my PS2 via softmodding) I only got to experience sonic colors for the first time 3 years ago I think when I had my new PC and it was powerful enough to make it work on dolphin and It was cool and a really enjoyable sonic game but it wasn't really worth all that hype lmfao as it was way too short and relied on 2d way too much , still I got to play other sonic games such as adventure and generations that I still love to this day and play other absolute bangers such fzero gx 👍 (also wow I typed for way too long)
 
I had the same experience but for sonic games when I was younger I used to stare at my laptop watching the sonic colors trailer over and over and obsess over it and sonic games released at that time , the only games I could play growing up was on my vista laptop (rip 😭) because I never had any real consoles (except later on with the PS2 that I still currently have , though it's laser is dead 😂😭) and the only sonic games I had played at this point was sonic heroes and sonic robo blast 2 (which wasn't a real sonic game but it was fun and is still fun) I remember the only time I was near being able to play sonic unleashed or colors was on the PS2 I had just gotten the PS2 and went to buy the game only for it to not work after buying it three times (then I discover it was a FUCKING bootleg (original copies were really expensive in my country and rare to find and maybe even more expensive nowadays with the country going to shit lmao lmao lmfao ) and sonic unleashed works normally on my PS2 via softmodding) I only got to experience sonic colors for the first time 3 years ago I think when I had my new PC and it was powerful enough to make it work on dolphin and It was cool and a really enjoyable sonic game but it wasn't really worth all that hype lmfao as it was way too short and relied on 2d way too much , still I got to play other sonic games such as adventure and generations that I still love to this day and play other absolute bangers such fzero gx 👍 (also wow I typed for way too long)
Lmaoo I guess we had the same childhood.
 
I adore this!
Such a great story. Really glad you shared

You also make some really great points.
In particular the instance of the 64 and emulation. Thing really did need to be played with it's controller. It's just part of the experience.
Thank you very much for commenting.

When I was a staff writer for another side, I briefly touched upon my experience of trying to map the N64 controller to a keyboard, and one of the members (who actually had the console) almost lost it XD It's even worse on a touchscreen. It's like asking for carpal tunnel syndrome XD
 
Last edited:
Nowadays I'm not too fond of the Nintendo 64 but when I was younger I enjoyed my escapades with Smash 64, Conker's Bad Fur Day, some Mario Kart 64 and other that I may not remember now.
 
Back
Top