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Message: [QUOTE="DietPepsi, post: 277944, member: 73697"] [CENTER][ATTACH type="full" width="382px" alt="1753847404891.png"]95286[/ATTACH][/CENTER] [HEADING=2]Foreword[/HEADING] Apparently, this is the first Sega CD review for the site. I didn't realize that when I started writing this, but hey what better to kick off the topic with one of the most well-known titles? [I]Sewer Shark[/I] is, in my humble opinion, one of the best rail shooters to have graced early disc-based gaming consoles. The game became one of the flagship titles for the Sega CD, and would end up being one of the best selling games for the console. I can’t start talking about this game, without first talking about the console that gave it a home. Let’s take a moment to talk about the Sega CD. Hitting store shelves in 1992 and promptly vacating them by 1996, it was a console that promised the future but delivered a grainy, VHS-quality fever dream. The Sega CD was initially well-received by critics, who praised its sound quality and the impressive soundtracks of games like [I]Sonic CD[/I], [I]Batman Returns[/I], and [I]Shin Megami Tensei[/I] (on the Japanese version, the Mega-CD). However, as the system neared the end of its lifespan, it faced mounting criticism– particularly regarding Sega’s reluctance to fully explore the hardware’s capabilities. Eventually the disc-based gaming advancements made here would lead to the inventions of the Saturn and the Dreamcast respectively. [ATTACH type="full" width="547px" alt="1753847454550.png"]95287[/ATTACH] [SIZE=3]Ghost definitely looks like he'd scream obscenities at the 10-year-old that opens this on Christmas morning.[/SIZE] Now back to the topic at hand. Released in 1992, when interactive movie games were the hot new thing (for like 10 minutes),[I] Sewer Shark[/I] is an FMV-heavy rail shooter with loads of charm. You're thrown into the claustrophobic, ratigator-infested underbelly of an environmentally-destroyed Earth with one mission: shoot mutant creatures, listen to Catfish's directions, and make it to Solar City without becoming roadkill. [HEADING=2]Premise - Even Sanitation Workers Have a Story[/HEADING] The Earth has experienced a global environmental catastrophe and as a result, most of the human population now lives underground in the grimy, industrial network of sewer tunnels. Your job is to pilot a high-speed maintenance vessel through the labyrinth, while eliminating mutant creatures, surviving deadly hazards, and responding to radioed instructions. All the while, you’ll be under the condescending eyes of both your snarky co-pilot “Ghost” (David Underwood) and your elite-employer “Stenchler” (Robert Costanzo). [ATTACH type="full" width="556px" alt="1753847652722.png"]95288[/ATTACH] [SIZE=3]When did Walmart-brand Tony Soprano get elected to commissioner?[/SIZE] You're part exterminator and part soldier, cleaning up this mess of a world one ratigator at a time. The ultimate goal is to show you're tough enough to make it to “Solar City,” a rumored beachfront paradise where the elite live above ground with sunlight and clean air. [HEADING=2]Gameplay - Simon Says, Search Google[/HEADING] The actual gameplay is very similar to those arcade games with the guns affixed to the machine. You don't control where you go, more so when you turn based on the directional commands given to you. Miss a turn? Wrong tunnel. Wrong tunnel? Splat. It’s less about reflexes and more about memorization under stress. Kinda like playing on a [I]Simon[/I] while riding shotgun in an F-16. [ATTACH type="full" width="490px" alt="1753847948259.png"]95291[/ATTACH] [SIZE=3]This Scorpion will not be rocking anyone like a hurricane today.[/SIZE] I can't mention these mechanics without bringing up Catfish. He's one of the few characters in [I]Sewer Shark[/I] who serves an integral purpose to your survival. Catfish shouts out directional markers for which pipe to choose, using clockface numbers like Three, Nine, and Six. It’s a quirky but oddly effective system once you get the hang of it, turning the game into a memory challenge as you race through tunnels. The game doesn’t slow down to let you think either; Catfish will belt out the callout, and so help you God, you’d better remember which direction corresponds to what number. The shooting is pretty rudimentary: aim the crosshair, shoot the enemies, don’t let your energy run out. And, despite the FMV backgrounds trying their best to scream “next-gen,” it’s often just a digitized blur of a sewer moving at mach 3. You’re often left to rely on squinting at the dark pixilated mess and hoping it wasn’t your exit tube. [ATTACH type="full" width="500px" alt="1753847825901.png"]95290[/ATTACH] [SIZE=3]I'd like for you to point out where, in this brown mess, you think my exit is.[/SIZE] [SIZE=4]My one qualm with the gameplay aspect is that, without a manual, it takes quite a while to figure out what’s going on. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good challenge, but there is a certain emasculation that one experiences when having to look up the manual for a 30 year old kids game because you can’t figure it out. Maybe I’m just getting old, who knows?[/SIZE] [HEADING=2]FMV & Acting - Jean Claude Van Damme, Eat Your Heart Out.[/HEADING] Let’s be honest, this is the game’s [B]main [/B]event. The video sequences are so cheesy and charming, that you’d think you were watching [I]Starship Troopers[/I] or [I]The Matrix[/I]. The acting is hilariously over-the-top, and Ghost yells things like “Dogmeat!” and “C’mon, rookie!” with the energy of a man that’s been barred from joining his local police department for hazing the recruits. Stenchler is an even crazier bag of tricks; almost always eating or spewing empty words, he ironically serves as a reflection of the wealthiest sects of society both inside and outside of the game. [ATTACH type="full" width="540px" alt="1753848030419.png"]95293[/ATTACH] [SIZE=3]This man ate my son.[/SIZE] None of the game's characters are written with nuance, and they’re not supposed to be. They’re punchlines in a joke, being told by a story that knows exactly how ridiculous it wants to be. The FMV acting is laughably obnoxious, but that’s part of the charm. You’re not playing [I]Sewer Shark[/I] for James Cameron-level directing– you’re there because you wanted to kill 45 minutes while waiting for your hot pocket to cool down. [HEADING=2]Final Verdict:[/HEADING] [I]Sewer Shark[/I] doesn’t aim for realism. It aims for gratitude. It’s funny, it’s loud, and it’s incredibly 90s—like if Fresh Prince of Bel-Air got locked in a room with a Super Soaker and a bunch of Furbys. It was an early experiment in what interactive film could do for gaming, and somehow works despite its many flaws. It’s witty, frustrating, and unforgettable. [/QUOTE]

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