Here I am, back on my bullshit again. This is a continuation of a previous article, if you want you can read that one as well. There's no intro this time, so let's get roight into the news.
THE OUTLIERS
Unrelated but this is my if I were a theropod.
The following games have not been played yet because I've acquired them fairly recently and I don't have many chances to use my PS3 right now:
- Midnight Club: Los Angeles: I expect to like this one because, man, I love arcade racing. Also, Midnight Club 3 DUB Edition Remix is one of my favorite games ever.
- Ratchet and Clank: Q Force: I heard it's a tower defense which doesn't give me good expectatives, but it might be fun if the weapons are fun at least.
- Trinity Universe: only got this one because it features Disgaea characters. It has an average of 2.4 on Backloggd, though...
KINGDOM HEARTS -HD 2.5 ReMIX-
ONE OF THE BEST BOSSES IN GAMING HISTORY.
- Rating: 3.8/5 (rounded to 4/5, average)
Oh, boy, another Kingdom Hearts collection!
KINGDOM HEARTS II THE GOAT!!! Okay, we’re past the point where we think the story is good. But the gameplay… MY GOD, THE GAMEPLAY! THE BOSSES! THE MUSIC…! AND IT LOOKS SO GOOD! Play this on Critical, the highest difficulty. You will not regret it!
Birth By Sleep is a game that’s loved by a lot of people. The story is surprisingly fine, but it’s also the start of the decadence, in my opinion, thanks to the introduction of Xehanort. The gameplay, however, is bad. Doing basic attacks is forbidden because the revenge value is all messed up. What? You don’t know what the revenge value in Kingdom Hearts is? Heh, no wonder… Anyways, because of the revenge value, you can only do commands. And it just so happens that most of the commands are bad, so you’re mostly using a select few, making the game much more boring than it should be. Also, on Critical you deal only one point of damage until you level up and gain one point of strength, at which point you start doing normal damage. FLAWLESS GAME DESIGN.
We don’t talk about Re:Coded. In this collection, it’s a movie, but the story is bad.
METAL GEAR SOLID 4: GUNS OF THE PATRIOTS
There's a meme in Spanish that reflects this situation, but I'm not allowed to say it.
- Rating: 5/5 (but is it…?)
Metal Gear Solid 4 is a game that’s infamous for being one of the earliest examples of movie games on the PS3 while also being the most popular. And it’s partially true! There’s A LOT of cutscenes and not that much gameplay. The gameplay is classic Metal Gear Solid gameplay, but because it’s so scarce in comparison to other entries, it feels worse. The story is a bit hit or miss (for me it’s a hit), depending on how much it makes sense for you. It serves as culmination and climax of the franchise, and I think it does so well. My only complaint is that bosses weren’t very fun. Also, because it’s so full of scenes, I don’t feel like replaying it any time soon.
If you’re curious about the state of the cover, it’s because the company GAME sucks major ass and doesn’t realize you can put the sticker with the price on the plastic part instead of on the cover itself.
NEED FOR STREET: PROSTREET
One of my favorite cars for Grip.
- Rating: 5/5 (extremely biased)
Just like in the case of Burnout Revenge, I didn’t play this version and mostly got it just to have it physical. I did, however, spend a LOT (and I mean, A LOT) of time with the PS2 version. I LOVE THIS GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAME. I love the tracks; I love the cars; I love the OST; I don’t love the story because it’s kind of whatever BUT THE REST… AEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH. I beat it a lot of times, to the point where I’d boot up the game simply to try and get the best time possible on each track and try different builds for each car. By far what I like the most are the four modes: Grip, Drag, Drift and Speed. Each mode is unique, and each car shines in a specific mode. For example, the Dodge Charger RT is great on Drag, the Nissan Silvia is great on Drift and the Porsche 911 Turbo is great on every mode because we can’t have balance.
A lot of people say this game is buggy but I didn’t find any problems (I did have my save file deleted twice for no apparent reason but it might have been my memory card. Who knows…). Also, last time I played I experienced heavy rubberbanding on the trials prior the Grip King to the point where I couldn’t get the minimum score against the CPU. Oh, well…
NI NO KUNI: WRATH OF THE WHITE WITCH
LOOK AT THAT TECHNOLOGY!
- Rating: 4/5
Complicated. It’s cute, that much is undeniable. The Ghibli aesthetic and characters are there. The music is beautiful. It has monster catching! Love the little guys. What else… the exploration was somewhat fun? Hm.
On the other hand, it’s really easy (perhaps too easy) and the story peaks at the beginning (yes, really). I did love it because it resonated a lot with me, but I don’t know… Give it a try if you’re mildly interested in Ghibli. There’s also a DS version but I think it’s different and doesn’t tell the whole story.
