The Nintendo 64 was the eternal white whale of my childhood.
Not only was it by far the most hyped up console that I have ever seen, but it was also so incredibly expensive that only a few selected stores carried it. That meant that not only was I hearing endlessly about it, but also that I could never see (let alone touch) one. That put me in a very interesting position, and I ended up dubbing the system as "the coolest thing I never saw".
Now, I did eventually come across a few during my family's trips to the mall, as the console was the centerpiece exhibit on places like El Mundo Del Juguete (a huge toy store not unlike Toys R Us) and Blockbuster (the only retailer I knew to carry its games, and the site of a massive gold rush once the stores were being liquidated and the former patrons went to get heavily-discounted N64 cartridges), but that still didn't mean that I got to play it. They wouldn't even let us touch it, which was really annoying... as even the much more popular PlayStation 1 would have open displays where you could play Gran Turismo or something.
But Nintendo's marketing campaign was so relentless that I would often dream about playing all those awesome games that they'd run constant advertisements for. I knew games like Pilotwings 64 and Banjo-Tooie/Kazooie by heart through the endless repetition of their genius ads. It was almost unfair how invested I was on those graphics that made everything I was playing at the time feel like a complete joke.
It's amazing to me how I can still remember this ad perfectly, even after all these years.
Unlike all the other consoles I had goshed over during my childhood, however, I could never own a Nintendo 64. Why? Because the price never dropped. I even asked for one three Christmases in a row, to no avail... it was that prohibitive for a middle-class family that was nonetheless doing very well.
Once the console had "stepped aside" and made way for the GameCube, so very few units had been sold in my neck of the woods that their owners just held on to them like crazy, making any that did pop up command an outrageous price. And once the "retro wave" hit? The only --sane-- option was to forget about it.
What's hilarious to me (at least looking back) is that not even the age of the internet could really put this thing to rest, as the ROMs (few as they were) were so huge that I couldn't download them with my 56k modem, nor could I play any of the ones I braved holding the phone hostage for due to the rough state of emulation at the time and the incredible strain those early programs would put on my aging system.
Actual screenshot of Mario Tennis. It's amusing to me how much of a wild card N64 emulation still is. You either get a perfectly smooth experience or you get to stare into the void, no in-betweens allowed.
A few years later, a foreign exchange student from Italy came to my school and casually told me that not only did he have an N64, but also that he had brought it along with him. He even invited me over to play it... but guess what? The *** controllers were broken! He had absolutely no clue how that had happened and I honestly didn't care anymore. After all those years, I finally had a Nintendo 64 I could play and the thing just refused to. If previous experiences had broken my heart, this one was wearing it like a festive hat.
Meanwhile, TV shows like Nivel X kept covering the system due to popular demand (they normally stopped all coverage of a console as soon as a new one had replaced it) and teasing me with all those cool games I could never play. It was maddening.
But fast forward a couple of decades, put me in a position where technology has advanced to the point where I can actually emulate the entire thing on my phone, and... it was absolutely bittersweet.
Emulation never tells the whole story, and I feel that that's particularly true when it comes to the N64.
Because so much time has passed, I have completely lost my point of reference and I don't get to be impressed (or underwhelmed) by the console on a technical level. I also don't get to put on my rose-tinted glasses and overlook the many flaws that are now painfully obvious to me, because I'm judging something made decades ago from a place of future privilege and without being able to recall my first impressions of it. I don't even really get to complain about the system's bizarre control scheme because I haven't tried the original, so OF COURSE spreading all those buttons over a touchscreen (or keyboard) feels like torture to me... they were never meant to be used that way. I can complain, but it'd be a pretty low-hanging fruit and it would accomplish nothing. Besides, I don't want this to be an angry retrospective.
I still remember the day that this episode aired. The guy showing off the newest Pokemon game was stuttering all over the place because of his sheer excitement. It was oddly charming (and relatable!).
And I have actually found plenty of stuff to love about the N64.
I not only got to try the aforementioned Banjo-Kazooie, but I also beat it several times (which is something only a few other games have managed to make me do). I also found a really impressive assortment of multiplayer games that the kids and I love to play, particularly Super Smash Bros and 007 Goldeneye. This was kinda offset by the fact that most of the games I tried proved to be impossible to run due to a myriad of errors caused by the different emulators, but that wasn't the console's fault. Nor was it its fault that so many of them seemed to be allergic to the Z-Trigger, resulting on a couple of games being rendered completely unplayable due to that... but at this point I'm just willing to chalk it up to the N64's overall weirdness and leave it at that, because I had never encountered another system where half the emulators I tried refused to acknowledge the existence of an entire button for no discernible reason.
It's funny to me how some of my favorite games on a console that had so throughly impressed me with its graphics capabilities were among the simpler ones on that department. Mischief Makers has become my go-to N64 game whenever I feel like playing. It's oddly fitting.
However... when a game it's on, it's ON. And on those rare moments of responsive controls and smooth sailing, as I get to briefly see the experience as it was meant to be, I become enchanted by the whole thing with child-like excitement. It suddenly goes from an unattainable goal to reality and draws me right in with remarkable ease.
I doubt that I will ever be able to properly catch my whale, but I'm glad to have been able to take a closer look at it.
What about you? What are your memories and experiences with this console?
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