RATCHET AND CLANK: TOOLS OF DESTRUCTION
The RYNO, a weapon that never disappoints. Now with extra Richard Wagner!
- Rating: 4/5
Yup, this is Ratchet and Clank, alright. Not much to say: weapons are fun and shooting is fun, and the level design is the result of the gradually decreasing quality already present in the PS2 games: less exploration, more shooting. The humor is still present but it’s not as good as in the PS2 games. Also, it makes use of the Sixaxis, which forces me to give it less score (I’M JOKING I’M JOKING… or am I?).
RATCHET AND CLANK: A CRACK IN TIME
Hey! LOOK WHO'S BACK!
- Rating: 5/5
A vast improvement over Tools of Destruction, with better story and better level design (still not on the level of the PS2 games). Weapons are just as fun as ever. This is probably the best Ratchet and Clank game on the PS3. NOTE: Charles Martinet voices a character in this game. I replayed this one the most, it feels very good. And, yes, that’s the Collector’s Edition in Portuguese. I got it very cheap on eBay, somehow. It has an holographic cover and a bunch of flyers.
RESONANCE OF FATE
The Three Stooges.
- Rating: 4/5 (HIGHLY debatable)
Simultaneously the best and the worst game of all time. Nothing makes sense and yet it’s all so clear at the same time. I really don’t want to say why because you NEED to experience the craziness that is Resonance of Fate firsthand. In fact, all I’m going to show you is this scene. It pretty much tells you all you need to know about the game. Do yourself a favor and play Resonance of Fate. You don't, however, have to finish it if you don't wish to.
TEKKEN 6
One of the funniest renders of all time.
- Rating: 3.5
Why do I have Tekken 6 twice? Because I love wasting money, that’s why. It did come with a Dragon Quest VIII poster so it’s a win for me.
WOLFENSTEIN
It's not always green, but when it is...
- Rating: 3.5/5
Quite alright, I must say. I guess it’s a Wolfenstein because you kill nazis and shoot. The shooting itself is fun and as you progress you unlock skills that are reasonably fun to use. When you’re not on a mission you can explore a town that’s perpetually in conflict. Here you can shoot dudes, earn ammo and acquire collectibles. I played on the hardest difficulty, and it was fun, but I got hard stuck with a particular enemy towards the end. I'm pretty sure it also had some kind of weapon modification system, but I don't remember.
Hitler doesn’t appear, by the way.
YAKUZA 3
GOD KNOWS I MUST KILL GODKINOWA DETRACTORS
- Rating: 5/5
THE GOAT. THE FILTER. THE DESTROYER.
Story is bad EXCEPT when it focuses on the orphanage: when that happens, it’s the best the franchise has to offer. Combat is bad not because enemies block a lot but because damage is really low, even lower than in PS2. Substories are kind of whatever and there’s a trilogy of them that’s particularly bad. Side content is okay, considering it’s the first time SEGA bothered making actual side content for a Yakuza, but a lot was left out in comparison to the Japanese version. It's one of the best and if you disagree then you’re not my friend.
YAKUZA 4
WE ARE THE YAKUZA 4 (*a faint For Faith in the distance can be heard*).
- Rating: 4/5
In terms of combat, it’s a vast improvement over Yakuza 3. And that’s it. The story is on the level of Yakuza 2; side content ranges from boring to annoying and it features one of the worst antagonists and final bosses. On the other hand, it introduced Akiyama, Saejima, Pure Love in Kamurocho and Machine Gun Kiss so it doesn’t matter. Substories are pretty good, also. I remember that the first time I played this I got so stressed out with my life that I had to rush this game, and I didn’t enjoy it as much. In fact, I didn’t catch any of the important story tidbits, so I didn’t remember the story at all a month later. Then I replayed the remastered version and… yeah. Also, it’s VERY EASY, even on Legend difficulty.
YAKUZA: DEAD SOULS
Me the first time I arrived in London.
- Rating: 3/5
I consider this the worst Yakuza game. You can tell that it’s a cash grab made to exploit the zombie craze, but it’s not very good. It’s still quite fun, and for me at least it improves Ryuji’s character a lot, but the gameplay and substories feel very repetitive, and the performance is awful. On the other hand, the story works because it has Yakuza craziness (Akiyama is charismatic, Ryuji is endearing, Majima is fun and Kiryu is badass) but the antagonists are not very good. Do give it a shot if you crave some Yakuza, but don’t expect a masterpiece.
AND THAT’S IT! THIS TIME FOR REAL
Shout out to Rayman Legends, goated platformer.
Thanks for accompanying me on this endeavor! See you on the next article!
